Now my body and mind is recalibrating to somewhat semi normal, I am now going to address my craving for sugar.
As from this weekend I am going to start intensive training on my bike to do the London to Paris bike ride later in the year.(personal commitments allowing)
This will give me another focus, and also it’s another F# #k You to that dreadful substance that dominated most of my life. #positivethinking 👊🏻
63101 hour ago
Finally got the black key tag from Narcotics Anonymous ~ it feels surreal that I have been clean and sober for 2 years. I have 24 more hours and for that I am blessed. I thank the God of my understanding and the people who love me.
Easy to tell what’s before and what’s after, isn’t it?? Looking at the picture on the right, I cannot help but to be so thankful that isn’t me anymore. The emotions I feel when looking at it are powerful, at this time in my life I was just about at my rock bottom, I had just lost my best friend, just out of a very abusive relationship (that I stayed into for 3 years), living away from my family, almost homeless, addicted to drugs and alcohol, quit my job because I just wasn’t in no shape to work, and all I was doing was partying. I don’t even know if I’d call it partying cause it wasn’t normal get ready for the bar and go out and have fun, it was just all about drugs for me at this point and I thought it was taking away my pain but everyday I felt more and more hopeless, what did start out as “fun” turned into complete misery. At first I met this guy who took me everywhere and supplied the drugs, soon and fast he ran outta money, and we started living in a “crack house”. I remember thinking how did fancy hotels with hot tubs turn into this but by that time I was so addicted to drugs that it was so hard to do anything else but stay, I remember saying to myself “this is my life now, Erika”. Almost ready to give up, no that’s a lie, I did give up for the longest time... after been around people overdosing and dying, and to handle that I would do more drugs to take away how I felt. After the 3rd funeral in the same month, I didn’t feel hope, but I knew I had to get out of here before I was next. So I remember calling my mom, so scared and embarrassed (she new I wasn’t well, but didn’t know to what extent it had gotten) she legit drove to Ontario to get me, and was there within 2 days. When she picked me up, I was black and blue all over and looked like I had been dragged threw hell (I had been) I was threw down the a flight of steps by the same guy who took me too all those nice hotels because he found out I was leaving, thankful my mom was there the next day and thankfully I was alive. This isn’t my whole story, but some. But the main part of my story, is about today, I’m sober and happy and healthy and I got threw it. Addition is a bad disease but fight it!!
121104 hours ago
A mistake isn't a mistake when you learn something, it all most could of happened so you would learn or remember. So often you will find the ego finding the smallest things to make a person seem less. The ego does this, it believes every body is separate, the ego is not acknowledging we are life, each and everyone one of us, no more or no less. It's hard not to make mistakes here in this world. When the ego is making you feel bad, go into a full acceptance, yes and move forward from there.