Raise your hand if you heard this growing up. Or if you still hear it.
The irony of this is: of course people don't 'have these problems' because we don't talk about them so of course we don't know otherwise.
I remember being made to feel as if my experience and challenges were weird. Isolated only to me. I was told some variation of this time and again. I get it, if we have no point of reference we usually jump to this conclusion.
The reality is so many of my peers were experiencing similar things: anxiety, depression, cultural identity challenges, crises of faith. On and on. But not knowing this, the elders around me told me I was the only one.
And thus the cycle continued. "Oh you're experiencing this? Nobody else is" ➡️ Ok I'm weird. I'll keep this to myself ➡️ Nobody else knows that someone is experiencing this ➡️ Someone else gets told "nobody else has this problem".
The beauty of our nature as human beings is a strong desire to feel less alone. This includes in our suffering. Not because we want others to suffer but because it helps us feel normal.
As well, knowing that we are not alone in our struggles breaks down the silence around them. Less silence=less stigma=less barriers to getting help and support.
But being that first one saying publicly "I'm not ok" is scary. I get that. I've lived that. I know you'll get there in your own time. For now, I want you to know: No. You're not the only one experiencing this and there is nothing wrong with you for experiencing this.
👇🏽: Have you heard this before? How did it affect you?
953 hours ago
<- swipe -> Domestic abuse and marital rape is often over looked in our society, women are blamed for the actions of their spouses. He hits her? She must have given him back chat... he raped her? It’s his right... he divorced her? She wasn’t a good wife... our societies misguided advice is ruining lives we live in 2019 but our mentality is still stuck in 1800. Domestic abuse is wrong. Marital rape is wrong. no ifs, no ands, no buts. This must change.
“You know what’s always been interesting to me as a curvy Desi girl? You will ALWAYS be sexualized because of your big boobs and butt, but then at the same time will be told that you cannot be a sexy, confident being - all because 1) Muslim girls are supposed to be modest and covered, not sexy and proud, 2) you’re fat and fat people shouldn’t be proud of being fat, and 3) no man is going to love/marry someone that doesn’t take care of herself.
I don’t think people understand how difficult it is to live in a world where you hear conflicting messages of body positivity like: love yourself, every size is beautiful, and to be proud of the skin you’re in, but on the other side you hear negative messages that somehow come across as backhanded compliments like: ‘you have a pretty face but your body needs work.’ Yeah, someone has said that to me before.
Why is it forbidden for Desi women to feel sexy, to feel proud, and feel confident? And why are our bodies CONSTANTLY sexualized without our consent and treated as some prize to be won by the men we marry?
I can’t explain to people how often my body insecurities come into my head when I’m around people. I feel like I am always worried about looking too sexy or that the people around me are observing my body in a sexual manner. I have blamed my body for being the reason things didn’t work out with someone and use it as an excuse to keep myself from welcoming new people into my life, romantically. Mostly because, my entire life, I’ve been told that in the end my fat, my rolls, and my everything will drive people away. As if the key to winning a boy over (and even winning life) is to be skinny and modest.
I wish us big girls weren’t told that we had to be “modest” and wear loose clothing and dupattas to hide our curves from the lingering eyes around us. I wish, instead, we were told to love and appreciate our bodies and be sexy beings on our own terms. Define modesty in our own way.
I mean, if people are sexualizing me anyways, why should it not be on my own terms, right?”
1643313 October, 2019
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So anybody out there following kartik? Today marks the start of the holiest month in the vedic lunar calendar. Pilgrims all around the world gather in the sacred heart of india in vrindavan and dedicate their entire being towards their spiritual pursuits. This month is dedicated to the divine feminine shakti Radha(no mistake Navaratri being the lead up to it), and whatever you do in the name of devotion yields like a thousand times the benefit, because the feminine aspect if God, literally his Heart is alot more merciful to the seeker. We’re all seekers in one way or another right? What are you searching for? @saisha_photography in front of the came this time wearing Sitas Sindur jogger set avail on our website and @thelifeofasocialbutterfly behind the cam xx @ranicollectionsydney coming thru with the fire bling