Did you know 1 in 5 high school students experience dating violence? Despite physical violence being the most frequent association with teen dating, teens in intimate relationships are actually much more likely to experience emotional or psychological abuse, such as gaslighting. Have you seen these behaviors in your own relationships or those around you? Share with a teen to help educate them on the warning signs of an emotionally abusive relationship.⠀
🎨 via @introvertdoodles
7,3116611 February, 2020
Next up on #aastewspotlight 🔎🔎🔎 @flying_empress
Everyone has a story...won’t you share yours? —- “June 26, 1998 was the first time I had ever stepped foot on American soil from Jamaica, by the way of American Airlines. I never thought for a million years I would be employed by the airline who took me to start a new life. Fast forward to 2013, that year brought me more pain and terror than any nightmare that had ever scared me awake from the depths of my sleep. My divorce was all very real. My instincts drove me to grab my 4-year-old at the time and run. To anywhere, to nowhere, just somewhere other than the tragedy I lived in every day. I just needed a way out; away from the trauma of the lies, deceit, infidelity, and abuse. At the time, “away” was a very literal remedy. I applied for every travel related job I could find. I jumped at the first opportunity from the first airline that caught my attention. No one told me how my lifestyle would change, and boy did it change forever.
I remember not really telling anyone of my application to be a flight attendant. I passed all preliminaries, my divorce was final in 2014, and a training date in tow. I left my then 5-year-old and went to Dallas. I got my employee number and the last 3 digits were 876 which is the area code phone number for Jamaica, my origin, and I knew right then, this was where I was supposed to be. Becoming a Flight Attendant saved my life. I was an unsure 25-year-old woman, mother, friend, co-worker but I knew I could always escape my reality. Upon graduation, I have travelled and seen so many countries, met so many amazing friends and now almost 6 years later, I am still in love with aviation.
Within those 6 years, this profession has changed me for the better but also made me aware that I had to face the music I ran from. I was my first case subject. My own mental health was on the rocks. Getting settled into my new career in aviation as a flight attendant, I quickly noticed the downward trajectory of my emotional and mental health. This revelation prompted me to start a Facebook group called @th.air.apy. I was terrified.
Cont... in comments
1,0744416 February, 2020
"We can't afford to not be talking about domestic violence." New York Times⠀
TERRY’S BOOK CLUB:⠀
NO VISIBLE BRUISES by RACHEL LOUISE SNYDER⠀
⠀ @rlswrites an incredible book on what defines domestic violence, and how it is often hidden or misnomered in far more heinous crimes. I can say that this should be required reading for every man or young boy in the world. I discovered many things about myself by reading this book — and I was shocked to find I was much more violent than I perceived myself to be. A true game changer.
Tomorrow I start my last semester of law school. It has been 4 years. FOUR YEARS of law school while working a full time job and being a full time single mom. There have been days where all I could do was weep. God opened this door, and He has carried me the whole way.
The average school calendar is 180 days. Throw in 3 rounds of summer school and you’ve got over 720 days where I worked 8-5pm, and went to school 5:30- 9pm. That’s not a brag. That’s fact. I was told by someone that going to law school was not impressive. My ex-husband said that being an attorney doesn’t mean anything. Someone else said, “Yeah but now you gotta pass the bar.” And to all of those people collectively I say get a good look at my face...because once I cross that stage all you will EVER be able to do is get a glimpse of these red bottoms walking towards all the places you don’t think I deserve to be.
I have no tears left. I have destiny in my crosshairs. And I will not miss.
161356 January, 2020
TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic Violence
A home is not always a safe place.
For some people like Jane*, her home was where she felt powerless, where she was subjected to domestic violence since she was a child: “I hope that my story will shine light on the prevalence of domestic violence and give hope and voice to victims like myself. Not everyone has the same start in life, but you have the control to choose your path.” *Not her real name.
#oplusbyogs | Follow @_o.plus for behind-the-scenes, process videos and what our animation team is up to!
8,8516129 January, 2020
Trauma takes from us more than a moment in time. ✨
All too often it robs us of the past, the present and even sometimes our future. ✨
I know what it’s like to find yourself in a highly traumatic situation and despite putting your best resources and efforts into finding your way still being stuck for years. ✨
For me it could have been much longer if gave up and gave in which I felt like doing more times than I can remember.
Trauma takes so much from us. It erodes who we thought we were, it strips us of our certainty in life and human nature, and destroys the life we thought we were going to have.
But somehow, here we are, still standing. ✨
We know, without a doubt, that the cycle of trauma and abuse that threatened to sink us stops here. ✨
It will not permeate the future anymore, the twisted cycle of paying it forward ends now, it will not be passed on or down. It was not acceptable then and certainly not acceptable now.
We are given internal and unconscious defense mechanisms to survive the trauma and we are given the unconscious and internal resources to heal.
It’s time to move on and create an even brighter present and future.
Projection is a defence mechanism common amongst NPD and BPD diagnoses. I have experienced this first hand for some time now; I didn’t understand it for what it was until very recently, but once it was pointed out to me, it became painfully obvious. It protects the brain from shattered ego and allows the projector to remove all responsibility from themselves, avoiding the painful realities of shame and guilt that most of us are familiar with. It is a childish defence and when used by adults indicates a poorly developed emotional fortitude, central to those diagnoses. I ask you, as the people who peruse these hashtags regularity, what are the odds that you are in fact interacting with the abusers? How can you be certain that the person you’re interacting with is indeed describing a reality that you would agree with should you have experienced it along side that person? I can tell you that at least one person here is as I describe... I lived that reality with this person. Give it some thought. Things aren’t always as they seem. #narcissisticabuse#narcissisticabusesurvivor#narcissist#isurvivedanarcissist#bpd#bpdawareness#thenarrativediesnow#controlthenarrative#castlecrumbles#cptsdsurvivor#isurvivedasociopath#survivingapsychopath#domesticviolencesurvivor
Seven out of eight domestic violence survivors return to their abusers—largely due to financial pressure. @shinefoundation is working on changing that. Find out how you can help via the link in our bio.
Well I haven't been doing so well on eating healthy food and working out. I've been stressing out about some things that are beyond my control. I need to get my head back in the game and just let things go. Got my first workout in since last Monday. It felt great and I got to clear my mind of everything else. When you get into a little slump you forget how great you feel when you're seeing progress from your workouts and the impact you have on other's. I was messaged by someone yesterday telling that I'm an inspiration to them and to keep up the work. This conversation made my whole day, week , month. So I'm back and I'm going to keep my head in the game. Bc if I can inspire one person that actually messages me. What am I doing for people who are too shy to say anything. So for the person who messaged me yesterday thank you. Bc you have no idea how much you helped me get out of my slump.
A few of the names I was called, when men wanted me to be small. Smaller than I already was from the crushed dreams I already had, but didn’t even know.
She should be a teacher. Yeah, of kindergarten or preschool. She’s perfect for that, she’s so friendly and loves kids…
𝘈 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘳? 𝘏𝘢𝘩!
𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦.
A few more names I was called, when men wanted me to be small. Smaller than I already was when I realized I couldn’t even afford an abortion, I’d have to keep the baby, I’ll probably be kicked out, I’ll be homeless but… I’ll find a shelter for me and my baby.
𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵.
More names I was called, when men wanted me to be small. Smaller than I already was from the punches, the choking, the suffocating, the telling of how my body would be buried in a shallow grave in the middle of a field only sprinkled with dirt so the police could find my worthless body.
𝘞𝘰𝘸, 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘥𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵.
How quickly he crumbled.
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐲 𝐈 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞.” - SG #feminist#feministquotes#domesticviolencesurvivor#feministaf#feminismisforeverybody#writer#femalewriters#sexism#everydaysexism
A good portion of the time your abuser has been abused. Mine was. And he used to complain about how he and his mom and sisters were treated and yet he treated me the same way. Just because someone grows up in an abusive situation doesn’t mean they now have the right to abuse you. They have the ability to break the cycle. They choose not to I’d they are abusing you and treating you badly. There is no excuse for #domesticviolence . There comes a time when the #abuser needs to grow up and take responsibility for their actions and change the way they are doing things. Instead they hide behind their past and use it to fuel their continued anger. Know that you deserve better. Know that there is more out there. Know that there is help for you. #domesticabuse#domesticviolenceawareness#domesticviolencesurvivor#survivor#beautyforashes#thisismystory#findingkc
My last day as a 32 year old 😜 I’ve made my list of things to accomplish this next year and I look forward to see what 33 has to offer!! Hopefully it’s a whole year drama free 🙏🏻 Thankful for the experiences and memories made last year and hopeful for the future!! #building2rebuild
Cuz it’s about inevitable they’re gonna abuse you if they haven’t worked on their own healing. I don’t want no man whose parent(s) whooped him. Who witnessed his mother being physically/sexually, emotionally, or psychologically abused. Who was directly physically/sexually, emotionally, or psychologically abused. UNLESS he has done extensive work with professionals on healing that shit and learning how to break that toxic ass cycle.
In the future, childhood traumas finna be a first date topic, and I will walk at the smallest sign of unhealed trauma. I’ve dealt with this shit too much and been the victim of abuse because of it. I’m sick of these dudes that think it’s fucking normal how they were raised with abuse, and therefore think their abusive behavior toward me is normal. They think it’s so normal they can’t even fix their mouths to say the word “abuse”.
1025 hours ago
Learning that with major moves that will move nations....comes major obstacles that i have to overcome. I accepted the challenge the day i decided to become the change i didnt see while facing my storms. The time is near and i have the opportunity to take on all the agencies and organizations that have failed so many victims of violence. And losing is not an option #domesticviolencesurvivor #isurvivedmyscars #icametowin #WAPW #No1DiesinfromDV2020andbeyond
PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION LINK AT YHE BOTTOM 🦋 💔💔💔 “ On Tuesday, Nicole “Nikki” Addimando was sentenced to 19 years to life in prison for killing her abuser in self-defense. Judge Edward McLoughlin chose not to take into account the years of life threatening physical and sexual abuse, which was documented in official police reports and medical records. He denied applying the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act for a lesser sentence. Despite her abuser’s multiple threats to end her and her children’s life if she fled, Judge McLoughlin felt Nikki “could’ve safely left.” We sat in on the sentencing and listened to Nikki give a powerful, personal statement: “I wish more than anything it ended another way. I wouldn’t be in this courtroom right now, but I wouldn’t be alive either. This is why women don’t leave. They so often end up dead or where I’m standing — alive, but not free.” Credit to Daniel Nelson.
Thank you for helping us help people and their pets reach safety from domestic violence together. 💜
11217 hours ago
The only truth is that they will never tell the truth 🤯
These conundrums are a big part of the confusion and crazy making. You see a villain, they play victim and even more outrageously, the hero.
Every time I got discarded he made it sound like he was saving me, from him. To later come back with pity plays and playing the victim, a matter of time before the raging villain came to stage again.
Always bending the truth.
I'm sure he is still telling these story, including to himself. Otherwise how can you live with yourself?
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▪️Join us on our healing journey and spreading awareness together about narcissistic abuse.
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I’m still enjoying the hot sun, actually, I have never been this brown in many many years… I like :). You might see the following piece of writing with offence, but today I really don’t care. I think it needs to be unpackaged and addressed, this can be happening with you whether you are white, black, coloured, Indian, a wolf, a lion or a fox… but right now I use Indians because they seem to be the tribe that I used to be around a lot, after all I was born in this tight-knit Indian community. Some things like the below really needs to die, I think it’s about time. My ears are sore from it…
I’ll tell you what, aren’t you sick of the fake world? You know when people say, I know so and so for sooo many years, he’s like a son to me and he sees me as his father or this one, this one gets me the most; we know each other for donkey’s years, this guy, ya, this guy he is my best friend (as they do the buddy greeting), eish we had so many good times together. It’s all good to have fun and have drinks over it right? As long as you’re not buying all the rounds over and over again. The more people that gather and drink alcohol together think it’s fun to have more people drinking with them and they drink more and more… Majority of the shabeens and bar staff (even owners of these places) don’t care about calling it quits to serving drinks to someone who can’t stand straight anymore and worse to someone who is super drunk and still can drive themselves home. They want money, they don’t care about people.
You know when I can see a person spiralling downwards, it really makes me sick to the stomach that someone is telling their immediate soul family that they take them as their son. I don’t think so, you won’t let you son spiral downwards, and you won’t allow him to reach so far down the spiral just like that... To continue reading, check out the full article on my website...
A week left of sunshine ☀️🇵🇹 and van life before returning to the UK 🇬🇧✨ to start working with the funding that @unltduk have granted to help launch @livingliberte as a social enterprise!
I’m still absorbing the news, weeks after finding out. I was thrilled in the first few days, then a little scared (more than a little) and now I feel fully ready to throw my plans into change-making action.
I think if I didn’t feel this strongly then I wouldn’t be in the right place - it’s those ‘big’ ideas that seem the scariest. But they’re often the best ones!
Whatever it is that makes you feel the happiest (and occasionally a little wobbly) just go for it. Every adventure is a lesson, for better or worse.
During Mercury Retrograde, I’m only taking clients today through Thursday 2/20, Tuesday 2/25, and not again until 3/4. I have to get prepared to testify in the case with my ex so I don’t go out of my mind with PTSD.
I am a source for this article in part due to the fact that I was one of the few people willing to talk about my experience and also in part due to the severity of what I experienced. My ex is convicted of torturing me and as the attending ER physician said at trial, I was the most bruised person he had ever seen who was still alive. Usually, they were dead.
The bruises were shocking to EVERYONE because they literally covered my body from my head to my feet, from front to back, no part of my body was untouched by bruises, lacerations, and strangulation. The thing that shocked me into running though wasn’t my body it was the threats against my family and friends. I couldn’t have that, they couldn’t pay for my mistakes, I couldn’t have them be hunted down and hurt, and I knew he was capable of doing it because he did it to me.
It took me years of deprogramming what he had put into my head and what I had accepted, to realize that I didn’t deserve to be hurt either.
If you want to support me right now, respect my schedule and respect my space. Book your appointment now for this time period. I really don’t want to get DMs about how you need an appointment and can I fit you in because it’s Mercury Retrograde and your shit’s hit the fan; I’ve told you my schedule and you should have planned better to frontload the work so your shit DOESN’T hit the fan.
If you want to support me, support my work. I need money to support what I need to do to get ready but I also need to be of service that’s who I am and what I do. Book your appointment, refer people to me, tip me out if you appreciate my content or if you’ve been a client and appreciate how your life has changed.
I know I’ve got this - the thought had occurred to me since I’m a motherfucking G in all worlds that I can handle this. It doesn’t change the fear and terror and loss of control of my body and mind because of PTSD. Help me help you and respect my requests. Thank you ✌🏽💛💋