You may miss him, feel bad for him or make excuses for him. But if you go back to him the only thing you'll miss is the opportunity you had for a better life.
As much as he will cry, plead, beg, promise to never do again... Or threaten to hurt himself or someone else, focus on the reasons you left. 💔 The pain. 💔The fear. 💔The isolation. 💔The threats. 💔The confusion. 💔The instability. 💔The cheating. 💔The lies. 💔 The control. 💔 The jealousy?....💔 YOU?
Do I need to go on?
According to the National Network to End Domestic Violence, #financialabuse occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases, but one study found that 78% of Americans don’t recognize financial abuse as a form of intimate partner abuse.
If you've survived narcissistic abuse you want to make sure your kids don't grow up to abuse or be in abusive relationships themselves. You've done the hard work of finally getting out and getting you and your kids safe. ⠀
Now it's time to work on healing, not just yourself, but your kiddos too.⠀
This month I'm focusing on helping badass mama's make sure their own kids don't become abusers or get into an abusive relationship themselves.⠀
The cycle of abuse ends with you!⠀
P.S. Click on the link in my bio @obtainingblissto to book a free call with me to learn how to ensure your child's future.
We cannot heal when we're stuck in victim mode. This means you need to be willing to move past what happened to you and stop using it as an excuse to stay stuck where you are.
But only you can make that decision.
If you're ready to heal and finally make that change, that shift that gets you to push past what happened to you too actually love living life, we need to chat.
P. S. If you're a survivor of narcissistic abuse and want to make sure your children don't continue the pattern of abuse, we need to talk ASAP! Click the link in my bio @obtainingbliss to book some time with me.
158320 hours ago
Back in 2015 when I took my ex to Court for Domestic Abuse - emotional, financial and sexual, the problem was being able to provide evidence.
With financial abuse I was able to show evidence. With sexual abuse it was the most difficult because, as we know, it’s done behind closed doors.
With emotional or physical abuse there may be witnesses - perhaps neighbors, friends or kids who know or see what’s going on. But the sexual abuse, that’s almost impossible to prove.
In my case the judge said “in my opinion taking everything into consideration and hearing both sides, although there is no evidence, I am more sure than not that the ex wife is telling the truth and that there was sexual abuse throughout your marriage”. It’s hard to come to terms with because we know what happens. But often we can’t prove categorically that it did with tangible evidence or witnesses.
In hindsight I’d say if I had kept a diary of what was going on, or told people, or even gone to my Doctor and told him or my therapist at that time, that would have been sufficient.
The fact is that people experiencing sexual abuse within a marriage are often either naive to the fact that it is a crime, and there is the shame. It’s extremely embarrassing to admit to anyone what’s going on.
If you’re reading this and this is going on please do get help. If you’re not ready to do anything yet, at least keep a log of what’s going on, even in your phone and put a date and time on everything.
In that way when you find the strength to leave you will be able to show some sort of evidence as to what happened, when, how often etc.
It will save you a lot of regrets in the future.
I know I wish I had been told this. #domesticviolence#domesticabuse#finance#financialabuse#emotionalabuse#finance#physicalabuse#sexualabuse#diary#evidence#lawyer#court#judge#proof#challenge#regrets#date#time#financialfreedom#free#help#legal#couplesgoals#love#instagram#vegan#fitness#food#drink#drinks#gym
this heartbreak, this heartache is NOT the end of your life. you will love again. you will be loved again. they didn't take everything away. you still have love in you, within you, around you. you want to love - to love them, but although they are no longer around, you can now channel that love to your heart. return love to sender - you.
You've survived narcissistic abuse and you're finally safe. Now it's time to make sure that abuse doesn't pass on to your kids.
This month I'm focusing on helping badass mama's make sure their own kids don't become abusers or get into an abusive relationship themselves.
The cycle of abuse ends with you!
Click on the link in my bio @obtainingbliss to book a free call with me to see if this is something you should be doing to ensure your child's future.
Here's my latest round of collection letters for my ex husband's self inflicted hospital stay, $2,625 dollars I will eventually be sued for. This will be the second time I've been sued for his medical bills, the first time I had to pay almost 3000 or they would have garnished my paycheck, because of course they have been unable to obtain employment information on him. This is on top of him refusing to pay child support, he was found and charged guilty of this in January. Kids health insurance and karlee's medical bills are paid by me, he has his court ordered share but that's a joke. This is only a snippet of what can actually be shown on paper, and is slim in comparison to the emotional toll it's caused to me and the girls. We're good though, this is in no way a pity post. We have all made it a priority to make this our story of overcoming rather than what has torn us down. I'm not going to sit silently while lies are being spread about me, and as long as my children's father is purposefully evading his responsibilities to or children I will continue to publicize his abuse and neglect. #deadbeatdads#singlemomsrock#thriveafterabuse#loveshouldnthurt#financialabuse#neveragain
3215 March, 2019
Often as codependents we struggle to identify and express how we really feel. This leads to engaging in transactional, rather than direct communication.
Transactional communication is when we’re looking for approval or validation from those we’re communicating with so we alter or deny our true expression to fit our projected need of the other. (if you say this, I’ll say that. If you react this way, I’ll react that way.)
Rather than being kind or considerate as we believe it to be, it is actually manipulative. We are attempting to manipulate the person, the situation, to our need by being untruthful.
As codependents we must find and develop our own well of strength within so that we can take the perceived risk of being truthful in our interactions.
When we practice and learn that truthfulness, ie. direct and clear communication, does not harm us in the way that codependency has led us to believe it will, we can begin to make it our new normal and recover from codependency 💖🙌🏻⚡️ #lovinglyfierce
64315 March, 2019
Thank you to everyone donated to Unsilenced Voices in the past two weeks! The time period to get us in the running for Girl Fund is now over. However, you can still donate and help survivors of domestic abuse thrive!
ACT was awarded 3 years' of funding in 2016 by @ComicRelief to deliver our #MoneyAdvice service to victims of #DomesticAbuse . Over the 3 years, we're targeted to help 2,000 people impacted by financial difficulties as a result of domestic abuse. #FinancialAbuse is an aspect of domestic abuse that has been greatly overlooked, however it is one of the ties that keeps victims locked into their abusers.
As a result of the funding, we're able to break that tie and empower people to take control of their finances as part of taking back control of their lives.
Domestic abuse often has a stereotyped victim - younger female; however, a significant number of victims we support are male and the oldest person we have supported as part of this program of work is an 84 year old female.
Support @ComicRelief#RedNoseDay today and help projects like ours to reach people who need support.