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  • || Healing. ||🌼
2.5 months ago...
.
Depression can be a killer. Killer of it's own sort. It may or may not have a physical impact, but the mental impact is terrible. 
About 1.5 months ago, when I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression, I had already drowned myself. I suffered from insomnia. I used to hardly sleep for 2 hours. When I tried to sleep, memories from 4 months ago would haunt me. And when I used to actually sleep, I slept through all my problems. I had almost cut all contacts from the real world. I used to only go to my College and even skipped my tuition classes. I never met anyone other than my friends at College. I used to not study. Go back home, turn off the lights, lit a cigarette, lie down and listen to all heartbroken and sad songs. I used to cry. When the world was having a slumber's sleep, I used to cry. Sometimes, I would lock myself in the bathroom, and cry; after I was done, I would wash my face and pretend nothing happened. I stopped reading books, listening to good music, baking, and even writing. I was suffering from anhedonia.
 My friends in College, would try to cheer me but the black cloud of sadness always engulfed me. 
I had stopped meeting my school best friends. They would call or text me to meet, but I would just shrug it off. I used to text my college best friend and vent out all my feelings and emotions. And, she, my lord! would listen to each and everything. My other set of friends(not my school best friends), when they saw a change in my behavior, had sort of cut contact with me. Somedays I would die to talk to them. But, they weren't there. Even, I stopped contacting them.
But, now, I'm healing. Slowly. Through medicines and my friends' help, I'm healing. My college and school best friends have been a great source of help and relief. It's their security and love that is compelling me to heal. And, I'm so thankful. I have again started writing.
Fighting with depression or any sort of mental illness is not easy. Sometimes, you have to fight alone and sometimes you get knights in shining armours. I'm healing and one day, I'll be happy and be back to my old-self. And, one day, this sunflower will shine again. 🌻
  • || Healing. ||🌼
    2.5 months ago...
    .
    Depression can be a killer. Killer of it's own sort. It may or may not have a physical impact, but the mental impact is terrible.
    About 1.5 months ago, when I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression, I had already drowned myself. I suffered from insomnia. I used to hardly sleep for 2 hours. When I tried to sleep, memories from 4 months ago would haunt me. And when I used to actually sleep, I slept through all my problems. I had almost cut all contacts from the real world. I used to only go to my College and even skipped my tuition classes. I never met anyone other than my friends at College. I used to not study. Go back home, turn off the lights, lit a cigarette, lie down and listen to all heartbroken and sad songs. I used to cry. When the world was having a slumber's sleep, I used to cry. Sometimes, I would lock myself in the bathroom, and cry; after I was done, I would wash my face and pretend nothing happened. I stopped reading books, listening to good music, baking, and even writing. I was suffering from anhedonia.
    My friends in College, would try to cheer me but the black cloud of sadness always engulfed me.
    I had stopped meeting my school best friends. They would call or text me to meet, but I would just shrug it off. I used to text my college best friend and vent out all my feelings and emotions. And, she, my lord! would listen to each and everything. My other set of friends(not my school best friends), when they saw a change in my behavior, had sort of cut contact with me. Somedays I would die to talk to them. But, they weren't there. Even, I stopped contacting them.
    But, now, I'm healing. Slowly. Through medicines and my friends' help, I'm healing. My college and school best friends have been a great source of help and relief. It's their security and love that is compelling me to heal. And, I'm so thankful. I have again started writing.
    Fighting with depression or any sort of mental illness is not easy. Sometimes, you have to fight alone and sometimes you get knights in shining armours. I'm healing and one day, I'll be happy and be back to my old-self. And, one day, this sunflower will shine again. 🌻
  • 34 3 12 October, 2019