It’s okay. It is now, and it will be later.
Of all the wisdom @hardstark spits every episode, these two words stuck out to me this week. While setting yet another fantastic example of normalizing therapy and mental health, @hardstark spoke about using some self compassion with the reminder of “it’s okay.” ...
Feeling anxious? It’s okay.
Struggling with depression? It’s okay.
Fighting your eating disorder? It’s okay.
Not feeling yourself? It’s okay.
Need meds to help your mood? It’s okay.
Super tired? It’s okay.
Something hurt? It’s okay.
Didn’t exercise today? It’s okay.
Not always prioritizing self care? It’s okay.
It’s. All. Okay. No judgment.
You’ve got this.
You can drop a pant size without doing endless hours of cardio & under eating.
I’ll say it again for the people in the back. You CAN drop a pant size by lifting heavy weights & eating plenty of nutrient dense foods.
About 2 years ago I hit my largest pant size-and it took a lot of mindset shifts to learn to love my body. After giving up on the 30 day challenges and started implementing long term strategies to improving my health the results are FINALLY coming.
Don’t rush your success. Consistency is 🔑 and it might take forever but it’s worth it. “Never let how long something might take hold you back from starting because the time will by pass anyway” 💕
15219 minutes ago
Everyone’s path is different, but for me this is pretty much how it happened.
One day I decided that I didn’t want to put on another outfit and hate the way I looked in it.
One day I decided I wanted to be confident, happy and healthy on the inside to match the outside persona that everyone thought was the truth.
I started out slow, just working out a few days a week.
Then I added on from there; more workouts, then nutrition.
We all take a different path, but aren’t many of our goals the same? Happiness.
Loving ourselves for exactly who we are.
Share where you are in your journey below. We’re all here to cheer each other on! Strength comes in numbers and it’s nice to have a tribe supporting you every step of the way!
6120 minutes ago
Omri Essentials bomber jacket is a light weight silky jacket with inseam pockets and ribbed edges ✨
7422 minutes ago
Let's start a revolution!
1126 minutes ago
::DAY 6: WHY I STOPPED FAKING ORGASMS IN MY 20s::
First off, I’ve chosen to hang this glorious artwork above my tub in my last two homes. Keeps me remembering how I want to live and feel in my body. Perhaps there’s art in your life you can use as an anchor also?
Now onto the topic: faking orgasms. I stopped doing this because a) it’s lying b) it robs everyone of a more honest experience c) I learned to detach from outcomes (no pun intended) d) I stopped prioritizing my partners’ egos over my own pleasure.
I could end the post there and give you plenty to digest...but here’s the biggest wake up and shift I had around this, which can be applied to an array of non sexual things: by pretending I enjoyed something or that I had an experience above what I actually had, I was misleading my partners. I was allowing them to think they had “performed” better than they had. I was subscribing to an idea of “performance” being a relevant thing in a place where so much connection, intimacy, depth, truth and pleasure should (yup, I’m dropping the should bomb) be the priorities, depending on what you’re craving and co creating.
I was also actively disconnecting from my body’s signals and needs and training her to settle for whatever was available or being offered. I was not cultivating the courage, compassion or consideration to truly tap into my desires, ability to name and ask for them to be met, AND willingness to have them met.
It was a dirty, deceptive habit and my entire sexual life is better for having ditched it.
If you feel compelled to share or respond to this but it’s too personal for public, feel free to DM me here - would love to know your experience with this ... it’s for sure a tender aspect of untaming your body. #untameyourbody
How do you empower the little women in your life to love their bodies and themselves?! One thing I decided to do a long time ago was to stop talking bad about my body out loud. Everyone has negative thoughts about their bodies from time to time (eating disorder recovery obviously makes it more intense), but when you say it out loud I feel you give that thought so much power. I noticed once I stopped talking negatively about my body to other people, the negative thoughts started to dissipate. When I became a bonus mom I realized how important this truly is around young women. Let’s try our best to only say positive things about our bodies, and ALL bodies for that matter, especially around young women. ❤️
. #springbreak2019 was a success! Thanks so much to @thebopowitch for coming up to help!!! We love you! Some big firsts for me this week: CJ called me ‘Mama’ (I have no idea for how long this will last but it absolutely melted my heart😍), I breastfed Sydney in the wrap, annnnnnd I breastfed in Footlocker with no cover after a very loud crying fit😂😭🤣.
47111 hour ago
Yesterday was not a good body image day and today isn't much better, but I took this picture anyway to challenge myself. Posting it isn't easy since I don't like the way I look here, but I'm trying to let go of the idea of perfection, whatever the hell that is. And I had candy this evening, while watching documentaries. I shouldn't have to feel ashamed that I'm eating sweets but dear science how I'm fighting against that feeling now!
I wanted to go to the gym because I felt like I had to modify my body. But you know what? I didn't! I had to fight hard but the thoughts remained just thoughts. What is that if not a #recoverywin ? I'm not gonna say the thoughts are gone because they're still there, but I'm going to try my best to argue against them and tell them to shut up because they're WRONG!
No one has to go to the gym because they had candy, no one has to exercise as a compensation for what they ate. This goes for me too, not just other people! But I'm so good at reminding others about this, it's much harder to remind yourself.
By the way, thank you so much for the comments on my last post! Even though I don't feel good, at least I feel a bit better now, in part thanks to you beautiful people. I'm so glad we found each other on this platform. I'll reply to your comments later. 💖
[Image description: Lili is sitting on her bed looking serious. She wears a sports bra with the #gavelo logo printed in pink on a blue, yellow and green pattern. She has green shorts on. You can see a bird tattoo on her right arm. Her reddish blonde hair looks a bit messy.]
Diet culture has us believing that our bodies are only worthy of caring for when they are a certain size, but what would it be like to take care of the body you have now, not the one you wished you had?
To feed it, move it and rest it, just as it is? You don’t have to love it, but acknowledge that ALL bodies deserve to be accepted and respected- yours included.
I have two openings for personal styling tomorrow at @maryrosenwboutique!!!! I have a 3 and 4pm!! I can do online and in-person! Comment below or DM me to sign up! It’s free with no minimum purchase!
Mary Rose NW Boutique is a body positive Boutique in Oregon City, Oregon that has amazing styles for sizes Xs-3xl! A portion of all sales goes directly to the Mary Rose Foundation which supports eating disorder recovery❤️❤️❤️ Have you ever had a Personal Styling session??? How was it??? Photo cred to the amazing @pgmajor
1232 hours ago
🤬 JUST GO TO WORK! 🤬
Those words have been thrown at me twice in the past week. It was nobody on here — it hit much closer to home. I’d like to address this since apparently it’s a “common” belief that “going to work” can fix or heal physical and mental illnesses. •
I DO work. I work each day at trying to stay calm, cleaning, training the dogs, grounding myself — staying ALIVE! This is all work. Don’t let anyone make you feel invalidated or “less than” for not working a traditional job. Working on myself has been the hardest job in my entire life. ( and I started working at 13 ) •
Working a “traditional job” is not going to heal my #ehlersdanlossyndrome or #autoimmunedisease issues nor is it going heal my #panicdisorder or #agoraphobia — I live in an area where the antiquated belief that “therapy is not work nor is it necessary”. I hate being judged— especially by people who are supposed to love me unconditionally. I have my own issues with trying to learn to love myself. My #selflovejourney ❤️
Unless you’ve felt the sheer HELL of Agoraphobia or being #agoraphobic you will never know the amount of WORK is involved in #exposuretherapy — I’m working to become my best most mature evolved loving and healthy self. Don’t let anyone make YOU feel inferior. Don’t let anyone judge you. Don’t let anyone hinder your progress— and that’s my rant for today. Be your own advocate!
As always — love and many hugs! ❤️💚
PS: I’m working on trying not to freak out during the bad storms and tornado watches. What are you working on today? •
This week I’ve had bad body image, on top of depression from the warmer weather lately. My depression peaks in the summer - I could stay in all summer and not care. My body doesn’t tolerate the heat well, I clearly hate the sun. On top of horrible body image related to my eating disorder, the heat makes me retain water and bloat. A true recipe for disaster for me. Today, it’s warm. I’ve been ignoring the heat and still wearing jeans and my favorite sweatshirts - today I decided to put on my shorts. I became vividly aware of how much my body has changed since the last time I wore these shorts - especially the lack of muscle due to losing it when I recovered from my Mastectomy and despite my efforts my body just isn’t the same. I’m learning to accept this, I’ve sat in the discomfort all day. I’m still working on the courage to wear a T-shirt or tank tops as it’s been so long, I’m so used to trying to cover up a tumor I let grow to the size of a softball in my breast out of fear of surgery. I didn’t let fear win, cancer didn’t win, cancer has changed me physically and mentally, I’m learning to accept myself, to wear what I’m comfortable in vs covering up, to just live. #breastcancer#foobs#health#mentalhealth#anxiety#depression#anorexia#adultswitheds#bdd#eatingdisorderrecovery#bodyacceptance#bopo#selfcare#selflove#positivity#positivevibes
1602 hours ago
DISORDERED EATING: What is it?
Often, the distinction lies in the frequency and severity of behaviors and the distress and/or negative health effects they cause to the individual. -
It is estimated that 25-30% of Americans suffer from some form of disordered eating. Some professionals who work in the field say the figure is actually closer to 40%. -
So, what are some DISORDERED HABITS? Here’s a list. How many have stolen years and joy from your life?
• chronic dieting
• regular denial of hunger
• skipping meals
• self worth based on shape/weight
• compulsive eating behaviors/rituals
• body checking
• lists of “good/bad” foods
• avoiding social situations
• avoiding eating in restaurants • avoiding eating foods you don’t know the Calorie content/macros • isolation from friends/family/activities that involve food
• excuses for not eating meals (allergy, gluten-free, vegetarian, etc.)
• secret eating
• food obsession • exercise as obsession, to burn off Calories • exercising when sick • feeling guilty for missing exercise -
Here is a list of HEALTHY HABITS. Let’s work at incorporating more of these healthy habits. -
• good hunger cues; knowing when full
• good satiety cues; knowing when hungry
• able to eat a meal & then get on with life
• eating isn’t filled with drama
• not thinking about food/eating/what you ate constantly afterward • weight/size/shape/appearance does not define self worth • exercise is enjoyment; not punishment or obsessive
• missing a workout is not mentally crippling or anxiety causing • being able to eat and fully enjoy a restaurant meal without obsessing over what to order, what the macros/Calories are or how to compensate/mitigate for the meal
• being able to eat when hungry even if it isn’t “meal time”
• not having a list of “good/bad” foods - -
❤️ If you find yourself more in the top column than the bottom, not enjoying or living life as freely as you once did or wish you were, challenge yourself to break those rules and start eating and living with more freedom and less restriction and obsession.