Hello frens. Sorry I’ve been absent for so long, I’ve just been taking a break from social media in general, so that included this account. I do want to get back to posting though, so here I am!
Currently, I’m on vacation with my boyfriend. We spent the day inside today because he got super burned, so here is today’s food.
Skyler made us breakfast, which was an egg in a basket, some Cajun sausage, a banana, and orange juice.
Then after a while, I snacked on some Italian four cheese cheez its (so good!). A bit later, I made a ham and cheese and mayo sandwich on wheat (wheat sucks) and had some more cheez its.
Then a bit after that, we had cookies n cream ice cream in waffle cones, which was v yummy.
Dinner was late since we snacked all day, but it was bowtie pasta with Alfredo basil sauce. Honestly, I am stuffed now. And ready for a nap. But. Yeah. That’s all I got for ya for now. Hope you’ve all been well💛
5731924 August, 2019
Hey friends. It’s been a week. I don’t really want to talk about it because it’s just a big bummer. But here’s my food.
Lunch was a couple pieces of butter bread and three clementines.
Later I had some pineapple.
And then dinner was some leftover mac n cheese. I’ll probably eat more. I just don’t really feel like it right now.
4563218 September, 2019
𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕒 𝕨𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖
I wasted so much time counting calories and it only made me unhappy! Counting calories was the beginning of my ed. I downloaded a tracking app and started to track some of my meals until I counted every calorie. It didn’t last long until calories were the only thing I could think of. I had to know about every calorie I ate and if I didn’t know the calories of something or if I ate more calories my day would be ruined. There wasn’t any food freedom at all anymore and everything was controlled. But then the day came where I was sick of all this and now I’m so thankful for this day! I just was sick of eating so little and I wanted to enjoy life again. So with the beginning of 2019 I stopped counting calories from one day to the other and that was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!!! Of course at the beginning I still counted a in my head because I still knew how many calories my food had. But I slowly forgot these calories and it didn’t last long until I also stopped to count the calories in my head. Now I don’t count any calorie and eating becomes more relaxed day by day.
The more you stop controlling something the more it stops to control you!!! I am of the opinion that you can only fully recover if you stop counting calories. If you start to recover you or someone close to you should look that you’re really eating enough but I think YOU shouldn’t count your calories. You don’t have to have the same opinion but this is just my view and I can talk from experience and say that it really works!!!
I hope I didn’t forget something and there might be a part 2 of this topic.So If you have any questions of this whole topic feel free to ask my every!!!💓
Motivation is so important in recovery. I’m sure something motivated you to recover. My biggest motivation was/is to be happy again. I want to enjoy my life and be healthy again and this was/is only possible with recovery. I want a life without worrying and without putting all my energy in thinking about food. There are endless things that are so much more important than food and body image. So why was/am I destroying all this things for an unhappy life with an eating disorder? Yes there is no answer that makes sense for this question. In my future I want to travel, to study/work, to have a family and to live my best life. But this is only possible if I fully recover. I will give everything for that because I want this so so much. I will not let this eating disorder destroy my life any longer, it already destroyed so much. .
What also helps me a lot is journaling. I write about my thoughts, feelings about what works well/badly. And I always ask myself what I love about myself, what I’m thankful for and what has made me happy today.I think journaling is really freeing and it reminds you how far you have come. It’s also really helpful to reflect everything when something went wrong. Then it’s more easy to permit something like this in the future.
Hello frens! Posting a day late once again, but that’s life.
Brunch was a plate of scrambled eggs, sausage, and a banana.
A bit later, we had ice cream again (we bought a whole tub, can’t let it go to waste!)
Then for dinner we had pizza (ate more than pictured) and Gatorade. Finally, we snacked on some cheddar Pringle’s. And that’s that
480726 August, 2019
Hello friends. Brunch today was a banana and a piece of chocolate chip banana bread.
Dinner was rice with roasted veggies + sausage, which was very yummy. I made a bunch of it so it’s gonna be my dinner for most of the week, but that’s okay.
Now I’m snacking on some sour cream and cheddar chips, and that’s that
How was your weekend?
This is the inside of one of the branches of the tree that hit our house last week. I’m not sure why it looks like a flower on the inside of this branch, but I am drawn to this picture. 🌱 It reminds me of the mysteries and beauty in nature. 💫It reminds me that we rarely know what is on the inside just based on outside appearances. 🌟 And it reminds me of the magic that inside all of us. ✨
💟Recovery is about going deep; going with in, and finding out who we really are when we let go of the stuff on the outside .
💟Recovery is about reclaiming who we are meant to be. Spoiler alert-> who you are meant to be has NOTHING to do with your weight or pants size .
💟Recovery is about finding and appreciating the beauty with in us all and letting go of worrying about the outside stuff
2761 hour ago
This right here is what a natural, sitting down, unedited body looks like. This right here is MY body and no one else’s, which means I can have it however I damn well please! If you told me to take a picture of my body like this and look at it a year ago, I would have cried. I would have looked at it for about 5 seconds and already be pointing out all of the things that I hated about myself. Do you know why though? Because of diet culture. Because of people always telling me that I was never good enough the way I was. Because I was surrounded by the media posting false, edited photos of celebrities who were promoting things like detox teas, laxatives and appetite suppressants. Diet culture has fucked up society, like actually fucked it, but it’s about time that Instagram made the right decision to restrict posts related to diet culture to prevent others feeling guilty for the way they look. It still isn’t good enough though that products that are harmful to your health are still being sold on shop shelves to children who don’t know any different. Well I can tell you right now that your body is beautiful just the way it is. Fuck the diets and fuck all of the shit that comes with it (literally and hypothetically) You should never let anyone or anything ever make you feel less than what you are, which is more than enough. I can not thank Instagram enough for finally doing something about the dangerous diet culture accounts and posts on social media, but it just isn’t enough! More and more businesses are creating these ridiculous products so that they can become wealthy without thinking about the consequences, but this is something important that must be addressed. As someone who used to want nothing more in life than to be skinner, I can tell you now that there is so much more to life. Don’t bother wasting your money on this crap or even associating yourself with this crap. You are the way you are for a reason and there is no one else who could even come close! This is why you have to embrace your individuality and I can promise that once you start to remove all of the toxic, negativity in your life the rest will follow. It’s time to embrace the real you.
148162 hours ago
Portion sizes should not determine how hungry you suddenly are and “recommended serving sizes” are ALWAYS unrealistically small. .
One burger. That’s all. Just one lonely burger is the so called “recommended” serving size that’s lovingly slapped on the label of my burger packet. And doesn’t my anorexia like to turn this piece of information into a mental conundrum for me. .
Unfortunately, so many of us immediately flip the package of the products we buy as a compulsive effort to please our eating disorders. Labels give anorexia another inch of control: they falsely feed us reassurance that we’re not “overeating” or simply allow us to easier “track” our caloric consumption.
But serving sizes know NOTHING about you or your life. That don’t take into account YOUR existence or YOUR journey.
Serving sizes are literally always laughably small, and do you want to know what’s equally laughable? They’re not based at all on what is customarily consumed in a typical sitting of whatever product you’re buying, they’re loosely based off a section of an eating behaviours survey conducted in 1970. 19effing70! People, we’re calculating our individual bodies needs off of random numbers collected from strangers LAST CENTURY. .
Personally, I’m trying to train myself not to pay any attention to the label on the products I buy. It’s simply too anxiety provoking and will absolutely not provide me with information that will light my soul. Serving sizes can’t tell us how hungry we are, so why do we let them dictate how much we eat? Last time I checked, nutritional labels didn’t ask how much space there is in your tummy, and until they do, I SHALL NOT let them govern how much I consume.
Don’t let grim serving sizes control how much of something you consume NOR allow you to feel guilty for consuming more than a what’s “recommended.” It’s actually proven in a recent study by the Centre for Science, a public advocacy group, that less than 10% of the population eat this amount of packaged food. People, this means 90% of peeps eat MORE THAN THE SERVING SIZE. .
You ARE NOT glutinous for consuming more than what’s “recommended”, you’re a NORMAL HUMAN
7612 hours ago
Sometimes, things don't happen the moment you want them, because you simply aren't ready. Sometimes, you have to learn how to handle little bits of success, so you're humble when they become massive. Sometimes, you have to learn how to be okay by yourself, so you don't ruin a relationship with unhealthy attachment. Sometimes, you have to handle little criticisms here and there, so you'll be ready when your life takes off, and people are really watching. Sometimes, you have more growing to do than you realize, and your life honors that, even if it lets you down in the moment. There truly is always a bigger plan.
4122 hours ago
U P D A T E
I’m doing pretty good today. School was like usual, busy but interesting. I went to the gym this afternoon, which was nice. I focused more on my upper body by doing curls and wings i think they’re called. I made sure to stretch after lifting, as the last time i didn’t, and my arms were sore and stiff for a few days. Body image and mood have been pretty good today too. I’m starting to eat more intuitively now, eating what i want, when i want, and not basing it as much on calories and such. Anyways, hope everyone is doing well, and staying strong no matter what. Wishing you all a lovely day!
4322 hours ago
Śniadanie: owsianka z masłem orzechowym, rodzynkami i musem z żółtych malin
II śniadanie: jogurt jagodowy z chia
Obiad: leczo jarskie
Podwieczorek: mus z jabłka, gruszki i kefiru
Kolacja: bułka pełnoziarnista z masłem, serem żółtym, serem białym i 🍅
Children do not arrive here ashamed of their race, gender, age or disabilities. Babies love their bodies! Each discovery they encounter is freaking awesome. Have you ever seen an infant realise they have feet? Talk about wonder! That is what an unobstructed relationship with our bodies looks like. You were an infant once, which means there was a time when you thought your body was freaking awesome too. Connecting to that memory may feel as distant as the furthest star. It may not be a memory you can access at all, but just knowing that there was a point in your history when you once loved your body can be a reminder that body shame is a fantastically crappy inheritance. We didn't give it to ourselves, and we are not obliged to keep it.
All. The. Feels.
Photo: I dont even know how to explain this beauty except imagine a cinnamon swirl but without the swirl and somehow they also incorporated vanilla creme patisserie? Livin' the dream.
Ich dachte ich update ihr euch mal wieder. In der Zeit hat sich viel verändert, mein Körper und ich.
Und ich würde echt sagen dass ich viel glücklicher als vor der Essstörung sogar bin, mich viel wohler fühle, und mich viel mehr Liebe als davor... und das ist so ein schönes Gefühl.
Ich würde sagen ich hab das Beste aus der Essstörung gemacht und ich bin so stolz darauf was ich jetzt bin.
Es wäre als wäre die Essstörung nie da gewesen.
Ich fühl mich so frei und so besonders. Damals habe ich mich nur besonders gefühlt weil ich die Essstörungen neben mir hatte und jetzt fühle ich mich besonders weil, ich weiß dass ich es bin. Hört sich jetzt vielleicht zwar arrogant an aber es ist so.
Občas si představuju, jaké by to bylo, kdybych mohla létat.
Roztáhnout křídla a vznést se do oblak, daleko od všech problémů a špatných myšlenek.
Cítila bych vítr ve vlasech a mohla bych cítit pohyb svých dlouhých křídel.
Letěla bych paralelně s ptáky, proletěla bych mraky a nakonec letěla po boku dopravních letadel.
Vznášela bych se jak dlouho bych chtěla. Klidně navždy.
Dýchala bych normálně, nebyla by mi zima.
Cítila bych se skvěle.
Jenomže to nejde. Nejde jen tak roztáhnout křídla a vzletět. Nejde jen tak odletět od problémů.
I když je ta představa mraků v mém periferním vidění krásná, nejde to. A nikdy nepůjde, protože problémům je třeba čelit.
Protože problémům také nenarostou křídla a neodletí od nás pryč.
2744 hours ago
Dinner tonight was an all children’s favourite. breaded chicken patty in donut form with beans in tomatosauce and little potatoeballs from the oven. As you can see i ate like a child-sized portion. That is because i have Some stomach cramps. I try my very best to eat When im not feeling Good. I had sports at school today and we had to run and ride the bike. So i Will have to make up for the calories. I Will try to drink a proteïn shake this evening if my cramps aren’t too bad💖❤️ #anorexianervosarecovery#edwarrior#foodie#anafighter#nourishtoflourish#strongnotskinny#kidsmeal#foodfreedom#foodisfuel
3514 hours ago
My team wants me to get to orally take 50% of meals and snacks either with supplement or eating the food otherwise if I don’t manage 50% they’ll add an extra 4 oz to my feeding 🙃
2434 hours ago
Lunch 🥪 🥗
Chicken Breast and Garlic & Herb Philadelphia Sandwich with a Side Salad.
Tough day - Weigh in day!
So, I hit my aim, and I gained for the first time in my recovery. I cried on the scales, and throughout my therapist and dietitian appointments... but I’m fighting through. I know this needs to happen, but I need to try and come to terms with weight restoration (any help/advice welcomed!!). Another increase to my meal plan - breakfast this time! This terrified me, as I’m not a big eater in the morning, and I’m already feeling so full and bloated from my old meal plan.
However, I must remember - they are the experts, I need to put my trust in them and the plan. We are still in the experimental stage to see what works for my body, so I need to stick to plan otherwise I’m only tricking myself, and I won’t get the care and plan I need (please remind me I said this halfway through the week!). In more positive news - I haven’t calorie counted for TWO WHOLE WEEKS now! 🎉 This is massive for me! The increase in my meal plan means I won’t know the calorie amounts in the breakfast portions, which will hopefully help with breaking the calorie obsession.
Juste manger des produits frais et avoir le plaisir de les préparer et suivre ses goût et ses envies il faut juste retrouver ce plaisir de manger.
Vous inquiétez pas j'ai pas mangé que ça! J'arrive vraiment à trouver un bon équilibre.
Eating disorders carry with them a certain level of denial so they can stay around. It makes you oblivious to all the ways in which it makes you unhealthy. That’s how it functions: you need a level of denial to kee the behaviours going. .
There’s no way you can value health if you are participating in eating and exercise related behaviours that are inherently unhealthy. .
Restriction = unhealthy
Compensation = unhealthy
Compulsive movement = unhealthy
Avoidance = unhealthy
Your eating disorder will attempt to convince you it’s influence is a good thing: that you’re just “health conscious.” But you aren’t: you’re living with a life threatening illness. Every time you listen to anorexia you gamble with your life. .
I don’t care if everything you eat goes against every diet culture rule ever: it is FAR, FAR healthier than abiding by the rules of your eating disorder. .
In light of my recent post, I just challenged myself to a lunch that fed my soul: one that went against every rule of my anorexia. I had a completely oil dressed roast sweet potato and Mediterranean veg salad with delicious toasted seeds, hummus (which came on the side, that wasn’t a special Anorexia request) AND seeded bread. .
HELLO I’m now anxious, guilty and uncomfortable AND on my way to living a life that feeds my soul. Feeling the fear and eating anyway. Shazam 💪😏 ✌️ 👌 😋 🌻🌟 🌟 👯♀️ ✌️ ✨🌟 💕 💪 ✨ 🌟 🔥 😏 💃 🤩🕺 💃👏 💪 💕 😏 💪 ✨ 🌼 🌸🌿 Spread those recovery wings and set yourselves free 🕊🌻 #anorexia#anorexiarecovery#anorexianervosarecovery#anorexianervosa#ed#edrecovery#eatingdisorder#eatingdisorderrecovery#eatittobeatit#nourishtoflourish#nourishdontpunish#edfam#ana#anafamily#beatana#edwarrior#edfighter#anafighter#anawarrior#fearfood#recovery#anarecovery#strongnotskinny#warriors#anorexiarecover
11407 hours ago
Mój nastrój psychicznie się poprawił od weekendu, kiedy było znacznie gorzej, aż do teraz 😊 przez trzy dni chodziłam do pracy i wczoraj było już naprawdę super, jednak już dziś nad ranem nie spałam ze stresu szkołą i znowu czuję się gorzej 😢 w poście zamieszczam wczorajszy foodbook, jadłam to samo z @rosa_ed_fighter i zrobiłam przy okazji pewnego rodzaju test 💗
🔜 jak wiecie, od tygodnia nie liczę już kalorii ani nie ważę obsesyjnie jedzenia, jednak my ustaliłyśmy z góry gramaturę np. masła orzechowego czy tahini. Stwierdziłam, że ja sama nałożę tyle, ile podpowiada mi mój organizm 🙋♀️ wcześniej jednak wyzeruję wagę kuchenną, aby sprawdzić już po nałożeniu wybranej porcji, ile tego wyszło.
Co się okazało? Ilości, które wybrałam „na oko” były praktycznie identyczne z tymi ustalonymi! Co to oznacza? 🤔 mój organizm w większości nie dąży już do objadania się lub ograniczania (choć z tym pierwszym mam problem wieczorami...), tylko sam wie, ile jest dla niego najlepiej ❤️ radzę KAŻDEMU wykonać taki test zwłaszcza, jeśli na codzień liczycie jeszcze kalorie 🔜 ile nałożyłybyście, gdyby waga nie istniała?
. #śniadanie tortilla z masłem🥜 i gruszką🍐 (to połączenie mogę Wak polecić z całego serca, dawno nie jadłam czegoś tak pysznego!) #przekąski warzywa z hummusem, 2 wafle ryżowe w gorzkiej🍫 + ☕️ #obiad krem z puszki groszku konserwowego, z wegańskim majonezem i tahini 😋 papryka (zjadłam całą), mix🥬 #kolacja owsianka na napoju z orzechów laskowych, bo taki akurat był otwarty 😅 z... 3 DODATKAMI: KTO ZGADNIE??
a po kolacji oczywiście musiałam zawalić i zjeść prosto ze słoika masło orzechowe i tahini, dość dużo... 😢😥
Przestań przejmować się tym co na Twój temat mówią ludzie. Oni zawsze znajdą coś co się im w Tobie nie spodoba. Pamiętaj, że wszystkich nie zadowolisz więc nie zwracaj uwagi na ich słowa. Zacznij żyć tak jak sama tego chcesz. Rób to co sprawia Ci prawdziwą przyjemność a nie to czego oczekują od Ciebie inni. To Twoje życie i to Ty masz być szczęśliwa. Nie ma ludzi idealnych ale to właśnie ta nieidealność czyni nas wyjątkowymi. Bądź sobą i nikogo nie udawaj a będziesz zdecydowanie bardziej szczęśliwa. Czerp z życia garściami i walcz jak lwica o to w co wierzysz i czego pragniesz. Nie pozwalaj innym odbierać sobie pewności siebie. Taką jaką jesteś jesteś piękna i wartościowa. Zaakceptuj siebie i nigdy ale to nigdy nie zmieniaj się na siłę. • Dzisiaj na obiad poleca się spaghetti bolognese z dodatkiem żółtego sera 😄
Lunch today was a massive challenging of risotto as it’s been a fear food which I have no clue why as I’m fine with rice but it shows you how unfair the eating disorder is! It’s also a packaged meal which I also struggle with as Ana feels it isn’t healthy or fresh! It was actually amazing and definitely will be having again and I recommend risotto for those that haven’t tried it before
88411 hours ago
Hi everyone ! 😞
Sorry, this post is gonna be very negative again...
Since yesterday, I kept thinking about what’s going to happen during my 2 hours of break for lunch, I didn’t think about anything else 🙄
Finally, after my spanish class, my “friends” who were going to O’tacos didn’t wait me, so I was alone in the school... and I didn’t know what to do, because the only place of my school when I could work was closed 😑
So I get out of the school, and I was too cold, so I decided to go to McDo! But not to take a burger or whatever, just a coffee, something not expensive, bc I don’t like to spend too much in foods 😬 The tray is a little sad but...It was just to be in a warm place.🙂
On my way to Mcdo, I go through O’tacos, and I saw my friends, I just run away because I was afraid they see me, and asking me to eat with them...😣
So yes, now I’m just alone in the Mcdo with my coffee, hoping that I won’t see anyone I know, and waiting a little to eat my lunch, which is going to be 4 slices of ham...🤭
To be honest, I like to be alone, but the fact that the people find this weird makes me embarrassed, you know what I mean? 😪
I don’t know what I’m going to say if my friends ask me where I’ve been 🤔
Have a fab day guys 🖤
Keep fighting 💪🏽 #anorexia#anorexie#ana#anarecovery#anafighter#anorexiafighter#recovery#recover#orthorexie#orthorexia#ed#eat#tca#tcarecovery#tcafighter#eatingdisorder#ed#edrecovery#eatingdisorderecovery#edcommunity#keepfighting#extremehunger#edrecovering#lonely#mcdo#mcdonalds
68611 hours ago
Petit corps, cher petit corps. Je ne pense pas à toi assez souvent, j'ai même tendance à t'oublier, te négliger. J'oublie que c'est toi qui me permets de vivre pleinement, j'oublie que c'est toi qui me portes chaque jour. Petit corps d'à peine 1m60, que j'ai affamé, épuisé, blessé, haï. Corps que j'ai voulu faire disparaître à jamais. Les autres étaient toujours plus beaux, toujours plus intelligents, toujours plus courageux et plus méritants que moi. Les autres mangeaient mieux que moi, faisaient plus de sport, avaient de plus jolis abdos. Les autres étaient dignes et admirables. Pendant des années je le suis rabaissée, répété que je ne méritais rien, que je ne valais rien, que j'étais faible et nulle. Et puis tout récemment je me suis demandé : pourquoi je pense ça de moi ? La réponse m'est apparue comme une évidence : je n'avais rien fait qui me rende fière de moi. Alors j'ai décidé d'affronter mes peurs. De passer mon bac. De manger ce qui me faisait envie. D'enlever tous mes TOC, même si il me reste encore des petites manies de vérification pour me rassurer. J'ai décidé de rajouter de la sauce dans mes plats et de la douceur dans ma vie. De me reposer, de prendre soin de moi. De m'aimer, un petit peu plus chaque jour. Toi qui lis ce post, toi qui te dévalorises, toi qui te compares, toi qui doutes, n'aies pas peur. N'aies pas peur de découvrir la magnifique personne que tu es. N'aies pas peur de tes envies, n'oublies jamais tes rêves, sers - t'en pour avancer. Nous sommes tous capables de dépasser les limites que nous nous sommes nous - même fixées. Il suffit parfois d'un regard, d'un espoir, il suffit d'y croire. @marinoret pour la détermination. @chunky_fighter pour la gourmandise. @eloha_voy pour la douceur. @happeanutb pour la force. @iza_et_les_calories pour les bonnes petites recettes. @recoveringlara pour les super porridges. @sabrina_vs_anorexie pour le soutien. @spoony_chrony pour les magnifiques réalisations de couture. #edfighter#motivation#youcan#edrecovery#edfam#anafighter#beatana#anawarrior#beproud#recoverywin#youarethebest#believer#prorecovery
I started to desire any kind of foods, even the ones i hated before. I started to crave fat and sweet foods like a crazy. This is also where my passion for oil and butter started.
Then one day, back from the high school, I saw a biscuits on the table. I perfectly remember which ones. I had been so intensely starving that a sudden urge made me eat one of them. Oh my God, I had broken my diet 🤯. The urge made me eat another one, and another one, and another one, and other biscuits, sweets, butter, bread, etc. I was completely out of control! I just lived my 1st bulimia attack.
Once full, i was horrified and so guilty about all i had eaten that i tried to compensate with the only exercise i could do: jumping on a chair in my bedroom, alone and crying.
A lot of binges followed this episode, compensated by some weird and tearfull exercise and restriction. I was so lost and terrified. I was too young to understand why i was loosing control. I thought i lacked of will and i was feeling so guilty.
As i binged more and more frequently, one day i begged my mother to serve me a plate, to put the same portion as everyone. I was in tears and just wanted to eat "normally". I thought if i didn't skip a meal and did like the other ones, i wouldn't need to binge. But i didn't know that those 3 months starving frustrated me and got me addicted to binges. So i ate the plate and once everybody had finished ones meal, i still craved to binge.
It desperated my. I tried hard to fight binges, but always the wrong way, because i didn't have the key, which now i know is to completely stop restricting.
One day, after hearing that some people purged to not gain, I purged. And again, i had no clue this was the beginning of my 2nd and worst nightmare.
I will never get over this vegan ice cream store tbh. Here was coconut, maca chocolate and blueberry w/ aloe Vera 😍
And btw can we talk about the size of the pizza I ordered on the 3rd? 😂 I mean maybe it's common size on other countries but in France it's twice the normal size! .
Anyway, these days I'm at home bc I still have one week off work, so it's nice to have time to relax and read, but it's also more complicated than at work to deal with eating.
I still have a lot of food thoughts, thinking about eating even when I'm not hungry 😒
So I'm constantly trying to focus on something else to not binge, and more importantly to eat when I'm ACTUALLY hungry. This is the hardest part, eating without turning it into binge x) but except one or two little mistakes since the beginning of the week, I might say I'm quite proud of myself for how I'm dealing lately 😊
Also the last "trick" I'm doing is buying smaller packages for food like chips, bc I know I'll not manage to stop before the end of the package so, buying a smaller package is allowing me to finish it without feeling guilty af when thinking about the amount of calories it represents, and then being able to move on instead of sticking on this number (and eventually ending up purging it for this reason 😅) So I guess that's a temporary solution xD
Have a nice day ❤
. . #anafighter#food#recovery#panicatthedisco#help#support#disease#depression#selflove#ed#anxiety#health#wellness#bulimia#photooftheday#anorexia#instadaily#edfam#edfighter#instapic#life#mentalhealth#edwarrior#anarecovery#miarecovery#art#eatingdisorder#ed#edrecovery#fearfood#extremehunger
For dinner, I had a slice of cornbread, white rice, and ají de Gallina🌟 I know there are veggies pictured on my plate, but I ended up not eating them.
Today has been hard. Ever since last night's incident, the ED thoughts are really loud. I really overexcersized today. I'm scared that this is going to be another dark relapse. I don't want that to happen, but these thoughts are so loud and so manipulative. I know that calories, weight, and how much food I eat do not define me in any way, shape, or form, but my mind still clings on. What else can I measure myself with if it's not weight and food?
The problem is that this is so ingrained in my psyche. I need to let go, but it's so hard. I'm going to try my best to not count calories tomorrow, even estimating calories. Small steps are still steps ❤
ive eaten fries 3 times in the past week
i am so NOT healthy, right?
if i give my body fries because it wants fries, there’s no problem.
i am not forcing myself to have them,
i am just listening to the signals ive ignored for years. •
i had fries many times this week,
but considering i hadn’t had any last year and the few years before,
it’s normal and necessary.
you know what,
even if i wasn’t recovering,
if i was in my healthy body,
it would still be okay.
fries are just fries.
it’s just food for god’s sake.
it’s okay for me to have a yogourt every day so why would it be different with fries? because they contain a lot of fat?
but so what?
why is that a bad thing?
fats are good.
fats make our body function. •
no more food discrimination. every type of food is good in moderation. eating a bunch of fries is okay if that’s what your body wants. ignoring your hunger cues or your cravings because that’s “not healthy” is what is actually not healthy. •
PTW? had school all day and then danced 2 hours. after dance, i had this veggie burger with fries and the gravy. i also had 2 oranges with a big yogourt. i wish i hadn’t eaten the oranges ??