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emotionalabuse - 205k posts

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  • 💭G A S L I G H T I N G
[in intimate relationships]
Part 3 | Myth Busting
🔮Maybe They’re Right. I Am Being Too [Insert Word Of The Thing They’re Telling You You Are ‘Too Much’ Of But You Actually Aren’t]
🍂The goal is to keep us busy defending ourselves. Gaslighters typically seek out highly empathetic people. While we’re trying to understand their claims that we’re manipulative/sensitive etc. we don’t have enough time or the  E N E R G Y  to pay attention to the Gaslighter’s behavior
——
🔮If I Just Have Patience, They’ll Stop
🍂Gaslighters need empathy/understanding to thrive. They may make us feel a change in our behavior is the answer. As time passes, they need it in greater quantities. The line where we’re ‘good enough’ is continuously pushed- never quite within our reach, at least not for very long.
A persons behavior changes because of a choice they make. No change we make will allow that to happen. We are not responsible for their behavior or their choice
——
🔮They Always Know They’re Gaslighting
🍂Gaslighters do not typically self reflect or have a strong capacity for empathy. When asked if it’s possible that an emotional abuser is unaware of the abusive nature of their behavior, a mentor of mine once said, ‘Sure it is. Aren’t we often unaware we’re the victims of it?’. 😳🎤🖐🏼
Gaslighters do not typically view their behavior as abusive or controlling;  it’s ‘necessary’ + ‘loving’, + ‘helpful’.
——
🔮I Would Never/Cant Believe I Let This Happen To Me
🍂This is the ‘evil genius’ behind gaslighting. Nobody falls for an emotional abuser- that’s not who they show up as. If they had, it would have been a very simple ‘Bye-Bye’ after one sip of the flat-white. It’s insidious. It happens incredibly slowly + this isn’t something we ‘let’ happen. Seeing + hoping for the good in people is an astounding quality + not something to be faulted. Unfortunately, there are those who will target this, + use it for their own agenda
~
💌Art by the magical @nataliebyrne
💡Last part in this series tomorrow
🌱What We Can Do + What To Expect
  • 💭G A S L I G H T I N G
    [in intimate relationships]
    Part 3 | Myth Busting
    🔮Maybe They’re Right. I Am Being Too [Insert Word Of The Thing They’re Telling You You Are ‘Too Much’ Of But You Actually Aren’t]
    🍂The goal is to keep us busy defending ourselves. Gaslighters typically seek out highly empathetic people. While we’re trying to understand their claims that we’re manipulative/sensitive etc. we don’t have enough time or the E N E R G Y to pay attention to the Gaslighter’s behavior
    ——
    🔮If I Just Have Patience, They’ll Stop
    🍂Gaslighters need empathy/understanding to thrive. They may make us feel a change in our behavior is the answer. As time passes, they need it in greater quantities. The line where we’re ‘good enough’ is continuously pushed- never quite within our reach, at least not for very long.
    A persons behavior changes because of a choice they make. No change we make will allow that to happen. We are not responsible for their behavior or their choice
    ——
    🔮They Always Know They’re Gaslighting
    🍂Gaslighters do not typically self reflect or have a strong capacity for empathy. When asked if it’s possible that an emotional abuser is unaware of the abusive nature of their behavior, a mentor of mine once said, ‘Sure it is. Aren’t we often unaware we’re the victims of it?’. 😳🎤🖐🏼
    Gaslighters do not typically view their behavior as abusive or controlling; it’s ‘necessary’ + ‘loving’, + ‘helpful’.
    ——
    🔮I Would Never/Cant Believe I Let This Happen To Me
    🍂This is the ‘evil genius’ behind gaslighting. Nobody falls for an emotional abuser- that’s not who they show up as. If they had, it would have been a very simple ‘Bye-Bye’ after one sip of the flat-white. It’s insidious. It happens incredibly slowly + this isn’t something we ‘let’ happen. Seeing + hoping for the good in people is an astounding quality + not something to be faulted. Unfortunately, there are those who will target this, + use it for their own agenda
    ~
    💌Art by the magical @nataliebyrne
    💡Last part in this series tomorrow
    🌱What We Can Do + What To Expect
  • 1,587 34 14 March, 2019
  • 💭G A S L I G H T I N G
[in intimate relationships]
Part 2.
🌪Gaslighting Lies
A lie is usually done to protect the liar, not hurt the recipient. It is meant to cover up the truth by creating fiction.
The purpose of gaslighting is to make the other person doubt themselves to the point that they cannot rely on their own perspective/experience.
Gaslighting requires lying but lying doesnt require gaslighting
~
🌪Gaslighting Compliments
When we call them out, they sense a change in our demeanor. At that very moment, they will throw out a compliment.
This compliment is designed to make us think maybe they’re okay after all. They may also use ‘love’ as a way to make us feel bad for addressing something.
That they only worry or say things because they ‘love’ us
~
💡Gaslighting Phrases
- Why are you so sensitive!
- You know that’s because you are so [insecure/crazy/jealous/paranoid etc].
- I was just joking!
- You’re making this up
- Why are you making this such a big deal?
- You’re imagining things
- You’re overreacting
- You are always so dramatic
- You know you don’t remember things clearly
- You know you could never live without me. Who would have you?
~
♟The insidious nature of gaslighting is how slow it starts
♟Often times these phrases start as ‘jokes’, but eventually the ‘joke’ wears away + it becomes something sincere, meant to ridicule + undermine✨
💭{Part 3: Gaslighting Myths}
💌Art by the marvelous @rubyetc_
  • 💭G A S L I G H T I N G
    [in intimate relationships]
    Part 2.
    🌪Gaslighting Lies
    A lie is usually done to protect the liar, not hurt the recipient. It is meant to cover up the truth by creating fiction.
    The purpose of gaslighting is to make the other person doubt themselves to the point that they cannot rely on their own perspective/experience.
    Gaslighting requires lying but lying doesnt require gaslighting
    ~
    🌪Gaslighting Compliments
    When we call them out, they sense a change in our demeanor. At that very moment, they will throw out a compliment.
    This compliment is designed to make us think maybe they’re okay after all. They may also use ‘love’ as a way to make us feel bad for addressing something.
    That they only worry or say things because they ‘love’ us
    ~
    💡Gaslighting Phrases
    - Why are you so sensitive!
    - You know that’s because you are so [insecure/crazy/jealous/paranoid etc].
    - I was just joking!
    - You’re making this up
    - Why are you making this such a big deal?
    - You’re imagining things
    - You’re overreacting
    - You are always so dramatic
    - You know you don’t remember things clearly
    - You know you could never live without me. Who would have you?
    ~
    ♟The insidious nature of gaslighting is how slow it starts
    ♟Often times these phrases start as ‘jokes’, but eventually the ‘joke’ wears away + it becomes something sincere, meant to ridicule + undermine✨
    💭{Part 3: Gaslighting Myths}
    💌Art by the marvelous @rubyetc_
  • 2,416 58 12 March, 2019
  • This dance was done at a talent hunt to portray domestic violence

It's amazing when people use their talent to pass a meaningful message to the society

Please watch
  • This dance was done at a talent hunt to portray domestic violence

    It's amazing when people use their talent to pass a meaningful message to the society

    Please watch
  • 4,820 70 15 March, 2019

Latest Instagram Posts

  • The first part of the debate is if narcissists are capable of change. Unfortunately they are not. False hope is often promoted by people with personality disorders or people trapped in the fantasy of codependency.
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The second part of the debate is where the victim or survivor then questions if the person is a narcissist or not. Remove the personality disorder from the equation and focus on people in general. People can change but most choose not to.
  • The first part of the debate is if narcissists are capable of change. Unfortunately they are not. False hope is often promoted by people with personality disorders or people trapped in the fantasy of codependency.
    .
    The second part of the debate is where the victim or survivor then questions if the person is a narcissist or not. Remove the personality disorder from the equation and focus on people in general. People can change but most choose not to.
  • 7 2 2 minutes ago
  • Traits Relatively Favorable for Post-Traumatic Growth
  • Traits Relatively Favorable for Post-Traumatic Growth
  • 1 2 13 minutes ago
  • The Five Domains of Post-Traumatic Growth
  • The Five Domains of Post-Traumatic Growth
  • 0 2 14 minutes ago
  • The Five Domains of Post-Traumatic Growth
  • The Five Domains of Post-Traumatic Growth
  • 0 2 15 minutes ago
  • The Five Domains of Post-Traumatic Growth
  • The Five Domains of Post-Traumatic Growth
  • 8 2 16 minutes ago
  • a quick little thing inspired by the prompt “untouchable.”
  • a quick little thing inspired by the prompt “untouchable.”
  • 11 2 25 minutes ago
  • The tutu will be optional, but becoming self sufficient young men will not. 
I’ve been given the hard, yet amazing opportunity to raise respectful and kind men. Falling prey to emotional abuse in two very foundational relationships with the opposite sex has given me enough insight to know I am not a victim because I am in control. I get ride up to the challenge and raise boys who will know how to treat children, their partners and others with love and respect ✊🏻 Challenge accepted ❤️
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#respect #raisingboys #dishes #tutu #strongmen #emotionalabuse
  • The tutu will be optional, but becoming self sufficient young men will not.
    I’ve been given the hard, yet amazing opportunity to raise respectful and kind men. Falling prey to emotional abuse in two very foundational relationships with the opposite sex has given me enough insight to know I am not a victim because I am in control. I get ride up to the challenge and raise boys who will know how to treat children, their partners and others with love and respect ✊🏻 Challenge accepted ❤️
    .
    .
    .
    #respect #raisingboys #dishes #tutu #strongmen #emotionalabuse
  • 17 0 1 hour ago
  • 💐I feel things deeply. I saw this photo and was in awe at how much I felt connected with the picture. Her facial expression, the colors of the flowers at the end compared to the darker origins. Life is complicated. Life can be disappointing. .
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💐This weekend was hard, these past few months have been hard... I feel things deeply so when something goes awry- it might just take me to an emotional place that feels a bit like this. Like I can open up my chest and the feelings might explode out. Not just the sad feelings... but those feelings that originate in love. Those feelings that would blossom into beautiful flowers if given the chance. They might just be stuck right now. Stuck in a place of fear, rejection, and anger. Fixated on disappointments, expectations, and setbacks. And overcome with worry of what’s next. .
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💐I feel things deeply and I know if I could open my heart and show them how I feel, maybe then they can understand how hard it must be to keep all of that contained.... This beautiful bouquet of love... ❤️
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Via @seekcindyoffical 
Art - Henry Miller 
#migrainessuck #invisibleillness  #chronicmigraine #trustyourjourney
  • 💐I feel things deeply. I saw this photo and was in awe at how much I felt connected with the picture. Her facial expression, the colors of the flowers at the end compared to the darker origins. Life is complicated. Life can be disappointing. .
    .
    💐This weekend was hard, these past few months have been hard... I feel things deeply so when something goes awry- it might just take me to an emotional place that feels a bit like this. Like I can open up my chest and the feelings might explode out. Not just the sad feelings... but those feelings that originate in love. Those feelings that would blossom into beautiful flowers if given the chance. They might just be stuck right now. Stuck in a place of fear, rejection, and anger. Fixated on disappointments, expectations, and setbacks. And overcome with worry of what’s next. .
    .
    💐I feel things deeply and I know if I could open my heart and show them how I feel, maybe then they can understand how hard it must be to keep all of that contained.... This beautiful bouquet of love... ❤️
    .
    .
    Via @seekcindyoffical
    Art - Henry Miller
    #migrainessuck #invisibleillness #chronicmigraine #trustyourjourney
  • 19 2 1 hour ago
  • As a teenager i watched meth destroy my mother into a monster all the way up until the day she died (when i was 17).. Now history is repeating itself with someone else i loved and thought i would spend my life with. Ive watched him turn into an abusive, horrible person who i cant even stand to be around. Being a recovering addict myself (was addicted to pain pills) i tried to be understanding about why people become addicts and how hard it is to stop... But i cant be understanding anymore when it takes away my sanity and gets me abused. But it really does make me wonder why 2 people who were supposed to love and protect me would turn to meth. I dont get it.. Is it me? Do i make life horrible that they need to hide from it? Do they want to hide from me in general? Its all just too much to handle and i feel so lost. 
#methaddicts #addicts #recoveringaddict #depression #anxiety #ifeelsolost #lonely #whatdoido #somebodyhelp #lovinganaddictishard #abuse #emotionalabuse #verbalabuseisstillabuse #mentalabuse
  • As a teenager i watched meth destroy my mother into a monster all the way up until the day she died (when i was 17).. Now history is repeating itself with someone else i loved and thought i would spend my life with. Ive watched him turn into an abusive, horrible person who i cant even stand to be around. Being a recovering addict myself (was addicted to pain pills) i tried to be understanding about why people become addicts and how hard it is to stop... But i cant be understanding anymore when it takes away my sanity and gets me abused. But it really does make me wonder why 2 people who were supposed to love and protect me would turn to meth. I dont get it.. Is it me? Do i make life horrible that they need to hide from it? Do they want to hide from me in general? Its all just too much to handle and i feel so lost.
    #methaddicts #addicts #recoveringaddict #depression #anxiety #ifeelsolost #lonely #whatdoido #somebodyhelp #lovinganaddictishard #abuse #emotionalabuse #verbalabuseisstillabuse #mentalabuse
  • 3 1 1 hour ago
  • Last week, I had a breakdown at uni. During one of our seminars, we were supposed to talk about a book which includes some things similar to what I've been through. In other words, the reasons as to why I have PTSD/C-PTSD.
.
And I just couldn't do it.
.
I had to leave the classroom. I cried in a bathroom stall and when I went back to class thinking my crying was done, it began once again. You know, that gigantic, hysterical sobbing where you don't hear a thing the crying person says through their sobs. That red faced crying with acid tears.
.
When my teacher took me outside the classroom and asked me to tell her what bothered me, I said it:
.
"I have PTSD and it's because of rape and abuse".
.
This is a HUGE step for me. Except from a few friends and the guy I'm seeing, I haven't told anyone afk that I have PTSD. And I don't like crying in public. I've cried on buses a few times but always silently and with my hoodie on. I didn't want anyone to see.
.
But why do we have to hide our sadness? Why do we have to be so strong all the time, and what does strong even mean? Maybe showing other people how vulnerable you really are can be a strong thing, too?
.
And can it not be beautiful to show vulnerability? Can it not, sometimes, make it feel at least a little bit better? To be seen and heard. To have people tell you that your emotions are valid. To know that you, in fact, are not alone. What do you think?
.
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#cptsd #ptsd #trauma #childabusesurvivor #childabusevictim #childabuse #domesticviolence #emotionalviolence #emotionalabuse #domesticviolencesurvivor #rapevictim #metoo #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalillness #hurt #sadness #anxietyattack #panicattack #mentalhealthwarrior #health #fightingptsd #nofilterlife #psynligt #psykiskohälsa
  • Last week, I had a breakdown at uni. During one of our seminars, we were supposed to talk about a book which includes some things similar to what I've been through. In other words, the reasons as to why I have PTSD/C-PTSD.
    .
    And I just couldn't do it.
    .
    I had to leave the classroom. I cried in a bathroom stall and when I went back to class thinking my crying was done, it began once again. You know, that gigantic, hysterical sobbing where you don't hear a thing the crying person says through their sobs. That red faced crying with acid tears.
    .
    When my teacher took me outside the classroom and asked me to tell her what bothered me, I said it:
    .
    "I have PTSD and it's because of rape and abuse".
    .
    This is a HUGE step for me. Except from a few friends and the guy I'm seeing, I haven't told anyone afk that I have PTSD. And I don't like crying in public. I've cried on buses a few times but always silently and with my hoodie on. I didn't want anyone to see.
    .
    But why do we have to hide our sadness? Why do we have to be so strong all the time, and what does strong even mean? Maybe showing other people how vulnerable you really are can be a strong thing, too?
    .
    And can it not be beautiful to show vulnerability? Can it not, sometimes, make it feel at least a little bit better? To be seen and heard. To have people tell you that your emotions are valid. To know that you, in fact, are not alone. What do you think?
    .
    .
    #cptsd #ptsd #trauma #childabusesurvivor #childabusevictim #childabuse #domesticviolence #emotionalviolence #emotionalabuse #domesticviolencesurvivor #rapevictim #metoo #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalillness #hurt #sadness #anxietyattack #panicattack #mentalhealthwarrior #health #fightingptsd #nofilterlife #psynligt #psykiskohälsa
  • 3 0 1 hour ago
  • I wish people understood what I was going through what was going through Amber's mind on a daily basis!! People don't understand that i am not in a good emotional state right now and that I have been fighting and continue to fight to be with 4 beautiful children again!! This isn't easy and I am an emotional wreak!! I just want to be with my kids, I wouldn't even care to breath life if it wasn't for me knowing that I wouldn't be here to watch my kids grow up to be successful adults!! They are the ONLY REASON for my existence!! #domesticviolence #emotionalabuse #depression #keepfighting #staystrong #motherslove #unconditionallove #mybabies
  • I wish people understood what I was going through what was going through Amber's mind on a daily basis!! People don't understand that i am not in a good emotional state right now and that I have been fighting and continue to fight to be with 4 beautiful children again!! This isn't easy and I am an emotional wreak!! I just want to be with my kids, I wouldn't even care to breath life if it wasn't for me knowing that I wouldn't be here to watch my kids grow up to be successful adults!! They are the ONLY REASON for my existence!! #domesticviolence #emotionalabuse #depression #keepfighting #staystrong #motherslove #unconditionallove #mybabies
  • 8 3 2 hours ago
  • De laatste tijd begeleid ik steeds vaker volwassenen die slachtoffer zijn geworden van emotioneel misbruik. Vaak zijn dergelijke volwassenen in aanraking gekomen met mensen die kampen met een persoonlijkheidsstoornis die valt onder cluster B van de DSM (handboek met opsomming van mentale 'stoornissen'). De meest bekende persoonlijkheidsstoornis uit cluster B is narcisme
.
Opgroeien, leven, werken met iemand die (zware) tekenen van narcisme vertoont, is erg pijnlijk. Zo'n persoonlijkheden missen namelijk een gezonde vorm van empathie. Zelfreflectie is hen vreemd. Het is extra pijnlijk wanneer we te maken hebben met verborgen narcisme. Bij deze vorm is vaak niet aan de buitenkant te zien dat het gedrag van de persoon in kwestie toxisch is. Dat kan ontzettend pijnlijk zijn. Vaak worden slachtoffers van verborgen narcisme niet geloofd, niet serieus genomen. En dit terwijl de verborgen narcist ontzettend diepe psychische wonden kan slaan bij het slachtoffer.
.
Vaak zijn de geslagen wonden zo diep dat slachtoffers in een burn-out terecht komen, c-ptss (complexe post-traumatische stresstoornis) ontwikkelen, chronisch vermoeid worden, fysiek ziek worden. Wat vaak terug komt, is dat slachtoffers van verborgen narcisme gaan twijfelen aan zichzelf. Twijfelen of ze niet overdrijven, twijfelen of er iets mis is met hen, en... twijfelen of ze zelf narcistisch zijn.
.
Afgelopen zaterdag was ik op een workshop omtrent narcisme. Ook daar viel het me op dat een aantal slachtoffers aan zichzelf twijfelden of ze al dan niet narcistisch zijn. Wel, iedereen heeft een beetje narcisme in zich. Een kleine, gezonde dosis narcisme is ok. Dat betekent echter niet dat je een 'narcist bent'. Toxisch narcisme is van een hele andere orde. Verwarring kan ontstaan wanneer slachtoffers van narcistisch misbruik zo moe getergd zijn dat hun emotieregulatie overhoop ligt, dat ze hun emoties niet meer kunnen beheersen, dat ze woede-aanvallen krijgen. Dit kan symptoom zijn van NVS (Narcissistic Victime Syndrome).
.
Als je zo hard twijfelt of je narcistisch bent, als je zo goed kan zelfreflecteren, hoef je je geen zorgen te maken. Je bent een mooi, empathisch, waardevol persoon ❤
  • De laatste tijd begeleid ik steeds vaker volwassenen die slachtoffer zijn geworden van emotioneel misbruik. Vaak zijn dergelijke volwassenen in aanraking gekomen met mensen die kampen met een persoonlijkheidsstoornis die valt onder cluster B van de DSM (handboek met opsomming van mentale 'stoornissen'). De meest bekende persoonlijkheidsstoornis uit cluster B is narcisme
    .
    Opgroeien, leven, werken met iemand die (zware) tekenen van narcisme vertoont, is erg pijnlijk. Zo'n persoonlijkheden missen namelijk een gezonde vorm van empathie. Zelfreflectie is hen vreemd. Het is extra pijnlijk wanneer we te maken hebben met verborgen narcisme. Bij deze vorm is vaak niet aan de buitenkant te zien dat het gedrag van de persoon in kwestie toxisch is. Dat kan ontzettend pijnlijk zijn. Vaak worden slachtoffers van verborgen narcisme niet geloofd, niet serieus genomen. En dit terwijl de verborgen narcist ontzettend diepe psychische wonden kan slaan bij het slachtoffer.
    .
    Vaak zijn de geslagen wonden zo diep dat slachtoffers in een burn-out terecht komen, c-ptss (complexe post-traumatische stresstoornis) ontwikkelen, chronisch vermoeid worden, fysiek ziek worden. Wat vaak terug komt, is dat slachtoffers van verborgen narcisme gaan twijfelen aan zichzelf. Twijfelen of ze niet overdrijven, twijfelen of er iets mis is met hen, en... twijfelen of ze zelf narcistisch zijn.
    .
    Afgelopen zaterdag was ik op een workshop omtrent narcisme. Ook daar viel het me op dat een aantal slachtoffers aan zichzelf twijfelden of ze al dan niet narcistisch zijn. Wel, iedereen heeft een beetje narcisme in zich. Een kleine, gezonde dosis narcisme is ok. Dat betekent echter niet dat je een 'narcist bent'. Toxisch narcisme is van een hele andere orde. Verwarring kan ontstaan wanneer slachtoffers van narcistisch misbruik zo moe getergd zijn dat hun emotieregulatie overhoop ligt, dat ze hun emoties niet meer kunnen beheersen, dat ze woede-aanvallen krijgen. Dit kan symptoom zijn van NVS (Narcissistic Victime Syndrome).
    .
    Als je zo hard twijfelt of je narcistisch bent, als je zo goed kan zelfreflecteren, hoef je je geen zorgen te maken. Je bent een mooi, empathisch, waardevol persoon ❤
  • 31 8 2 hours ago
  • Anger. How to deal with build up frustration, hurt, sadness and dissapointment? How to keep your head cool when somebody continously disrespects you and your boundaries?

Anger is not easy emotion to deal with and on top of that it is often considered as  destructive and not wanted. The thing with anger is that if it is kept inside and suffocated it can turn into bitterness which burns your core and ultimately manifests as physical illness. 
I never had problems with expressing my anger in consstructive ways before i met this son of a b**** or in other words my dear ex-husband. He keeps pushing and pushing and pushing, until the breaking point. Today has been shitty day, i used almost all of my energy to calm myself down after his 20000 words long verbal vomit. Who can be this disrespectful and vile?! I wrote him back with such a rage that i nearly broke my keyboard. 
Before sending it, i read it once more, it said: Ok. 
And then i went for a run.

Small victory is still a victory ✨💫⭐️ #coparentingwithanarcissist #parallelparenting #eatshityoufuck #burninhell 
#dipshit #lyingscumbag #narcissist #narcopath #sociopath #anger #rage #abusiverelationship #domesticviolencesurvivor 
#emotionalabuse #toxicrelationships #toxicpeople #healing #maybe #someday
  • Anger. How to deal with build up frustration, hurt, sadness and dissapointment? How to keep your head cool when somebody continously disrespects you and your boundaries?

    Anger is not easy emotion to deal with and on top of that it is often considered as destructive and not wanted. The thing with anger is that if it is kept inside and suffocated it can turn into bitterness which burns your core and ultimately manifests as physical illness.
    I never had problems with expressing my anger in consstructive ways before i met this son of a b**** or in other words my dear ex-husband. He keeps pushing and pushing and pushing, until the breaking point. Today has been shitty day, i used almost all of my energy to calm myself down after his 20000 words long verbal vomit. Who can be this disrespectful and vile?! I wrote him back with such a rage that i nearly broke my keyboard.
    Before sending it, i read it once more, it said: Ok.
    And then i went for a run.

    Small victory is still a victory ✨💫⭐️ #coparentingwithanarcissist #parallelparenting #eatshityoufuck #burninhell
    #dipshit #lyingscumbag #narcissist #narcopath #sociopath #anger #rage #abusiverelationship #domesticviolencesurvivor
    #emotionalabuse #toxicrelationships #toxicpeople #healing #maybe #someday
  • 3 0 3 hours ago
  • dear luv ~
.
when parents stop loving their children... or abuse or neglect them for whatever reason, the child doesn’t stop loving the parent. they stop loving themselves. ~ xx M
  • dear luv ~
    .
    when parents stop loving their children... or abuse or neglect them for whatever reason, the child doesn’t stop loving the parent. they stop loving themselves. ~ xx M
  • 20 8 3 hours ago
  • Looking back on a relationship with a Narc like...
  • Looking back on a relationship with a Narc like...
  • 14 1 3 hours ago
  • It’s amazing what a difference a hairbrush, a professional camera, a filter, contouring with makeup, the right lighting, the right angel, and a photographer can make. These photos were taken on the same day and made me feel guilty - as though I wasn’t being real, even though both *are* me. And it’s weird because I never feel that way. We are all, at some point, second guessing ourselves, our decisions, our actions and inactions - sadly, with the most superficial things because they divert our attention from the bigger things that are too traumatic and painful to acknowledge. This avoidance creates guilt that if not dealt with properly, can turn into shame- the kind of shame that will have you convinced you aren’t worthy of a relationship, of a life, and because of that... have to apologize your way through it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
NEW on the blog: I talk about shame vs guilt - how shame manifests, how to murder it, what I’m still ashamed of myself for, how to get out of trauma 🕸 of your childhood, and how to be solid in the knowingness that you are REAL - no matter what you wear, what you do, what you don’t do, what has happened or will happen 💜 Link is in my bio. xo
  • It’s amazing what a difference a hairbrush, a professional camera, a filter, contouring with makeup, the right lighting, the right angel, and a photographer can make. These photos were taken on the same day and made me feel guilty - as though I wasn’t being real, even though both *are* me. And it’s weird because I never feel that way. We are all, at some point, second guessing ourselves, our decisions, our actions and inactions - sadly, with the most superficial things because they divert our attention from the bigger things that are too traumatic and painful to acknowledge. This avoidance creates guilt that if not dealt with properly, can turn into shame- the kind of shame that will have you convinced you aren’t worthy of a relationship, of a life, and because of that... have to apologize your way through it.
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    NEW on the blog: I talk about shame vs guilt - how shame manifests, how to murder it, what I’m still ashamed of myself for, how to get out of trauma 🕸 of your childhood, and how to be solid in the knowingness that you are REAL - no matter what you wear, what you do, what you don’t do, what has happened or will happen 💜 Link is in my bio. xo
  • 1,704 73 5 hours ago
  • Fear
Controls 
You. -
This statement is only true if we let it. Do you ever find yourself in two minds one says “I’m tempted to do this, but if I do then this... then that will... etc...” how often do we find ourselves asking “what if?” Too often. We find a natural pattern within ourlives where we continuously play it save in the hope it will benefit us later on. How Andy times do you find saying “oh thank god I did that?” Yes we do for example I’m glad I didn’t have that last drink or yes I didn’t have that extra portion of chips 🍟 -
But I mean the fact we only ever live in a shadow and hold a dream of being like this one day, I wish I was that, I wish I did this - but never actually get round to doing it. -
Leave that man, drink that drink, see that country, search high & low, find yourself, be mother fucking sassy 💁🏼‍♀️ stay in that night, chill out with that bae, Rock those clothes you always wanted to wear, be whoever the fuck you want to be.
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  • Fear
    Controls
    You. -
    This statement is only true if we let it. Do you ever find yourself in two minds one says “I’m tempted to do this, but if I do then this... then that will... etc...” how often do we find ourselves asking “what if?” Too often. We find a natural pattern within ourlives where we continuously play it save in the hope it will benefit us later on. How Andy times do you find saying “oh thank god I did that?” Yes we do for example I’m glad I didn’t have that last drink or yes I didn’t have that extra portion of chips 🍟 -
    But I mean the fact we only ever live in a shadow and hold a dream of being like this one day, I wish I was that, I wish I did this - but never actually get round to doing it. -
    Leave that man, drink that drink, see that country, search high & low, find yourself, be mother fucking sassy 💁🏼‍♀️ stay in that night, chill out with that bae, Rock those clothes you always wanted to wear, be whoever the fuck you want to be.
    -
  • 11 2 12 hours ago