Tired, Hungry, Nauseous, and Heartburn:
every thing that I’ve felt these last few months, but I absolutely wouldn’t change it for the world 💛
Today, I’m 16 weeks. That means 16 weeks of growing this sweet babe. 16 weeks of falling in love all over again with someone I haven’t met yet and 16 weeks of dreaming of the day I get to finally hold him in my arms 😭
*cue all the emotions*
Finally sharing my (long overdue) first trimester pregnancy update over on my YouTube channel if you want to take a peek!
I haven’t been nearly as on top of documenting my pregnancy this time around so I’m definitely trying to play catch up 🙈
Anyone else on the struggle bus too?! 😂 #16weeks
A grand adventure is about to begin January 2020
We are excited to share our special news and even more excited that William will have a sibling. God’s timing couldn’t be more perfect for this precious baby.
I have anxiety about packing for a trip on a good day... but packing for the hospital is a whole other challenge!
I have now had my bag packed for a week and each day I over analyze what’s in it.
I posted early this week in a healthy living group I’m in about some of the options I did pack, but help me out?!? What are your must have items?
Here are some of the more natural, healthy options I chose to pack this time around. 🌿 Natural fiber wash cloth. I got these amazing bamboo washcloths and I cannot wait to use them. They are ultra-soft and easy care. Bamboo is a great alternative to cotton because it is hypo allergenic and resistant to odors, mildew, mold, and bacteria even after 9 million washes!!! 💩 I know a lot of blogs and mom's and pretty much everyone with unsolicited advice say you don't need to pack diapers because they will have them at the hospital. Great, but... have you read the ingredients in some of those diapers? Baby's skin is soft and sensitive so I packed some Pampers Pure. I may not be ready to make the leap into cloth diapering but I can still make better choices on disposable ones. 🌿 Plant-based, toxin-free baby wash. I want to know what is in the products I am putting on my baby. I packed Young Living Seedlings baby wash for SJ's first bath because I am 100% sure the ingredients are amazing. I can just focus on soaking up all that new baby smell cuddles... with a dash of lavender! 😉
Today I went shopping for some postpartum jeans and was reminded just how hard it is to try on clothes after having a baby. (A) You have no idea what size you are, so you grab a couple that you think will fit, only to realize you didn’t grab any that are actually big enough. So you go back and pick out a pair of jeans in a size you’ve never worn in your life, hoping they’ll actually be TOO big. But they turn out to be the perfect size. (B) That giant full length mirror seems to have a single purpose: accentuate every new curve and fat roll that your body is currently holding onto. It’s so hard to stand there and not criticize every little thing you see or be discouraged by your new form. (C) Then you get that voice in your head that tells you to “love your body”, “stop shaming yourself”, “remember the miracle your body just went through”, or “accept/love the fat because it helped your body grow, birth and now feed a sweet baby”. But hearing that voice doesn’t change your mindset...it just makes you feel guilty for having a negative mindset to begin with.
Mommas, it’s ok that this is hard. It’s ok to feel discouraged. It’s ok to not like the way you look right now. It’s ok to not like the way your clothes fit. But you don’t have to stay in that headspace forever.
So today, standing in front of this mirror, I decided to accept that this is where my body is (for now). I decided to accept that I’m not in love with it (and that it’s ok to not be in love with it). But I also decided to ignore the size on the jeans I was about to buy - they fit and were comfortable, and that’s what matters right now. I decided to TRY to love and accept my body a little bit more every day while I’m in this phase. I decided to look forward with hope and excitement to getting back in shape.
Postpartum is already hard enough. Let’s not make it harder on ourselves by trying to force ourselves to feel any different than the way we really do, or by guilt-tripping ourselves for feeling those things. Instead, let’s embrace the stage we’re in, take it one day at a time, and commit to working towards a more positive mindset and body image as we go.
I have been involved with music since I was a little girl. In and out of bands, always on stage, and that is my favorite thing in the entire world. When I was in the postpartum depression trenches, my confidence was gone and music disappeared from my life completely, because I didn’t feel worthy of devoting even half an hour a day to what I love. I felt guilty. In my children, I found the strength and motivation to overcome that valley. I made a conscious decision to start loving myself and putting aside the guilt because it was keeping me from being the best mother I could be. I want my daughters to learn to love who they are and know their worth. Shake off what is holding you down, turn up the volume and go dance in your kitchen. You are WORTH IT!!!!
I can’t stop listening to the new @Pandora#TotalConfidence station from @totalwireless, which inspires me to use my voice, share my story and always provide self-care and self-confidence. They’re the biggest 4G LTE network, so you can go confidently anywhere life takes you! Check it out at https://pdora.co/TW_Maya #sponsored#totalwireless
He's been REALLY fascinated by my belly in the last few days, wanting to say "Hi" to the baby constantly. He's also been UP MY BUTT about everything. No doubt this brilliant little human is sensing a shift. I'm not gonna lie, I feel really good about the steps we've taken to make our family expansion as easy as one can prepare for. Baby items have been out for weeks and boundaries have been set far in advance. Glenn's toys that are extremely messy or potentially dangerous (he's really into throwing stuff. Small human catapult, really) have been put away for safety reasons and sanity reasons. Books have been rotated. Purging and deep cleaning has and will continue to happen. This weekend the bed gets "double made" (mattress protector, sheet, mattress protector, sheet), the dogs and their bedding get washed, and more stuff gets donated. Next week the birth pool gets set up. We are rolling into this change! #babynumber2
It’s the final countdown! T-9 days until we head in for our induction! Unless Baby Z decides to come on his own before then. I’d be totally cool with that by the way because this momma is tired, uncomfortable and ready! 🤗
According to all of the pregnancy apps and websites, Zaxton should be around 6lbs right now and packing on about a half pound each week from here on out. But according to my specialist doctor, this big guy is nearing 8+ pounds already!! Which is enough of an explanation for my clothes not fitting!! (Even some of my maternity tops are becoming crop tops! 🤣 #bumpdate
Amelia’s favourite thing in the world right now is her little sister.
She would rather help me to bath her than watch cartoons or play with toys.
Wherever Taya is, she wants to be and I’m all for it cause she did most of the work tonight and I just supervised which in this weather is totally goals.
8532 hours ago
🌿 Frauenarzt - Update 🌿
Heute war das erste CTG und alle waren super zufrieden damit. Mini A. war total entspannt. Klein N. damals, hat ständig dagegen getreten und fand es garnicht toll 😅
Mein Blutdruck ist weiterhin sehr niedrig und ich muss seit 3 Wochen wieder Eisentabletten nehmen, aber das kenne ich ja nun schon.
Bis jetzt habe ich auch "nur" 9kg zugenommen. Ich bin gespannt wieviel es am Ende sein wird. ⚖️
Ansonsten gibt es gar nichts mehr zu berichten. Der nächste Termin ist in 2 Wochen zum 3. Screening. Dann sehen wir Mini A. das letzte mal vor der Geburt 😍
Happy #37weeks ! Baby boy is officially “full term”and flirting already! 👣😜 Just 20 days left, but I’m honestly ready, if he is?! Actually, let’s wait at least another week, I still have some packages on the way 🤷🏻♀️😆📦👶🏻💙
Pregnancy can be so difficult, frustrating and uncomfortable at times, but I wouldn’t change any of it. I love my growing bump and growing healthy baby boy. Pregnancy doesn’t always have to be beautiful and glowing as people portray it to be. It’s ok to admit the difficulties, we all go through some. Every pregnancy is different. We can glow and still have hard times too. Just embrace your pregnancy for what it is. #babynumber2#pregnancy#love#mahalokeakua
34 Weeks Pregnant💙
This week seems to be the week everything is annoying me...😶 I don't think the heat or mugginess has helped, because I've not been sleeping well. But seriously I'm feeling huge, and I'm just constantly moaning. Really don't know how the hubby's putting up with me. 🤣😱 What's this week been like for you preggo friends?
1913 hours ago
Good things are in the works, hoping for some changes here soon. 😊🙌
Little one is definitely making making my bump up higher this pregnancy. Eden sat so low it was crazy.
Last pregnancy I threw up non-stop for 6 months straight and couldn’t eat ANYTHING other than chicken nuggets till 6 months. THIS pregnancy, sometimes I nauseous but, have yet to throw up. Little one gives me major headaches, it’s all good tho, totally worth it! & my cravings are so strong, I can practically eat whatever I want without an issue. I’m so excited to see my belly grow and grow. 💖 Small bump for now at 2 months. #2nd OB appointment today with #2nd baby. (Swipe to see the makeup lewk) 😉 #mommyandbaby#pregnancyfashion
3013 hours ago
June 26, 2019 // 9 days postpartum. Currently stuck in the 2nd and 3rd paragraph. The guilt is real.
"As I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me" And I hear myself telling you in mine,"I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him -- as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how he adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments.
And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.
I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life."
O B S E S S E D 👅⠀
My go to meal in a bowl. Protein, hidden veggies, fruit, fat & carbs 👌🏼⠀
It’s been hard to eat this pregnancy & I’m in the second trimester & not seeing any signs of relief. So I have tried my best to just adapt.⠀
I like eggs & fruit mainly 🤷🏻♀️⠀
No meat or beans unless hummus 🙅🏻♀️🤢⠀
So the eggs, the hemp seeds & my shakes have been how I get my balance of protein. I also like yogurt parfaits 👅⠀
I’m trying to watch my banana intake as they are high in sugar & I’m eating a ton of fruit. Sticking to lower sugar fruit like peaches 🍑, blueberries, strawberries 🍓 & cherries 🍒 ⠀
Vegetables have been a struggle but I’m hiding spinach in my shakes & smoothie bowls 👍🏼 & eat snacks of carrots & guac or hummus.⠀
For healthy fat I’m eating avocado, organic cheeses, coconut milk, hummus & lots of nuts. ⠀
I also got a hold of myself & am back to gluten free with my @delandbakery Millet bagels & my guilty pleasure is honey almond cream cheese spread for them 😬⠀
Back to eating all the colors of the rainbow 🌈 ❤️💜🧡💛💚💙🌈⠀
⠀ #OnlyPortionFixersUnderstand 🤪⠀