Ashley Romano I want to help you learn to love yourself
JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!
Author, event host, speaker & [email protected] 📍South Florida
That face you make when you’re done minimizing yourself FOR GOOD! No more minimizing my body or my feelings or my desires or my needs or my energy! I AM FREE TO BE ME! 💗
“I’m not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say, we don’t want your broken parts
I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say, no one will love you as you are
I won’t let them break me down to dust
I know that there’s a place for us
for we are GLORIOUS 💗
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave
I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be
THIS IS ME!
Look out, cuz here I come!
& I’m marching on to the beat i drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies
THIS IS ME” 💗
(This Is Me from The Greatest Showman. Look it up on YouTube and bring a tissue 🤗)
6431820 May, 2019
Slow Fat TRIATHLETE! 🏊♀️🚴♀️🏃♀️
I did it! My first #triathlon is in the books! My only goal was to finish and I’m proud to say I did! I was so nervous to start, I had a few silent tears before I got in the water. & once I was in the worries pretty much washed away! I didn’t panic in the water, I rode 12 miles in an hour on a bike not made for racing, and although my legs were cement and my body was so hot it was shivering, I somehow managed to finish the run portion using jog/walk intervals! I was so overwhelmed at the finish that I nearly hyperventilated and had to lie on the ground for a moment lol It was sooooo hard. There were times I asked myself “why did I sign up for this?!” But as soon as I crossed the finish I remembered why I signed up for every race I have ever done. I was so proud of myself and so happy. Especially having my mom, some friends and some of my swim coaches at the finish to support me! You guys were amazzzing 💗
So will I TRI again? Probably. But I will likely wait until next year when I am hopefully in a place where it’s safe for me to be a bit more strict with training. The race would’ve been more enjoyable if I were in better shape (notice I did not say smaller shape. I’m talking about aerobic capacity, not body size/weight) This was my first race where I tried to practice training without obsessing and it was challenging. As I’ve said in previous posts, I can’t intuitively exercise to train because the body doesn’t require that amount of exercise to maintain health, so it’ll likely never ask for it. It was a challenge to balance but I learned a lot & I will be better prepared and have more fun on the course next time!
Slow Fat Triathlete caption was inspired by the book with that title! It’s a great guide (minus the diet culture eating advice) for anyone thinking about taking on their first Tri! It’s on amazon if you want it!
More pics in my story!
1,0076117 May, 2019
I got some awesome confirmation about trusting my body, this past weekend! I was at the last race clinic for my triathlon and the coach asked what we were doing for nutrition before the race. A bunch of people shouted out their carb loaded breakfasts and I started to feel a little insecure about my planned breakfast... I had been having an egg & avocado on a tortilla before training- tomato depending on whether I ate it in a plate or folded it for on the go. I got brave and just said it because I wanted to know if it was not ideal and I’d be better off with something else. I’m not even joking she said my breakfast is perfect & protein has a better energy conversion rate compared to carbs. So insignificant to everyone else in the room, but I could’ve cried right there lol My body told me to eat this. I gave it permission to eat whatever the fck I wanted without judgement and for a few weeks I ate a bacon egg and cheese bagel EVERYDAY. But I started to realize how heavy and dense my stomach felt for so many hours afterward. So one day I decided I wanted a tortilla instead of a bagel. & avocado instead of cheese. It digested so much better and it was light enough to exercise after. After a lifetime of believing I could not trust my body and that I needed external rules and cues to make healthy choices I feel so relieved by this confirmation. My body is so so so so good to me. I have put it through hell for the sake of my own healing and it just keeps keeping me alive and showing out on the regular. Grateful AF today, as I eat my pre-race breakfast and head to the park to scope out the course for @mightymujertri on Saturday!!! It’s the final countdown!
529328 May, 2019
Breakfast of Champions 😍
I was reading this morning about how when we start eating sufficient amounts of food our metabolism can can speed back up- great news for anyone who has spent a lot of time dieting or restricting and has a very slow metabolism as an end result. Our body slows down to conserve energy when we aren’t eating enough and for many people trying to lose weight that shows up as a plateau. I was well aware my metabolism paid a huge price for so many years of under eating, but I didn’t know it could be completely reversed, so learning that I’m already healing it just by eating more is a relief to me. & while thinking about that I was brought back to my days on #weightwatchers while I was in high school. I remember when we would hit a plateau they would tell us to essentially binge for a weekend and get back on track Monday and notice the scale start moving again. Somehow it worked and I never understood it. Now I’ve had a lightbulb go off and I’m like Dang! Our metabolisms slowed down because we were under eating while counting points. Then we fed ourselves more than sufficiently for a few days and the metabolism started cranking again. It makes PERFECT sense how that would take a person out of a plateau. NOW FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I WILL SAY IN THIS POST! Sharing this with you is not encouragement to binge your way out of a plateau. There is a name for that and it is DISORDERED EATING. Rather, consider that if we eat so little food that it causes our metabolism to slow down, we are not practicing a sustainable and healthy way of living and if our goal is truly health, maybe considering another option is wise.
Fucking LOVING @thefuckitdiet! She’s speaking my life in her words! There’s a link to it in my story!
IM SO FREAKING PROUD OF MYSELF TODAY 😃 I had planned to do a little self assessment to see where I am at today, since my #triathlon is in exactly one month. Well, as soon as I got to the park it started down pouring 😭Eventually I got in the water anyway, only to see a fish within seconds & immediately regret my decision to train in an inlet vs pool. Idk why but it totally freaks me out to see the fish so close up. When snorkeling they’re like 10’ away... these fish are right in front of my face and not at all afraid of me 😭😭 but I promised myself I would do 2 beach lengths, so after a serious pep talk, I did! Next I did an 8 mile bike ride in the rain and got super messy! That is actually fun to me, makes me feel like a kid 😍 The clouds were parting just in time for a 2 mile run (eh hm, jog/walk... let’s be real, jello legs 😋) When I finished the run I decided to get back in the water because I was hot AF and ended up doing two more beach lengths- uninterrupted by fish! lol By the end of training both me & the sun were SHINING! ☀️ #proudAF
Check out my story for more!
I am running @mightymujertri Miami on May 11 (my birthday!) and fundraising on behalf of @pacecenterforgirls! If you’re called to contribute to their mission of helping at risk girls to create a life they’re proud of, please use the link my bio to donate! Thank you 🤗
. @live.love.healthy.retreat @affirmationstation
5242912 April, 2019
Something crazy happened this morning.... I WANTED A SMOOTHIE. Like, craved a smoothie. Like, my body was saying “give me a smoothie” ITS WORKING FOLKS! 9 months in and my body is finally asking for nutrient dense food on a regular basis 😭
One of the first phases of intuitive eating is to give yourself unconditional permission to eat whatever tf you want. I have been in that phase since July 2018. Although downright terrifying to a chronic dieter, it is necessary in order to shift the belief that certain foods are forbidden. For those who have restricted for a long time this phase feels OUT OF CONTROL and like you just can’t get enough for a little while. But when we eat without guilt or judgement or shame something amazing happens- the forbidden foods become less appealing.
There was a time when I couldn’t keep chips or ice cream in the house because family size containers would become single serving for me. Now I can have a the same bag of chips for more than a week sometimes. And the even better part is that not only am I much less interested in binging these days but my body has been asking for nutritious food more and more regularly. 😭 I was sooooo scared to take this journey but I could not imagine being a slave to calorie counting and restriction for the rest of my life (a requirement to maintain my light weight.) & for a long time I questioned my sanity and why I was willing to trust the doctors and influencers who I put all of my faith in. But here we are.... 9 months later and my body is asking for the kind of nutrient dense smoothie I used to force myself to drink to the sake of replacing a meal. The difference now is that if I am still hungry after, or 2 hours later, I will give myself permission to eat again.
I am on the record saying “if I ate what I wanted and not what is required, I’d be 300lbs again” and I truly believed that. But I’m starting to realize I might be about to trust my body afterall. Damn, that feels GOOD 😍🤗
Smoothie is @groundbasednutrition chocolate vegan with almond milk, frozen banana, cinnamon & peanut butter 🤤
1671811 April, 2019
Today’s dose of humble pie was served by a 12 mile bike ride followed by a 2 mile jog/walk. 😭 I had to do intervals, my legs were freaking JELLO. Anyone else ever rode 10+ miles and then tried to run & can relate? it is the most strange feeling; like my legs are 3x heavier than normal & just won’t listen to my brain saying GO! lol 😅 #triathlontraining
I hoped to prepare for my triathlon without a strict training schedule because I wanted to have fun not become obsessed again, but recently I’ve had to own I need to create and follow a schedule for the rest of my training. The thing is, i can’t train “intuitively” for a race when I’m starting semi out of shape because my body does not require as much exercise as I need to get into great shape, just to be healthy. So naturally, the body will not ask for it & I can’t rely on internal cues to get me prepared for a race. Of course I could just go for it without increasing my stamina, I do believe I could finish “as is” but in addition to finishing, I want to enjoy my race. (Racing unprepared is not fun... it’s actually kind of miserable.) so, this week I began training on a schedule . My commitment to myself is that I will practice not talking shit to myself if I miss a session or if my body is not up for what I had planned and I decide to adjust accordingly. ☺️
5 weeks till race day!! @mightymujertri
PS! I am competing on behalf of Pace Center For Girls! If you feel called to contribute to their mission of helping at risk girls create a life they can be proud of please use the link in my bio to check out the fundraiser! 🤗
Happy Sunday everyone!
. @live.love.healthy.retreat @affirmationstation
834287 April, 2019
When I first started exercising one of my favorite aspects was how much better I felt mentally, afterward. I could be having a horrible day and if I went for a run or slammed some weights I felt soooo much better. I’d even joke and call it therapy sometimes. Add the good feels to my calorie counting and it makes sense how I became obsessed with exercise.
Then about 5 years into my journey I started diving deep into personal development and all of those feelings I had been exercising away for so long came to the surface. & soon I realized that the only way to heal pain and suffering is to FEEL it. That doesn’t mean dwell on it and continue suffering, but there has to be a release and a decision to take on a new belief. For a long time I thought exercise was the release. It does release serotonin and keeps the mind busy (aka distracted) so truly, it’s more like an emotional bandaid that happens to strengthen the body.
THIS IS WHAT TRIATHLETES LOOK LIKE! 😍 They’re tall, they’re short, they’re lean, they’re fluffy, they’re smooth, they’re dimply, they’re every color and every body, they’re beginners and they’re professionals! Almost any body can TRi! 💜
Today’s training for my first #triathlon was SO AWESOME! We not only learned techniques and I got help with my breathing, we also did drills that were soooo fun they will be part of my workout even when training is over! I did so much better than I expected, got some awesome tips and I am really proud of myself!
It was also interesting today to observe how everyone’s unique body served them in some way. While some of us had the gift of buoyancy, others were more dense. But then some of those dense bodies had other advantages, like huge hands that work like paddles in the water. Our bodies are here to support us- no matter how they look. & if we keep a positive perspective, we can almost always find proof of that!
Thank you to the awesome coaches Thaddeus, Shara, Nelson & Nicole! As well as #DIASwimclub & @mightymujertri for putting this session together!
PS! I am completing this triathlon in support of @pacecenterforgirls! If you feel called to contribute to my fundraising efforts, use the link in my bio for more info! 🙏💜
4211023 March, 2019
#WorkoutWednesday motivation courtesy of @3footgiant & his abs of steel!! 💪🙌
The highlight of my weekend was hearing Dr. Sean Stephenson speak! He reminded us that we have been given these particular bodies, experiences and qualities because they lead us in the direction of our greatness. & then he encouraged us to ask ourselves one very important question:
Why were you born?
Why was I born? It’s the reason my dad left when I was 3, so I could feel unlovable. It’s the reason I was molested that same year, so I could feel taken advantage of. It’s the reason I was obese, so I could feel not good enough. It’s the reason I hurt myself, so I could feel ashamed. It’s the reason I was homeless, so I could feel unworthy. It’s the reason I was in sex work, so I couldn’t feel damaged and dirty. It’s the reason I gained half my weight back, so I could feel like a failure.
So, why was I born?
I was born to give women permission to love themselves unconditionally. As Sean would say, “had I come out of the womb loving myself unconditionally you’d have no reason to listen to me.” Instead, I was given contrast. Experiences that inspired the exact opposite. So I could learn to love myself anyway and give you the permission to do the same.
It doesn’t matter who’s hurt you. It doesn’t matter that you’ve gained the weight back or never lost it to begin with. It doesn’t matter what your bank account or home look like. It doesn’t matter what you did when you were young and dumb or even what you did when you were older and “should have been” wiser. It doesn’t matter what mistakes you’ve made or opportunities you’ve missed. It doesn’t matter how much education you have or where you grew up. What color you are or how much space you take up. YOU WERE BORN ON PURPOSE, WITH PURPOSE, AND YOU DESERVE TO WAKE UP EVERY MORNING KNOWING YOU DESERVE LOVE.
Thank you @3footgiant. I will be a better influencer, speaker, coach and human having listened to you.