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divorcedmom - 71k posts

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  • We feel lonely when we’ve lost connection with our partner Or maybe we sensed the loneliness before the relationship + expected someone to take away our aloneness. Not feeling seen or heard in a relationship contributes to a feeling of loneliness despite the physical presence of another. It’s a miserable feeling. It’s a feeling of emptiness. You feel invisible & unimportant in the very relationship that you need to feel heard, seen + understood. 
So what does connection look like? 
Being vulnerable with your partner. Looking into your partner’s eyes when talking to one another. Not comparing your relationship to others on social media! Holding space for your partner’s full spectrum of emotions— not just the comfortable, easy emotions. Sharing your feelings (i.e. “I’ve been feeling _______ recently. I don’t want you to hear it as blame but more me wanting to trust you with my inner world”). Having consideration for your partner’s needs + desires— making their happiness just as important as your own. Receiving your partner’s bids for connection + attention rather than turning away from them (Bids for attention are attempts to connect with our partner when we are seeking attention, affirmation, or affection). Most importantly, ask yourself if you have a connection with yourself + then with your partner. More often than not, we feel lonely in our relationship because the mirror is reflecting our loneliness within ourselves. We’ve just been looking for connection through someone else when we needed to go within.
  • We feel lonely when we’ve lost connection with our partner Or maybe we sensed the loneliness before the relationship + expected someone to take away our aloneness. Not feeling seen or heard in a relationship contributes to a feeling of loneliness despite the physical presence of another. It’s a miserable feeling. It’s a feeling of emptiness. You feel invisible & unimportant in the very relationship that you need to feel heard, seen + understood.
    So what does connection look like?
    Being vulnerable with your partner. Looking into your partner’s eyes when talking to one another. Not comparing your relationship to others on social media! Holding space for your partner’s full spectrum of emotions— not just the comfortable, easy emotions. Sharing your feelings (i.e. “I’ve been feeling _______ recently. I don’t want you to hear it as blame but more me wanting to trust you with my inner world”). Having consideration for your partner’s needs + desires— making their happiness just as important as your own. Receiving your partner’s bids for connection + attention rather than turning away from them (Bids for attention are attempts to connect with our partner when we are seeking attention, affirmation, or affection). Most importantly, ask yourself if you have a connection with yourself + then with your partner. More often than not, we feel lonely in our relationship because the mirror is reflecting our loneliness within ourselves. We’ve just been looking for connection through someone else when we needed to go within.
  • 233 4 6 hours ago

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  • 2 1 1 minute ago
  • What does infidelity have to do with money management? Are you sneaking around on your spouse with your money or purchases? Do you lie to your spouse about money? Does your spouse know about all of your debts? Is gambling a secret that you keep from your spouse? All of these are signs of financial infidelity. Signs that you are “cheating” financially on your spouse!
  • What does infidelity have to do with money management? Are you sneaking around on your spouse with your money or purchases? Do you lie to your spouse about money? Does your spouse know about all of your debts? Is gambling a secret that you keep from your spouse? All of these are signs of financial infidelity. Signs that you are “cheating” financially on your spouse!
  • 6 1 1 hour ago
  • To write a comprehensive guide on how to navigate the treacherous waters of adultery, I realize that all options have to be researched. For example, I did not attempt reconciliation, so I can't write on the possible pitfalls that may occur until I have more data to work with.

It would also be prudent to understand the perspective of different people affected by adultery. Whether it be the children, spouse, parents or even employers. 
If you would like to assist me by sharing your story, I would greatly appreciate it. The information will be used to determine behavioral patterns that occur. This is a sensitive topic and the information will be confidential. We can discuss this in any format that's appropriate for you viz. email, whatsapp, telephonically, skype etc.

DM me and we'll take it from there.

#divorce #marriagecounseling #adultery #cheating #cheaters #infidelity #unfaithful #divorcedmom  #divorcedparents #divorceddad #divorcedparents #divorcedwomen #divorcedsingles #divorcedlife #divorcedandhappy
  • To write a comprehensive guide on how to navigate the treacherous waters of adultery, I realize that all options have to be researched. For example, I did not attempt reconciliation, so I can't write on the possible pitfalls that may occur until I have more data to work with.

    It would also be prudent to understand the perspective of different people affected by adultery. Whether it be the children, spouse, parents or even employers.
    If you would like to assist me by sharing your story, I would greatly appreciate it. The information will be used to determine behavioral patterns that occur. This is a sensitive topic and the information will be confidential. We can discuss this in any format that's appropriate for you viz. email, whatsapp, telephonically, skype etc.

    DM me and we'll take it from there.

    #divorce #marriagecounseling #adultery #cheating #cheaters #infidelity #unfaithful #divorcedmom #divorcedparents #divorceddad #divorcedparents #divorcedwomen #divorcedsingles #divorcedlife #divorcedandhappy
  • 3 0 4 hours ago
  • We feel lonely when we’ve lost connection with our partner Or maybe we sensed the loneliness before the relationship + expected someone to take away our aloneness. Not feeling seen or heard in a relationship contributes to a feeling of loneliness despite the physical presence of another. It’s a miserable feeling. It’s a feeling of emptiness. You feel invisible & unimportant in the very relationship that you need to feel heard, seen + understood. 
So what does connection look like? 
Being vulnerable with your partner. Looking into your partner’s eyes when talking to one another. Not comparing your relationship to others on social media! Holding space for your partner’s full spectrum of emotions— not just the comfortable, easy emotions. Sharing your feelings (i.e. “I’ve been feeling _______ recently. I don’t want you to hear it as blame but more me wanting to trust you with my inner world”). Having consideration for your partner’s needs + desires— making their happiness just as important as your own. Receiving your partner’s bids for connection + attention rather than turning away from them (Bids for attention are attempts to connect with our partner when we are seeking attention, affirmation, or affection). Most importantly, ask yourself if you have a connection with yourself + then with your partner. More often than not, we feel lonely in our relationship because the mirror is reflecting our loneliness within ourselves. We’ve just been looking for connection through someone else when we needed to go within.
  • We feel lonely when we’ve lost connection with our partner Or maybe we sensed the loneliness before the relationship + expected someone to take away our aloneness. Not feeling seen or heard in a relationship contributes to a feeling of loneliness despite the physical presence of another. It’s a miserable feeling. It’s a feeling of emptiness. You feel invisible & unimportant in the very relationship that you need to feel heard, seen + understood.
    So what does connection look like?
    Being vulnerable with your partner. Looking into your partner’s eyes when talking to one another. Not comparing your relationship to others on social media! Holding space for your partner’s full spectrum of emotions— not just the comfortable, easy emotions. Sharing your feelings (i.e. “I’ve been feeling _______ recently. I don’t want you to hear it as blame but more me wanting to trust you with my inner world”). Having consideration for your partner’s needs + desires— making their happiness just as important as your own. Receiving your partner’s bids for connection + attention rather than turning away from them (Bids for attention are attempts to connect with our partner when we are seeking attention, affirmation, or affection). Most importantly, ask yourself if you have a connection with yourself + then with your partner. More often than not, we feel lonely in our relationship because the mirror is reflecting our loneliness within ourselves. We’ve just been looking for connection through someone else when we needed to go within.
  • 233 4 6 hours ago
  • 10 1 7 hours ago
  • Meet my new friend 📷 
Gosh I have amazing people in my life.

THANK YOU!
For all of the birthday love, and for this badfriggenass camera. 🥰
  • Meet my new friend 📷
    Gosh I have amazing people in my life.

    THANK YOU!
    For all of the birthday love, and for this badfriggenass camera. 🥰
  • 45 1 8 hours ago
  • ✨
How about you?
✨

  • How about you?
  • 15 7 9 hours ago
  • @sette10 has always been quick to ask me if I've articulated my needs or if the person knows what I'm upset about. Sometimes we assume that other people know what our needs and boundaries are. It's an unfair assumption because we all have a different views and experiences. Make sure that you're respectfully expressing what you feel, rather than assume that other people know. Drop a 👏 if you're working on this! .
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You can order my books from Amazon.com. link in bio!
  • @sette10 has always been quick to ask me if I've articulated my needs or if the person knows what I'm upset about. Sometimes we assume that other people know what our needs and boundaries are. It's an unfair assumption because we all have a different views and experiences. Make sure that you're respectfully expressing what you feel, rather than assume that other people know. Drop a 👏 if you're working on this! .
    .
    .
    You can order my books from Amazon.com. link in bio!
  • 67 6 9 hours ago
  • Comment YES!  if you are intrigued 😊
  • Comment YES! if you are intrigued 😊
  • 9 2 10 hours ago
  • 190 3 11 hours ago
  • Celebration time..with my girls!
I'm single now!!#divorcedmom
  • Celebration time..with my girls!
    I'm single now!! #divorcedmom
  • 5 2 11 hours ago
  • This is my all time favorite definition of #love ! What’s yours?

Much Love,

Cassandra Solano
  • This is my all time favorite definition of #love ! What’s yours?

    Much Love,

    Cassandra Solano
  • 28 2 11 hours ago
  • There will always be someone that doesn’t like you. Always someone that thinks they are better than you. Always someone that wants to act smarter than you. Do NOT dim your light for ANYONE. Do NOT ever apologize for being YOU. This little light of mine? I’m gonna let it SHINE 🎶
  • There will always be someone that doesn’t like you. Always someone that thinks they are better than you. Always someone that wants to act smarter than you. Do NOT dim your light for ANYONE. Do NOT ever apologize for being YOU. This little light of mine? I’m gonna let it SHINE 🎶
  • 30 5 12 hours ago
  • ✨On the Blog✨ There is a difference between being lonely and being alone. This is literally your time now to learn, grow, change, let loose and safely have a ball! You need not sit on the couch and watch life pass you by wondering if you’ll smile again, my sister, YOU WILL!! Read more on the blog by clicking the link in my bio!.
-
Click the link in my bio to sign up for my free email list and receive a free download! I also send out biweekly emails with resources, tools and motivation to help you successfully rebuild, transform and reclaim your power when starting over!
  • ✨On the Blog✨ There is a difference between being lonely and being alone. This is literally your time now to learn, grow, change, let loose and safely have a ball! You need not sit on the couch and watch life pass you by wondering if you’ll smile again, my sister, YOU WILL!! Read more on the blog by clicking the link in my bio!.
    -
    Click the link in my bio to sign up for my free email list and receive a free download! I also send out biweekly emails with resources, tools and motivation to help you successfully rebuild, transform and reclaim your power when starting over!
  • 43 1 13 hours ago
  • You see what you want, take the steps to get it and now your mom is doing the same. When our mindsets shift, our daily habits shift we also cause a shift in the mindsets and daily habits of those directly related to us. My mama got all kind of goals I never knew she had. Now she see's whats possible. When I talk about my goals we talk about her goals. And I'm gonna do everything in my power to see that she can accomplish hers too. .
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  • You see what you want, take the steps to get it and now your mom is doing the same. When our mindsets shift, our daily habits shift we also cause a shift in the mindsets and daily habits of those directly related to us. My mama got all kind of goals I never knew she had. Now she see's whats possible. When I talk about my goals we talk about her goals. And I'm gonna do everything in my power to see that she can accomplish hers too. .
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  • 42 2 13 hours ago