#invisiblewounds Instagram Photos & Videos

invisiblewounds - 7.6k posts

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  • I hope you enjoy your time off from work & spend some time nurturing your soul. #selfcare 💜 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This weekend, while we commemorate the men and women who have made the greatest sacrifice on behalf of the nation’s defense, let us bring awareness to the veterans still here... struggling and living with #PTSD & other trauma induced illnesses. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
While it may be easier to offer to pick up the tab for a uniformed member this weekend, take some time and reach out to the veterans in your life. Just ask them how they’re doing. Offer a listening ear and remind them that they are not alone in their journey. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So many soldiers Airmen, Marines, and Seaman are living with #invisiblewounds  hiding behind toughness and expectations of exponential resiliency. We are people underneath the armor.  We need your support. 🇺🇸
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📸: @irvinoo2 
#camphumphreys
  • I hope you enjoy your time off from work & spend some time nurturing your soul. #selfcare 💜 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    This weekend, while we commemorate the men and women who have made the greatest sacrifice on behalf of the nation’s defense, let us bring awareness to the veterans still here... struggling and living with #PTSD & other trauma induced illnesses. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    While it may be easier to offer to pick up the tab for a uniformed member this weekend, take some time and reach out to the veterans in your life. Just ask them how they’re doing. Offer a listening ear and remind them that they are not alone in their journey. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    So many soldiers Airmen, Marines, and Seaman are living with #invisiblewounds hiding behind toughness and expectations of exponential resiliency. We are people underneath the armor. We need your support. 🇺🇸
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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    📸: @irvinoo2
    #camphumphreys
  • 689 55 25 May, 2019
  • Those sitting with me in grief, not trying to fix, are the best companions.
Several have disappeared, probably out of fear for saying something wrong or not knowing what to ‘do’.
There’s nothing to do but to continue to be a friend.
The kindest thing is to acknowledge our loss and then just be normal. Talk about normal things.
I have a life outside of loss and would still like to share it with people.
Oh, and if I get sad trying to do normal things, just sit there. I’ll wipe my tears and in no time be laughing again about how ridiculously crazy life is.  Comic credit @jangandfox
  • Those sitting with me in grief, not trying to fix, are the best companions.
    Several have disappeared, probably out of fear for saying something wrong or not knowing what to ‘do’.
    There’s nothing to do but to continue to be a friend.
    The kindest thing is to acknowledge our loss and then just be normal. Talk about normal things.
    I have a life outside of loss and would still like to share it with people.
    Oh, and if I get sad trying to do normal things, just sit there. I’ll wipe my tears and in no time be laughing again about how ridiculously crazy life is. Comic credit @jangandfox
  • 314 26 3 November, 2019
  • “Never let your wings be stolen from you” 🧚🏼‍♀️
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Today is #worldsmentalhealthday and my biggest message to everyone is YOU ARE LOVED and your worth is beyond what you believe. You are loved by someone/so many people and don’t ever forget it! At a time in my life, I let my wings be stolen from me and it RUINED my mental health. I’m still growing, but my wings are little damaged, but they are apart of my story and this journey and make me who I am. ❤️
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Today and everyday, be kind. You have NO idea what people are dealing with. Check on your strong friends, check on your funny friends. Just check on everyone you love, remind people you love them just because. You just never know when someone needs it. ❤️
  • “Never let your wings be stolen from you” 🧚🏼‍♀️
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    Today is #worldsmentalhealthday and my biggest message to everyone is YOU ARE LOVED and your worth is beyond what you believe. You are loved by someone/so many people and don’t ever forget it! At a time in my life, I let my wings be stolen from me and it RUINED my mental health. I’m still growing, but my wings are little damaged, but they are apart of my story and this journey and make me who I am. ❤️
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    Today and everyday, be kind. You have NO idea what people are dealing with. Check on your strong friends, check on your funny friends. Just check on everyone you love, remind people you love them just because. You just never know when someone needs it. ❤️
  • 122 5 10 October, 2019
  • Hi frens!  It’s your friendly neighborhood Monte and my brother “the” Chepito here with a quick PSA about the sky booms that are going to happen tonight! 🎆⁣
❤️🇺🇸 💙⁣
While we are excited to celebrate the Fourth of July, it’s important to recognize that not everyone is as excited for the holiday. ⁣
💙🇺🇸❤️⁣
The loud noises, crowds, or other elements of celebration that may seem like a normal part of the holiday can have potentially triggering effects for some suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a condition of trauma that affects a significant number of combat veterans, along with numbers untold others who have survived other forms of trauma, such as sexual assault or domestic abuse.⁣
❤️🇺🇸💙⁣
“While compassion and courtesy for veterans on this holiday celebrating freedom is absolutely important, it is also important to remember that many people with PTSD have not seen battle. Hypervigilance and a strong reaction to loud noises are common in many cases of PTSD. Just because your neighborhood doesn’t have any military veterans does not mean you don’t have a neighbor with PTSD. Consider how much you don’t know about other people’s lives before getting crazy with the bottle rockets.” ⁣
💙🇺🇸❤️⁣
Ways to help those in your life who may be suffering on the 4th: ⁣
https://themighty.com/2017/07/veterans-fireworks-ptsd-help/⁣
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#fourthofjuly #usa #independenceday #washingtondc #PTSDAwareness #PTSD #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #invisiblewounds
  • Hi frens! It’s your friendly neighborhood Monte and my brother “the” Chepito here with a quick PSA about the sky booms that are going to happen tonight! 🎆⁣
    ❤️🇺🇸 💙⁣
    While we are excited to celebrate the Fourth of July, it’s important to recognize that not everyone is as excited for the holiday. ⁣
    💙🇺🇸❤️⁣
    The loud noises, crowds, or other elements of celebration that may seem like a normal part of the holiday can have potentially triggering effects for some suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a condition of trauma that affects a significant number of combat veterans, along with numbers untold others who have survived other forms of trauma, such as sexual assault or domestic abuse.⁣
    ❤️🇺🇸💙⁣
    “While compassion and courtesy for veterans on this holiday celebrating freedom is absolutely important, it is also important to remember that many people with PTSD have not seen battle. Hypervigilance and a strong reaction to loud noises are common in many cases of PTSD. Just because your neighborhood doesn’t have any military veterans does not mean you don’t have a neighbor with PTSD. Consider how much you don’t know about other people’s lives before getting crazy with the bottle rockets.” ⁣
    💙🇺🇸❤️⁣
    Ways to help those in your life who may be suffering on the 4th: ⁣
    https://themighty.com/2017/07/veterans-fireworks-ptsd-help/⁣
    🐾⁣
    🇺🇸⁣
    🐾⁣
    #fourthofjuly #usa #independenceday #washingtondc #PTSDAwareness #PTSD #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #invisiblewounds
  • 128 14 4 July, 2019
  • Heard this quote, and yeah. Sometimes it hurts so bad because all the love I wanted to be giving perpetually is lost with no where to go.

When I wonder why it hurts, I stop to think “well right now I would be doing xyz with Miles”, and those plans would have been filled with love and joy.
I reflect on the happiness that baby would be continuing to bring to my life, and that feels painful and that pain is grief.

There’s no right or wrong way to grieve and there’s no timeline grief follows, I’ve learned.

I say this time and time again...All we can do is put one foot in front of the other and try our best to stay humble and positive and hopeful for the future.
Focus on the good and pause for the pain. Wake up the next day and repeat. And of course, just breathe.

I hope those words aren’t received as platitudes. I hope they find a commonplace to sit next to you to say I understand, and while I can’t do more for you, I get it.
  • Heard this quote, and yeah. Sometimes it hurts so bad because all the love I wanted to be giving perpetually is lost with no where to go.

    When I wonder why it hurts, I stop to think “well right now I would be doing xyz with Miles”, and those plans would have been filled with love and joy.
    I reflect on the happiness that baby would be continuing to bring to my life, and that feels painful and that pain is grief.

    There’s no right or wrong way to grieve and there’s no timeline grief follows, I’ve learned.

    I say this time and time again...All we can do is put one foot in front of the other and try our best to stay humble and positive and hopeful for the future.
    Focus on the good and pause for the pain. Wake up the next day and repeat. And of course, just breathe.

    I hope those words aren’t received as platitudes. I hope they find a commonplace to sit next to you to say I understand, and while I can’t do more for you, I get it.
  • 159 24 4 December, 2019
  • “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.” - Dory 🐠
I got this. You got this. ‘One foot in front of the other’ is my motto lately. And if you stumble and can’t see clearly because the tears are making the path blurry, wipe them 🥺 and take the next step. 👣

Had a chat yesterday with my dear friend @yogawithki and discussed getting stuck in a space with PTSD. She made sure to tell me I had PTSD, you know, just so I was clear, and I said “I know”. And she said “okay good”. 😉 I’m not in denial. I’m also trying my best to not get stuck reveling in pain and heartache. I definitely get tripped up though.
I don’t like calling them panic attacks or anxiety attacks because when the uncontrollable emotions flood in, I don’t feel a very heavy level of anxiety, I just feel sadness.
She called that “a release”, and asked if I feel better after. Yes, I do typically feel better after.

I don’t like that sometimes I feel overwhelmed with emotions and can’t stop the tears from coming but I also don’t allow myself to stay there for too long.
I think this is called ‘working through it’. I’m not stuffing the grief away - that’s dangerous and could crop up later in ugly ways.
I set my goals and intentions and go for them - get out of the house, do something physical or meet up with a friend. I’m meeting my goals - - even with tears in my eyes...because I got this!
  • “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.” - Dory 🐠
    I got this. You got this. ‘One foot in front of the other’ is my motto lately. And if you stumble and can’t see clearly because the tears are making the path blurry, wipe them 🥺 and take the next step. 👣

    Had a chat yesterday with my dear friend @yogawithki and discussed getting stuck in a space with PTSD. She made sure to tell me I had PTSD, you know, just so I was clear, and I said “I know”. And she said “okay good”. 😉 I’m not in denial. I’m also trying my best to not get stuck reveling in pain and heartache. I definitely get tripped up though.
    I don’t like calling them panic attacks or anxiety attacks because when the uncontrollable emotions flood in, I don’t feel a very heavy level of anxiety, I just feel sadness.
    She called that “a release”, and asked if I feel better after. Yes, I do typically feel better after.

    I don’t like that sometimes I feel overwhelmed with emotions and can’t stop the tears from coming but I also don’t allow myself to stay there for too long.
    I think this is called ‘working through it’. I’m not stuffing the grief away - that’s dangerous and could crop up later in ugly ways.
    I set my goals and intentions and go for them - get out of the house, do something physical or meet up with a friend. I’m meeting my goals - - even with tears in my eyes...because I got this!
  • 217 28 12 August, 2019

Latest Instagram Posts

  • This week has been tough. Exhausting, overwhelming, and draining. Grief, family issues, personal life relationships, school picking up, my health... it all comes crashing down at once. 
I went to begin writing and saw a note from a few weeks ago, that I never shared. It’s crazy to me when my own thoughts and words help me. It’s so bizarre. “Yesterday I was in therapy, talking about allll the things. 
We were talking about goals, hope, effort, etc. I am someone who has one thing they are looking forward too and I put all my eggs in one basket. What gets me through bad days? Looking forward to whatever it may be. Planning for it. Organizing, etc. And then 9/10 something happens that flips my plans on its head. I can’t go, it isn’t happening, something changes it, someone acts different, etc.

My therapist was talking about spreading out your eggs. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, even if it is the biggest one. Have many baskets, get goals that are small. That are achievable, but also won’t break you if they aren’t met. Work up to the big goal.

She later gave the comparison she heard in a podcast recently. If a body builder and a marathon runner were to stand next to each other with absolutely 0 explanation or identification, but they were asked who is stronger. 99% of people are going to say the body builder. He looks strong. He is strong. He can lift a car if need be, but only for a few moments. He can do a HUGE task, but only once.

The marathon runner, looks smaller. Doesn’t look strong. And she isn’t, in some senses. But the marathon runner? She can run for 6 hours straight. She can go the distance. She can get herself to the final destination, not just over the first hurdle.

Make small goals. Focus on little things. Let these achievements push you forward, to more goals. It will help your endurance, you will go father, achieve more. Because you’re not discouraged if you fail to meet one. You don’t need to lift a car in order to feel like you’ve achieved your goal. You just have to be able to get to the finish line. 
Here’s to focusing on smaller goals. Setting ourselves up for success. Working on our strength and endurance. 💪🏼🤍
  • This week has been tough. Exhausting, overwhelming, and draining. Grief, family issues, personal life relationships, school picking up, my health... it all comes crashing down at once.
    I went to begin writing and saw a note from a few weeks ago, that I never shared. It’s crazy to me when my own thoughts and words help me. It’s so bizarre. “Yesterday I was in therapy, talking about allll the things.
    We were talking about goals, hope, effort, etc. I am someone who has one thing they are looking forward too and I put all my eggs in one basket. What gets me through bad days? Looking forward to whatever it may be. Planning for it. Organizing, etc. And then 9/10 something happens that flips my plans on its head. I can’t go, it isn’t happening, something changes it, someone acts different, etc.

    My therapist was talking about spreading out your eggs. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, even if it is the biggest one. Have many baskets, get goals that are small. That are achievable, but also won’t break you if they aren’t met. Work up to the big goal.

    She later gave the comparison she heard in a podcast recently. If a body builder and a marathon runner were to stand next to each other with absolutely 0 explanation or identification, but they were asked who is stronger. 99% of people are going to say the body builder. He looks strong. He is strong. He can lift a car if need be, but only for a few moments. He can do a HUGE task, but only once.

    The marathon runner, looks smaller. Doesn’t look strong. And she isn’t, in some senses. But the marathon runner? She can run for 6 hours straight. She can go the distance. She can get herself to the final destination, not just over the first hurdle.

    Make small goals. Focus on little things. Let these achievements push you forward, to more goals. It will help your endurance, you will go father, achieve more. Because you’re not discouraged if you fail to meet one. You don’t need to lift a car in order to feel like you’ve achieved your goal. You just have to be able to get to the finish line.
    Here’s to focusing on smaller goals. Setting ourselves up for success. Working on our strength and endurance. 💪🏼🤍
  • 21 3 16 February, 2020
  • YES!! Well written article I just shared on my @karenrichardshealth facebook page. Trauma lasts a lifetime. Therefore it takes continued work to address it. If you'd like the link shoot me a DM and I'll send it your way. ❤🙏🏽❤ "From outward appearances, a trauma survivor may look whole and healthy, but trauma can fester like an invisible wound, weakening the body’s defences until it manifests in the form of an illness."
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#HealthCoachTip #invisiblewounds
#traumawork #journeynotdestination
  • YES!! Well written article I just shared on my @karenrichardshealth facebook page. Trauma lasts a lifetime. Therefore it takes continued work to address it. If you'd like the link shoot me a DM and I'll send it your way. ❤🙏🏽❤ "From outward appearances, a trauma survivor may look whole and healthy, but trauma can fester like an invisible wound, weakening the body’s defences until it manifests in the form of an illness."
    .
    .
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    #HealthCoachTip #invisiblewounds
    #traumawork #journeynotdestination
  • 3 0 16 February, 2020
  • Was last year a 👍🏽 or a 👎🏽 for you? ✨Today we celebrate our 6th Anniversary! ✨.
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For Better or Worse... Year 5 was a “for worse” year for us. Possibly one of the toughest we have had... and this is coming from a couple who has survived many hospital visits, several devastating deaths, a coma, fibromyalgia and many tears together. -

This year we were tested. This year we failed some of those tests (mostly me lol). ......... ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I do have to share that even though we have struggled, I am so happy to look at my husband and know that though I might be a bit crazy, he will be by my side.
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I know he will love me, even when I let him down. I know he is by my side to fight with me and fight for me. 🥰
I know he will always tell me he thinks I’m beautiful, even with my pjs, sleeping cap and morning breath. The biggest sign of true love... he will grab my phone charger and blanket from the other room 😉.
-

Today starts year 6. 🥰
We have just dipped our toe in the water. We have so much to learn about life, about each other and about the world around us. 
I am so proud of the strides we have taken in the last few months. So proud of my husband and elated to have him as a partner to join me on this journey.
- ❤️May we continue to sharpen each other on the 2020 Adventure ❤️.
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- 🏘 @perryhomestexas 📸 @paisleylaynephotography
  • Was last year a 👍🏽 or a 👎🏽 for you? ✨Today we celebrate our 6th Anniversary! ✨.
    -
    For Better or Worse... Year 5 was a “for worse” year for us. Possibly one of the toughest we have had... and this is coming from a couple who has survived many hospital visits, several devastating deaths, a coma, fibromyalgia and many tears together. -

    This year we were tested. This year we failed some of those tests (mostly me lol). ......... ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
    I do have to share that even though we have struggled, I am so happy to look at my husband and know that though I might be a bit crazy, he will be by my side.
    -

    I know he will love me, even when I let him down. I know he is by my side to fight with me and fight for me. 🥰
    I know he will always tell me he thinks I’m beautiful, even with my pjs, sleeping cap and morning breath. The biggest sign of true love... he will grab my phone charger and blanket from the other room 😉.
    -

    Today starts year 6. 🥰
    We have just dipped our toe in the water. We have so much to learn about life, about each other and about the world around us.
    I am so proud of the strides we have taken in the last few months. So proud of my husband and elated to have him as a partner to join me on this journey.
    - ❤️May we continue to sharpen each other on the 2020 Adventure ❤️.
    -
    - 🏘 @perryhomestexas 📸 @paisleylaynephotography
  • 245 44 15 February, 2020
  • My current situation- my children discovered texts on my ex phone which confirm to them that he is sleeping with another woman. They confront him and tell him they are very unhappy. He makes them then have dinner with this woman and her mom and step dad. This woman’s mom tells my 12 yo daughter that I am not in my right mind! Me... out of this situation, I am being made out to be the crazy one. #narcabuse #finaldiscard #unbelievable #invisiblewounds #narcnearlykilledme #narcrecovery #narcawareness
  • My current situation- my children discovered texts on my ex phone which confirm to them that he is sleeping with another woman. They confront him and tell him they are very unhappy. He makes them then have dinner with this woman and her mom and step dad. This woman’s mom tells my 12 yo daughter that I am not in my right mind! Me... out of this situation, I am being made out to be the crazy one. #narcabuse #finaldiscard #unbelievable #invisiblewounds #narcnearlykilledme #narcrecovery #narcawareness
  • 1 2 15 February, 2020
  • For some Valentine’s means visiting your dead baby. 💕 I’m sure a lot of people visited their lost loved ones today.
Today we saw Miles’ plaque hung at Turkey Creek Path of Memories for the first time. They called us last Friday to let us know it was up.
We walked with our friend Rachel and spent a little time checking the plaque and taking a moment for all of the other lost children represented in this special place.
We brought Miles with us by both wearing our urn necklaces. I’m sure we’ll go back another day soon to spend some more time just the two of us or go with anyone who would like to go, so just let me know if you’d like to.

I think we were feeling strong because it wasn’t an emotional moment. It was just a moment of tenderness and pause.
We’re so glad a piece of Miles is here in this beautiful peaceful space in the woods along a stream.
We’ll be moving soon but a piece of all of us died in Florida last year. We’re glad we have a physical tangible memory to leave behind of our son. 💙

If you go sometime without us, his plaque is to the far left towards the back of the gazebo ceiling. 👼🏻
  • For some Valentine’s means visiting your dead baby. 💕 I’m sure a lot of people visited their lost loved ones today.
    Today we saw Miles’ plaque hung at Turkey Creek Path of Memories for the first time. They called us last Friday to let us know it was up.
    We walked with our friend Rachel and spent a little time checking the plaque and taking a moment for all of the other lost children represented in this special place.
    We brought Miles with us by both wearing our urn necklaces. I’m sure we’ll go back another day soon to spend some more time just the two of us or go with anyone who would like to go, so just let me know if you’d like to.

    I think we were feeling strong because it wasn’t an emotional moment. It was just a moment of tenderness and pause.
    We’re so glad a piece of Miles is here in this beautiful peaceful space in the woods along a stream.
    We’ll be moving soon but a piece of all of us died in Florida last year. We’re glad we have a physical tangible memory to leave behind of our son. 💙

    If you go sometime without us, his plaque is to the far left towards the back of the gazebo ceiling. 👼🏻
  • 128 28 15 February, 2020
  • I can almost pinpoint the moment the PTSD began to take over my life. I had suffered various types of traumas and tragedies over the years. I had encountered everything from military sexual trauma (MST) to domestic violence. I had deployed to combat zones and lost friends to suicide. Years went by and I did what all good soldiers are told to do: bottle everything up. I held in the tears, buried the pain, and continued with my duties. On the outside, I wore a smile, I joked around, and comforted those in need. On the inside, I was suffering. PTSD appeared once I escaped the domestic abuse and left the military behind. Old wounds and long suppressed emotions began to tear through the surface. I was tormented by nightmares, startled by every noise, terrified of touch. I fell into isolation, drowned in substance abuse, and was paralyzed by fear, which kept me from taking action to salvage the pieces of me that were left. Invisible wounds crumbled the tough exterior I'd built in the Army and  post-traumatic stress began to eat me alive. The world I found myself trapped within was a dark, desolate, and dehumanized portion of my mind that forced me to relive past trauma every moment of every day. I wear teal to bring awareness to PTSD and share my story so others know that they are not alone. .
.
Necklace @awarecauses 
Shirt @til_valhalla_project 
#sisu4life #sisu #ptsdawareness #ptsd #invisiblewounds #invisibleillness #awareness #aware #awarecauses #posttraumaticstressdisorder #pts #mentalhealthawareness #posttraumatic #trauma #struggle #mentalhealth
  • I can almost pinpoint the moment the PTSD began to take over my life. I had suffered various types of traumas and tragedies over the years. I had encountered everything from military sexual trauma (MST) to domestic violence. I had deployed to combat zones and lost friends to suicide. Years went by and I did what all good soldiers are told to do: bottle everything up. I held in the tears, buried the pain, and continued with my duties. On the outside, I wore a smile, I joked around, and comforted those in need. On the inside, I was suffering. PTSD appeared once I escaped the domestic abuse and left the military behind. Old wounds and long suppressed emotions began to tear through the surface. I was tormented by nightmares, startled by every noise, terrified of touch. I fell into isolation, drowned in substance abuse, and was paralyzed by fear, which kept me from taking action to salvage the pieces of me that were left. Invisible wounds crumbled the tough exterior I'd built in the Army and post-traumatic stress began to eat me alive. The world I found myself trapped within was a dark, desolate, and dehumanized portion of my mind that forced me to relive past trauma every moment of every day. I wear teal to bring awareness to PTSD and share my story so others know that they are not alone. .
    .
    Necklace @awarecauses
    Shirt @til_valhalla_project
    #sisu4life #sisu #ptsdawareness #ptsd #invisiblewounds #invisibleillness #awareness #aware #awarecauses #posttraumaticstressdisorder #pts #mentalhealthawareness #posttraumatic #trauma #struggle #mentalhealth
  • 32 3 14 February, 2020
  • The first time I walked into a psychologist's office, I was asked what was bothering me. I said I couldn't sleep and that I was anxious. I was immediately met with: "Well, you're a woman so you couldn't have seen much." I nodded, walked out, and for another year chose to not reach out for help regarding MST.

When I walked into a C&P exam, the woman asked if I still had anxiety. I sat there trembling, using all my energy to hold myself together, not stutter through my words, or cry. "Yes, and it's gotten worst." She looked me down, then said that I looked "too cleaned up to feel so bad." My claim was denied. 
At drill, people would say I looked tired and seemed withdrawn. I'd say I was fine. At the VA, I'd be asked if I lived in a safe environment. I'd say I did. Then return home to the abuse. Six months ago I decided to return to therapy. I finally brought up the MST and admitted to the domestic violence. I cried about it for the first time in forever. My therapist stared, waited for me to finish, then asked if I'd ever been diagnosed as bipolar. I stopped going.

I fought through depression, anxiety, and PTSD alone. I couldn't open up because I always got shut down, judged, or ignored. Isolation, fear, nightmares, chronic fatigue, and panic attacks left me in the dark, afraid of what I would do to myself to distract my mind from the fact that it felt like it was unraveling. The combat zones I'd been to could not compare to the battles happening inside my head. Invisible wounds pushed me to a place that I nearly failed to turn back from all because I thought I had to fight alone.
  • The first time I walked into a psychologist's office, I was asked what was bothering me. I said I couldn't sleep and that I was anxious. I was immediately met with: "Well, you're a woman so you couldn't have seen much." I nodded, walked out, and for another year chose to not reach out for help regarding MST.

    When I walked into a C&P exam, the woman asked if I still had anxiety. I sat there trembling, using all my energy to hold myself together, not stutter through my words, or cry. "Yes, and it's gotten worst." She looked me down, then said that I looked "too cleaned up to feel so bad." My claim was denied.
    At drill, people would say I looked tired and seemed withdrawn. I'd say I was fine. At the VA, I'd be asked if I lived in a safe environment. I'd say I did. Then return home to the abuse. Six months ago I decided to return to therapy. I finally brought up the MST and admitted to the domestic violence. I cried about it for the first time in forever. My therapist stared, waited for me to finish, then asked if I'd ever been diagnosed as bipolar. I stopped going.

    I fought through depression, anxiety, and PTSD alone. I couldn't open up because I always got shut down, judged, or ignored. Isolation, fear, nightmares, chronic fatigue, and panic attacks left me in the dark, afraid of what I would do to myself to distract my mind from the fact that it felt like it was unraveling. The combat zones I'd been to could not compare to the battles happening inside my head. Invisible wounds pushed me to a place that I nearly failed to turn back from all because I thought I had to fight alone.
  • 89 9 14 February, 2020
  • Reminder of the day. 
https://nicetrytees.com
  • Reminder of the day.
    https://nicetrytees.com
  • 4 1 12 February, 2020
  • I found it! This is the quote I was looking for. Yes grief is pent up love with missed opportunities to give. 
When a bereaved parent is hurting, they are longing for the experiences they are missing.
How we would rather be spending our time shaping a growing child is agonizing to feel.
We could teach Miles this and show Miles that.

I take a moment to stare at babies his age in a photo on social media. A smile forms inside for those boys, but then the sadness creeps in and I have to hide the post or keep scrolling. It stings and I’m not a glutton for punishment so I employ some coping mechanisms.
Because the love lost that I can’t give to my baby also can’t be given easily in other ways either. There’s no where for that extra love to go but to hold it in the heart without letting it make me a sad person.

Maybe I am a glutton for punishment. Posting is like a diary and writing almost always makes me feel deeply and cry through the words. I’m still hurting in many small ways almost daily. But I think that’s okay. Missing that unspent love and potential is bound to be painful. 🧸
  • I found it! This is the quote I was looking for. Yes grief is pent up love with missed opportunities to give.
    When a bereaved parent is hurting, they are longing for the experiences they are missing.
    How we would rather be spending our time shaping a growing child is agonizing to feel.
    We could teach Miles this and show Miles that.

    I take a moment to stare at babies his age in a photo on social media. A smile forms inside for those boys, but then the sadness creeps in and I have to hide the post or keep scrolling. It stings and I’m not a glutton for punishment so I employ some coping mechanisms.
    Because the love lost that I can’t give to my baby also can’t be given easily in other ways either. There’s no where for that extra love to go but to hold it in the heart without letting it make me a sad person.

    Maybe I am a glutton for punishment. Posting is like a diary and writing almost always makes me feel deeply and cry through the words. I’m still hurting in many small ways almost daily. But I think that’s okay. Missing that unspent love and potential is bound to be painful. 🧸
  • 154 23 11 February, 2020
  • How are your protecting your legacy 💲👨‍👩‍👧👨‍👩‍👦‍👦💍🏡? #KatieHeals
  • How are your protecting your legacy 💲👨‍👩‍👧👨‍👩‍👦‍👦💍🏡? #KatieHeals
  • 14 1 11 February, 2020
  • What are you doing for personal development this week?

I recently asked what people were doing to show themselves love for Valentine's Day and not many people responded. 
I realize... Society is teaching us to do do do and when we stop and love ourselves... Put ourselves first.

Have unconditional self-love 
We attract more love...more healing....love heals.

Healing myself started with putting ME first.

So I'll ask my question ask... What can you do this week to show yourself love?

SO FAR...I've got reiki done, a 90 minute massage, Emotional Acceptance session, and a walk in nature....and it's only Monday.

The root cause of chronic pain is not showing yourself true love.

To heal you've got to reconnect with yourself.

Put you first,

Then the world!

Cheers 🧡

#KatieHeals  #chronicpain #constipation #painmanagement #anxiety
  • What are you doing for personal development this week?

    I recently asked what people were doing to show themselves love for Valentine's Day and not many people responded.
    I realize... Society is teaching us to do do do and when we stop and love ourselves... Put ourselves first.

    Have unconditional self-love
    We attract more love...more healing....love heals.

    Healing myself started with putting ME first.

    So I'll ask my question ask... What can you do this week to show yourself love?

    SO FAR...I've got reiki done, a 90 minute massage, Emotional Acceptance session, and a walk in nature....and it's only Monday.

    The root cause of chronic pain is not showing yourself true love.

    To heal you've got to reconnect with yourself.

    Put you first,

    Then the world!

    Cheers 🧡

    #KatieHeals #chronicpain #constipation #painmanagement #anxiety
  • 8 1 10 February, 2020
  • Are you a stillbirth loss mom? There’s a retreat just for you! It’s hosted by @thevillageofmamas and it’s in November and other than a $100 donation to charity, it’s FREE! 
Good food, a beautiful house, near the beach, surrounded by others who will hold you up AND hold space and grace for you to share your story. You will feel friended and supported in your grief and make connections that will help normalize the pain. 
Need some healing? I did, and I’m so glad I went last year. Apply to attend and maybe I will see you there! 
Contact @thevillageofmamas for details and to apply. It’s very worth the trip and the time away.
That’s me sharing my story alongside my sweet baby Miles.
  • Are you a stillbirth loss mom? There’s a retreat just for you! It’s hosted by @thevillageofmamas and it’s in November and other than a $100 donation to charity, it’s FREE!
    Good food, a beautiful house, near the beach, surrounded by others who will hold you up AND hold space and grace for you to share your story. You will feel friended and supported in your grief and make connections that will help normalize the pain.
    Need some healing? I did, and I’m so glad I went last year. Apply to attend and maybe I will see you there!
    Contact @thevillageofmamas for details and to apply. It’s very worth the trip and the time away.
    That’s me sharing my story alongside my sweet baby Miles.
  • 116 10 10 February, 2020
  • You aren't broken.
You aren't missing something.
And I'm SO sorry this industry that has brought so much into your life, has made you question YOU.

But you aren't the person looking for just another diet to lose the pounds.
You're SO over that.

And you aren't someone who needs a workout plan to stay on track.
You love doing your own thing.

But you're ready for more.

To not feel broken and questioning every little thing you're doing.

Because you KNOW that tracking every little thing you consume isn't good long term, and you already know how you view food isn't normal.
You KNOW that your worth and productivity isn't just with how much you did in the gym, your progressions or how packed your schedule is.

You're ready for MORE.

For life.
For memories.
For freedom.
For food.
For competitions.
For lazy days.
And for feeling good no matter how you woke up.

You don't need another diet or workout routine or that weight loss program on the radio.

You're totally right there.

And that's what I've created with my Journey and Life programs.

Helping and supporting you as you shift into this new chapter and belief that you are capable of ditching the rules and created your own without gaining all the weight back.

This is completely different than anything out there and exactly what you're looking for but cant out into words.

Ditching the diet, keeping the athletic identity without any guilt taking days off AND keeping the weight off easily.

Journey- 6 months of support with a VIP weekend at the end
Life- 12 months of support with a VIP weekend in the middle AND a competition together that you've been putting off

It all just deoends in your goals and wants in life.
But we can talk more about that.😘 (Only open through Febrary OR when all the spots full up!)
  • You aren't broken.
    You aren't missing something.
    And I'm SO sorry this industry that has brought so much into your life, has made you question YOU.

    But you aren't the person looking for just another diet to lose the pounds.
    You're SO over that.

    And you aren't someone who needs a workout plan to stay on track.
    You love doing your own thing.

    But you're ready for more.

    To not feel broken and questioning every little thing you're doing.

    Because you KNOW that tracking every little thing you consume isn't good long term, and you already know how you view food isn't normal.
    You KNOW that your worth and productivity isn't just with how much you did in the gym, your progressions or how packed your schedule is.

    You're ready for MORE.

    For life.
    For memories.
    For freedom.
    For food.
    For competitions.
    For lazy days.
    And for feeling good no matter how you woke up.

    You don't need another diet or workout routine or that weight loss program on the radio.

    You're totally right there.

    And that's what I've created with my Journey and Life programs.

    Helping and supporting you as you shift into this new chapter and belief that you are capable of ditching the rules and created your own without gaining all the weight back.

    This is completely different than anything out there and exactly what you're looking for but cant out into words.

    Ditching the diet, keeping the athletic identity without any guilt taking days off AND keeping the weight off easily.

    Journey- 6 months of support with a VIP weekend at the end
    Life- 12 months of support with a VIP weekend in the middle AND a competition together that you've been putting off

    It all just deoends in your goals and wants in life.
    But we can talk more about that.😘 (Only open through Febrary OR when all the spots full up!)
  • 31 3 9 February, 2020
  • Like attracts like

Angry?  You'll be given more things to be angry about.

Victim? You'll find more things to be the victim of.

Grateful? You'll find more things to be grateful for.

Feeling wellness...you'll find more ways to feel well

Remembering Wellness Guided Meditation

Takes you back to a time even if it was for a hot minute where you felt well

During this guided meditation in my group your body will feel well

And you'll start to attract more things into your life to feel well

Want to watch the replay?

Drop "🧡" below and I'll send you the group link to watch the replay

Imagine a day you wake up energized and you have an internal feeling of Wellness 
Drop "🧡" below so you can remember Wellness and attract more of it into your life 🙏

#KatieHeals #butyoudontlooksick
  • Like attracts like

    Angry? You'll be given more things to be angry about.

    Victim? You'll find more things to be the victim of.

    Grateful? You'll find more things to be grateful for.

    Feeling wellness...you'll find more ways to feel well

    Remembering Wellness Guided Meditation

    Takes you back to a time even if it was for a hot minute where you felt well

    During this guided meditation in my group your body will feel well

    And you'll start to attract more things into your life to feel well

    Want to watch the replay?

    Drop "🧡" below and I'll send you the group link to watch the replay

    Imagine a day you wake up energized and you have an internal feeling of Wellness
    Drop "🧡" below so you can remember Wellness and attract more of it into your life 🙏

    #KatieHeals #butyoudontlooksick
  • 23 1 9 February, 2020
  • 𝐄𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
In simple terms, enmeshment refers to the lack of or blurring of boundaries within a relationship; to a point where one person’s emotional state is fully dependent on the emotional state of the other. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
In extreme situations, enmeshment shows up as emotional blackmailing, guilt-tripping, and gaslighting and severe codependency. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
𝐄𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
An enmeshed parent is someone whose sole purpose in life is the child and the parent’s happiness or suffering is entirely dependent on the child. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Basically, their child is everything for them. Their life revolves around their child. More precisely, it revolves around the choices of their child. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
𝐄𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭-𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
The closeness, at a certain age, is something most kids crave. As a child develops into a young adult, making their own choices, stating their preferences, the enmeshed parent begins to feel threatened, especially if their opinions are different than that of their child’s. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
The enmeshed parent demands for the closeness to remain, whether the child wants it or not. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Often, this closeness begins to feel suffocating to the child. Enmeshed parents, through words or actions, communicate that their self-worth, happiness and sense of success is directly dependent on what the child decides to do with and in their life. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
It’s no wonder that the child constantly feels indebted to their parents. I’ve seen cases where a codependent child subconsciously and consciously makes so many important life decisions based on what their enmeshed parents think.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
They hand over a large part of their autonomy to their parents. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
A 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭-𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 is supposed to be flexible. It’s is supposed to help you develop as a person, make independent choices, and live a life of your own.⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
It is able to withstand differences of opinions and distance, and it allows for conversations, and most importantly, it feels freeing.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣
🌙 You can be grateful for what your parents did for you, but if you feel indebted to them, you might want to dig deeper and explore what’s happening. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Comments or questions? 👇🏼⁣
⁣
  • 𝐄𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    In simple terms, enmeshment refers to the lack of or blurring of boundaries within a relationship; to a point where one person’s emotional state is fully dependent on the emotional state of the other. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    In extreme situations, enmeshment shows up as emotional blackmailing, guilt-tripping, and gaslighting and severe codependency. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    𝐄𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    An enmeshed parent is someone whose sole purpose in life is the child and the parent’s happiness or suffering is entirely dependent on the child. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    Basically, their child is everything for them. Their life revolves around their child. More precisely, it revolves around the choices of their child. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    𝐄𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭-𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    The closeness, at a certain age, is something most kids crave. As a child develops into a young adult, making their own choices, stating their preferences, the enmeshed parent begins to feel threatened, especially if their opinions are different than that of their child’s. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    The enmeshed parent demands for the closeness to remain, whether the child wants it or not. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    Often, this closeness begins to feel suffocating to the child. Enmeshed parents, through words or actions, communicate that their self-worth, happiness and sense of success is directly dependent on what the child decides to do with and in their life. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    It’s no wonder that the child constantly feels indebted to their parents. I’ve seen cases where a codependent child subconsciously and consciously makes so many important life decisions based on what their enmeshed parents think.⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    They hand over a large part of their autonomy to their parents. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    A 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭-𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 is supposed to be flexible. It’s is supposed to help you develop as a person, make independent choices, and live a life of your own.⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    It is able to withstand differences of opinions and distance, and it allows for conversations, and most importantly, it feels freeing.⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣
    🌙 You can be grateful for what your parents did for you, but if you feel indebted to them, you might want to dig deeper and explore what’s happening. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    Comments or questions? 👇🏼⁣
  • 53 3 8 February, 2020
  • This is pure happiness.

Something I chased for years with other names.

Wanting to lose 20 pounds.
Wanting to enter a bodybuilding competition.
Wanting to cut out sweets.
Wanting to wear a bikini.
Wanting to get a boyfriend.
Wanting to pass the class.
Wanting to be smart.
Wanting to stick with my diet.
Wanting to get rid of my zits.
Wanting to be seen.
Wanting to have more time.
Wanting to actually feel good enough.

But I found it by getting rid of the rules and expectations of others in order to be able to hear my own voice again.

And here I sat, alone in a coffee shop, on my 26th birthday, feeling pure bliss, contentment and joy.
With just myself.

I'm so sorry I've been afraid of my own voice and the change I'm meant to bring into this world.
I don't want to do that anymore.

26 is the year I help the people I'm meant to help and change the expectation of what you need in order to find happiness.

It doesn't come with a number or approval from others.

It comes from you.
Loving yourself.
Seeing how beautiful and worthy you are.
And repeating that over and over and over again, until the voice in your head is no longer as strong as the one of your soul.

This is MORE than a diet and workout routine.
This is the worth and value that comes despite the other stuff.
  • This is pure happiness.

    Something I chased for years with other names.

    Wanting to lose 20 pounds.
    Wanting to enter a bodybuilding competition.
    Wanting to cut out sweets.
    Wanting to wear a bikini.
    Wanting to get a boyfriend.
    Wanting to pass the class.
    Wanting to be smart.
    Wanting to stick with my diet.
    Wanting to get rid of my zits.
    Wanting to be seen.
    Wanting to have more time.
    Wanting to actually feel good enough.

    But I found it by getting rid of the rules and expectations of others in order to be able to hear my own voice again.

    And here I sat, alone in a coffee shop, on my 26th birthday, feeling pure bliss, contentment and joy.
    With just myself.

    I'm so sorry I've been afraid of my own voice and the change I'm meant to bring into this world.
    I don't want to do that anymore.

    26 is the year I help the people I'm meant to help and change the expectation of what you need in order to find happiness.

    It doesn't come with a number or approval from others.

    It comes from you.
    Loving yourself.
    Seeing how beautiful and worthy you are.
    And repeating that over and over and over again, until the voice in your head is no longer as strong as the one of your soul.

    This is MORE than a diet and workout routine.
    This is the worth and value that comes despite the other stuff.
  • 34 5 8 February, 2020
  • A veteran recently completed Hbot with us after years in the special forces. This is the worst before SPECT scan I have seen for someone functioning as well as he does. 
The top row is before he started hyperbaric treatment. The bottom row is one week after 60 treatments. 
Spect scans are different than MRI and CT scans. They measure blood flow in the brain. When someone suffers mild traumatic brain injuries or persistent concussions, they lose bloodflow in some areas. Sometimes the blood flow goes back and they recover, but sometimes it doesn’t. Most of the tissue has enough oxygen to survive but it can’t function properly so it goes into what we call “hibernation mode.”
Years and years go by. Antidepressants, adderall, Botox, and lots of other meds are prescribed to mask the symptoms. The person struggles to communicate with their loved ones, develops anger outbursts because they can’t process emotions properly, can’t stick with a job. They also tend to have constant headaches and struggle to sleep at night. There are typically more symptoms associated with brain injuries but I will stop there. 
These are the invisible wounds you cannot see. 
This man told me he has his life back. He had been at his new normal for so long he did not remember what is was like to have feelings and really live.
Simply breathing oxygen under pressure. That’s it. 
Why can’t everyone have access to this treatment? Why are the insurance companies, the FDA and the DOD so against healing people? Why are we so behind other countries when it comes to finding a solution to the root problem. Hmmm... I wonder.  #tbi #invisiblewounds #hbot #hyperbaricoxygen #oxygenunderpressure
  • A veteran recently completed Hbot with us after years in the special forces. This is the worst before SPECT scan I have seen for someone functioning as well as he does.
    The top row is before he started hyperbaric treatment. The bottom row is one week after 60 treatments.
    Spect scans are different than MRI and CT scans. They measure blood flow in the brain. When someone suffers mild traumatic brain injuries or persistent concussions, they lose bloodflow in some areas. Sometimes the blood flow goes back and they recover, but sometimes it doesn’t. Most of the tissue has enough oxygen to survive but it can’t function properly so it goes into what we call “hibernation mode.”
    Years and years go by. Antidepressants, adderall, Botox, and lots of other meds are prescribed to mask the symptoms. The person struggles to communicate with their loved ones, develops anger outbursts because they can’t process emotions properly, can’t stick with a job. They also tend to have constant headaches and struggle to sleep at night. There are typically more symptoms associated with brain injuries but I will stop there.
    These are the invisible wounds you cannot see.
    This man told me he has his life back. He had been at his new normal for so long he did not remember what is was like to have feelings and really live.
    Simply breathing oxygen under pressure. That’s it.
    Why can’t everyone have access to this treatment? Why are the insurance companies, the FDA and the DOD so against healing people? Why are we so behind other countries when it comes to finding a solution to the root problem. Hmmm... I wonder. #tbi #invisiblewounds #hbot #hyperbaricoxygen #oxygenunderpressure
  • 2 0 7 February, 2020
  • Google Photos was kind enough to remind me that 2 years ago this week I was on a beach in Hawaii. 🏝#fbf #howglodoesit #youngstrokesurvivor
🔹
#Flashback to (I think) the nicest photo of me ever taken(📸: the #BHE💙), despite the fact that I am 5 months pregnant here. Ok, I’ll admit: we were #babymooning. Judge all you want, it’s #Hawaii and it was #worthit. #beachhairdontcare 😆
🔹
It’s easy for me to look at the photos from this trip and grieve for a time when things were so beautiful, which I do (rarely, as it’s a slippery slope), and it’s totally valid, but there’s a dark side you can’t see here that I don’t miss.
🔹
The point here is that things weren’t perfect before I had a stroke. For me, it’s helpful to remind myself of this. The stroke made nothing better, it did NOT help in any way, but it was not and is not the only fly in the ointment: it didn’t ruin my life. Things weren’t perfect before.
🔹
This is helpful for me because it’s easy to idealize the time ‘before.’ Don’t get me wrong, I had (and have!) a pretty great life, and I know it. Hawaii was great! 💛💯😍🏝 But it helps save me from drowning in grief to remember that behind this happy moment was a year of pain, heartache, and stress so toxic I will never not believe it caused me to lose a pregnancy the summer before this photo was taken. There are 6 months of psychotherapy behind this photograph, more tears and pain than I could handle, depression, fear, exhaustion. It still hasn’t all fully resolved. I will never not believe that that toxic stress helped cause me to have a #postpartumstroke, after my healthiest pregnancy, easiest delivery, and 2 previous completely healthy pregnancies and deliveries.
🔹
The point is, #keepgoing. Don’t look back. We have to grieve our losses, but don’t live in the grief, or the loss. Before was great, we grieve the loss, but I’m grateful that I can look forward to what’s next. Remembering that the past wasn’t perfect helps me #moveforward instead of clinging to and drowning in “shouldacouldawoulda” and “what-ifs.”
🔹
What helps you move forward and keep going? I’m making lobster mac’n’ cheese for Valentine’s Day next week and I CAN’T WAIT. 😋😋 😋
  • Google Photos was kind enough to remind me that 2 years ago this week I was on a beach in Hawaii. 🏝 #fbf #howglodoesit #youngstrokesurvivor
    🔹
    #Flashback to (I think) the nicest photo of me ever taken(📸: the #BHE 💙), despite the fact that I am 5 months pregnant here. Ok, I’ll admit: we were #babymooning . Judge all you want, it’s #Hawaii and it was #worthit . #beachhairdontcare 😆
    🔹
    It’s easy for me to look at the photos from this trip and grieve for a time when things were so beautiful, which I do (rarely, as it’s a slippery slope), and it’s totally valid, but there’s a dark side you can’t see here that I don’t miss.
    🔹
    The point here is that things weren’t perfect before I had a stroke. For me, it’s helpful to remind myself of this. The stroke made nothing better, it did NOT help in any way, but it was not and is not the only fly in the ointment: it didn’t ruin my life. Things weren’t perfect before.
    🔹
    This is helpful for me because it’s easy to idealize the time ‘before.’ Don’t get me wrong, I had (and have!) a pretty great life, and I know it. Hawaii was great! 💛💯😍🏝 But it helps save me from drowning in grief to remember that behind this happy moment was a year of pain, heartache, and stress so toxic I will never not believe it caused me to lose a pregnancy the summer before this photo was taken. There are 6 months of psychotherapy behind this photograph, more tears and pain than I could handle, depression, fear, exhaustion. It still hasn’t all fully resolved. I will never not believe that that toxic stress helped cause me to have a #postpartumstroke , after my healthiest pregnancy, easiest delivery, and 2 previous completely healthy pregnancies and deliveries.
    🔹
    The point is, #keepgoing . Don’t look back. We have to grieve our losses, but don’t live in the grief, or the loss. Before was great, we grieve the loss, but I’m grateful that I can look forward to what’s next. Remembering that the past wasn’t perfect helps me #moveforward instead of clinging to and drowning in “shouldacouldawoulda” and “what-ifs.”
    🔹
    What helps you move forward and keep going? I’m making lobster mac’n’ cheese for Valentine’s Day next week and I CAN’T WAIT. 😋😋 😋
  • 67 19 7 February, 2020
  • “There is nothing truer in this world, than the love of a dog” ••
Team update!! Steve and Sarge are progressing so well in the program that we are confident they will be passing their first training milestone very soon! 🎉 
Their trainer tells us it’s often difficult to get photos of this duo because of their bond and happiness together during training sessions-they are always enjoying their time at the training center and moving around having a blast (as you can see by Sarges face😛)! This team continues to make progress, and it’s only the beginning! Help us show them some love! ••
Also, a big THANK YOU to all who attended our amazing film event last night! Congrats to the winners of the raffles and we really appreciate your support!!! It makes it possible for us to continue 𝓡𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓾𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓞𝓷𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓵 𝓐𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 🐾💙
#bluestarservicedogs #veterans #healing #servicedogsofinstagram #dogtraining #rescuedogsofinstagram @metrodetroitanimals #ptsd #tbi #invisiblewounds #dogsofinstagram #inspiration #quotes #thursday
  • “There is nothing truer in this world, than the love of a dog” ••
    Team update!! Steve and Sarge are progressing so well in the program that we are confident they will be passing their first training milestone very soon! 🎉
    Their trainer tells us it’s often difficult to get photos of this duo because of their bond and happiness together during training sessions-they are always enjoying their time at the training center and moving around having a blast (as you can see by Sarges face😛)! This team continues to make progress, and it’s only the beginning! Help us show them some love! ••
    Also, a big THANK YOU to all who attended our amazing film event last night! Congrats to the winners of the raffles and we really appreciate your support!!! It makes it possible for us to continue 𝓡𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓾𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓞𝓷𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓵 𝓐𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 🐾💙
    #bluestarservicedogs #veterans #healing #servicedogsofinstagram #dogtraining #rescuedogsofinstagram @metrodetroitanimals #ptsd #tbi #invisiblewounds #dogsofinstagram #inspiration #quotes #thursday
  • 21 0 6 February, 2020
  • I was literally explaining this to my therapist this morning, a few hours before seeing this illustration by @glitterandgrief that explains it.
I told her “there is no roadmap to show me how to navigate grief”. I saw a map in my mind’s eye.
But after grief no map exists.
You have to write your own damn map.
But you can’t write it prior to embarkation.
You have to draw it during or after as you look back at your journey.

The abyss of grief is vast. You have no idea what’s next, where you’re going, how you’ll get there, or how you’ll feel once you arrive.
And you will cry along every speed bump.
You’ll pass landmarks along the way and you’ll get triggered and your anxiety will rise and you’ll experience the whole gamut of feelings.

No one can prepare you for this trip. The only real guides are people who’ve experienced something similar, but it will never be the same so there’s really no help you can find anywhere.
You can lean on resources, kind of like gas stations ⛽️, along your journey.
People like therapists or friends will listen and help you understand your feelings by explaining them, but then you must journey forward without them.

I guess my only advice thus far, is don’t forget to stop for gas.
Refill on hugs, and listening ears, and other self care items that refill your tank.

Hey I’m kinda digging my road trip metaphor. Appropriate since we’ll be leaving Florida in April to road trip to CA to live for 17 months.
There I’ll get to unfold a new map 🗺 with a lot more nature and people dear to my heart.
  • I was literally explaining this to my therapist this morning, a few hours before seeing this illustration by @glitterandgrief that explains it.
    I told her “there is no roadmap to show me how to navigate grief”. I saw a map in my mind’s eye.
    But after grief no map exists.
    You have to write your own damn map.
    But you can’t write it prior to embarkation.
    You have to draw it during or after as you look back at your journey.

    The abyss of grief is vast. You have no idea what’s next, where you’re going, how you’ll get there, or how you’ll feel once you arrive.
    And you will cry along every speed bump.
    You’ll pass landmarks along the way and you’ll get triggered and your anxiety will rise and you’ll experience the whole gamut of feelings.

    No one can prepare you for this trip. The only real guides are people who’ve experienced something similar, but it will never be the same so there’s really no help you can find anywhere.
    You can lean on resources, kind of like gas stations ⛽️, along your journey.
    People like therapists or friends will listen and help you understand your feelings by explaining them, but then you must journey forward without them.

    I guess my only advice thus far, is don’t forget to stop for gas.
    Refill on hugs, and listening ears, and other self care items that refill your tank.

    Hey I’m kinda digging my road trip metaphor. Appropriate since we’ll be leaving Florida in April to road trip to CA to live for 17 months.
    There I’ll get to unfold a new map 🗺 with a lot more nature and people dear to my heart.
  • 50 10 6 February, 2020
  • I hate to break this to you but I’m going to do it anyway. Because it’s important. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Just because you weren’t born in a very obviously dysfunctional family, doesn’t mean a part of you wasn’t wounded or that you didn’t inherit some unhealthy patterns from your caregivers. ⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
You might have had a seemingly perfect childhood, and for most parts, maybe it was. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
However, if you’re noticing some persistent issues in your personal or professional life as an adult, I urge you to take a moment and look back at your picture perfect family and get really honest about some patterns you inherited from them. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Look at some of the socially acceptable habits and strengths, and explore which ones you almost feel proud about - why? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
What made you the workaholic that you are? What makes you such a perfectionist? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Why does it make you uncomfortable when someone experiences a difficult emotion? ⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣
Why do you avoid conflicts? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣
Do you enjoy being busy all the time?⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Where do the borderline aggressive responses come from? Where does your fantastic sense of humour come from? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
What’s the root cause of your people-pleasing personality? Are you obsessed about being nice? ⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Do you think vulnerability = weakness? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Do you suppress emotions like anger and fear? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
What makes you feel so indebted and obliged towards your parents, your peers, etc.?⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Do you feel the need to keep your deepest, darkest desires to yourself? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
How do you respond when someone talks about their suffering? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Do you get all anxious when your partner or a friend doesn’t respond to your text or call? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Do you constantly experience resentment, guilt, and shame, and don’t know what to do with it? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣
Think about it. ⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣
This is hard, I know. And I won’t be surprised if it brings up some emotions. I see my clients, friends, and strangers defending their perfect families all the time. It’s a natural response. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Please be gentle as you look at your old programming. It’s the first step towards taking ownership of your life.
  • I hate to break this to you but I’m going to do it anyway. Because it’s important. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    Just because you weren’t born in a very obviously dysfunctional family, doesn’t mean a part of you wasn’t wounded or that you didn’t inherit some unhealthy patterns from your caregivers. ⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    You might have had a seemingly perfect childhood, and for most parts, maybe it was. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    However, if you’re noticing some persistent issues in your personal or professional life as an adult, I urge you to take a moment and look back at your picture perfect family and get really honest about some patterns you inherited from them. ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    Look at some of the socially acceptable habits and strengths, and explore which ones you almost feel proud about - why? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    What made you the workaholic that you are? What makes you such a perfectionist? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    Why does it make you uncomfortable when someone experiences a difficult emotion? ⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣
    Why do you avoid conflicts? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣
    Do you enjoy being busy all the time?⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    Where do the borderline aggressive responses come from? Where does your fantastic sense of humour come from? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    What’s the root cause of your people-pleasing personality? Are you obsessed about being nice? ⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    Do you think vulnerability = weakness? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    Do you suppress emotions like anger and fear? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    What makes you feel so indebted and obliged towards your parents, your peers, etc.?⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    Do you feel the need to keep your deepest, darkest desires to yourself? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    How do you respond when someone talks about their suffering? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    Do you get all anxious when your partner or a friend doesn’t respond to your text or call? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    Do you constantly experience resentment, guilt, and shame, and don’t know what to do with it? ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣
    Think about it. ⁣⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣⁣
    This is hard, I know. And I won’t be surprised if it brings up some emotions. I see my clients, friends, and strangers defending their perfect families all the time. It’s a natural response. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    Please be gentle as you look at your old programming. It’s the first step towards taking ownership of your life.
  • 39 1 6 February, 2020
  • I don't believe time heals everything. 
It helps, it does.
After a while you wont cry about it all the time.
It won't consume your every thought any more.
You do get better.
You'll laugh.
And smile.
You'll even have a lot of great days.
But it's still there.
You just have to learn to live with it.
This is how things are now.
So you get used to it.
But,
That doesn't mean it ever goes away.
It's still deep in your soul.
Still makes you cry when you think about it too much.
Still stops you in your tracks when something reminds you of it.
You'll have those moments where your heart hurts really bad.
I don't think time heals everything.
Sure, it gets better, but it's a scar that never goes away.
A broken bone that still aches on rainy days.
.
It’s incomprehensible to me that it’s been 23 years since I kissed my daddy bye, not knowing it would be the last time.
.
I miss his big ole bear hugs, sweet kisses on the top of my head, huge smile, and his voice calling me his Lynnie-Lou.
.
My heart broke when I got the call but I knew you were no longer in pain and it helped...a little. I love and miss you Daddy, every single day.
  • I don't believe time heals everything.
    It helps, it does.
    After a while you wont cry about it all the time.
    It won't consume your every thought any more.
    You do get better.
    You'll laugh.
    And smile.
    You'll even have a lot of great days.
    But it's still there.
    You just have to learn to live with it.
    This is how things are now.
    So you get used to it.
    But,
    That doesn't mean it ever goes away.
    It's still deep in your soul.
    Still makes you cry when you think about it too much.
    Still stops you in your tracks when something reminds you of it.
    You'll have those moments where your heart hurts really bad.
    I don't think time heals everything.
    Sure, it gets better, but it's a scar that never goes away.
    A broken bone that still aches on rainy days.
    .
    It’s incomprehensible to me that it’s been 23 years since I kissed my daddy bye, not knowing it would be the last time.
    .
    I miss his big ole bear hugs, sweet kisses on the top of my head, huge smile, and his voice calling me his Lynnie-Lou.
    .
    My heart broke when I got the call but I knew you were no longer in pain and it helped...a little. I love and miss you Daddy, every single day.
  • 15 7 5 February, 2020
  • My spirit is roadkill. That’s literally what I said to my husband last week when describing how I feel.
Sometimes I wonder if how Miles’ death has changed me means my spirit will feel dampened forever.
I feel like I can’t experience highs anymore. Sure I can laugh, but I wonder if pure joy is a thing of the past.
‘Happiness is what you make it’ they say. I’ve felt happy but then it fades, and the homeostasis is just kind of a calm blah.
Does that last forever after a major loss?

Last week was crushing. A woman I used to work with at a CrossFit gym had her baby boy. She labored for 40hours, tried pushing for 3, and ultimately got her baby via c-section.
It sounds like our labors were rather similar only she got the delivery I should have had but didn’t. That hit me like a ton of bricks for a full 48 hours. And honestly I’m still sad. (Crying now as I write this out. Understanding why I’ve been avoiding posting.)
But implementing some of the tools in this illustration by @jessrachelsharp do help.
Alex asks me what I’m feeling and I tell him honestly.
I allow the tears to come and I trust I’ll feel better again in the near-ish future.
I put on comfy clothes and solicit hugs and donating a bunch of my unused clothes and household items did make me feel good for a while.
I’m able to feel without frustration but not without wondering if my spirit will forever feel like roadkill. 🦨 This is my grief in month 9.
  • My spirit is roadkill. That’s literally what I said to my husband last week when describing how I feel.
    Sometimes I wonder if how Miles’ death has changed me means my spirit will feel dampened forever.
    I feel like I can’t experience highs anymore. Sure I can laugh, but I wonder if pure joy is a thing of the past.
    ‘Happiness is what you make it’ they say. I’ve felt happy but then it fades, and the homeostasis is just kind of a calm blah.
    Does that last forever after a major loss?

    Last week was crushing. A woman I used to work with at a CrossFit gym had her baby boy. She labored for 40hours, tried pushing for 3, and ultimately got her baby via c-section.
    It sounds like our labors were rather similar only she got the delivery I should have had but didn’t. That hit me like a ton of bricks for a full 48 hours. And honestly I’m still sad. (Crying now as I write this out. Understanding why I’ve been avoiding posting.)
    But implementing some of the tools in this illustration by @jessrachelsharp do help.
    Alex asks me what I’m feeling and I tell him honestly.
    I allow the tears to come and I trust I’ll feel better again in the near-ish future.
    I put on comfy clothes and solicit hugs and donating a bunch of my unused clothes and household items did make me feel good for a while.
    I’m able to feel without frustration but not without wondering if my spirit will forever feel like roadkill. 🦨 This is my grief in month 9.
  • 96 24 4 February, 2020
  • Something happened a few days ago which served as a sign that I am here for a reason; one that’s greater than my illness. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
During a conversation with my dad about one out of many horrific memories from my childhood, he happened to mention that it was time for him to face the effects of his seemingly perfect childhood. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
This is BIG for us. Having  a heart to-heart conversation, embracing vulnerability, and responding instead of reacting. It’s progress. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
There were barely any arguments in my dad’s family. No one ever raised their voice or discussed anything uncomfortable - apparently, they never needed to. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
My paternal grandmother had a way of maintaining peace at home: by never allowing space for uncomfortable feelings to come up. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
No wonder my dad had no idea how to deal with difficult conversations in his marriage with my mother, who, happened to come from a family where dealing with uncomfortable conversations looked like yelling, belittling, and criticising. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Clearly, my dad’s been waking up to how his childhood moulded him as a person, and how, for all these years, he used work as a distraction from anything that was uncomfortable. ⁣
⁣⁣⁣
In that moment, I felt this strong yet subtle intuitive hit that maybe this is what I’m here for. To be the first one to choose the path of healing, ending generations worth of toxic patterns in both sides of my family, and to create a ripple-effect. First, onto my brother, and then, onto my dad. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
I knew, right there, that my awakening to the generational dysfunction and choosing to heal, was a beginning of something new and hopeful for all of us. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
I was led onto the path of healing not because of the childhood trauma I experienced, but because of a life-altering illness. It took falling apart (physically) to realise how I was already wilting for years (mentally).⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
If you’re sensing that you are here to heal your family line, or that you can no longer allow toxicity to run in your family, be courageous and choose yourself first. Others will follow if they’re meant to. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
I’m here for you. We’re in this together. ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Love,⁣⁣⁣
Manasi
🌙🤍
  • Something happened a few days ago which served as a sign that I am here for a reason; one that’s greater than my illness. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    During a conversation with my dad about one out of many horrific memories from my childhood, he happened to mention that it was time for him to face the effects of his seemingly perfect childhood. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    This is BIG for us. Having a heart to-heart conversation, embracing vulnerability, and responding instead of reacting. It’s progress. ⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    There were barely any arguments in my dad’s family. No one ever raised their voice or discussed anything uncomfortable - apparently, they never needed to. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    My paternal grandmother had a way of maintaining peace at home: by never allowing space for uncomfortable feelings to come up. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    No wonder my dad had no idea how to deal with difficult conversations in his marriage with my mother, who, happened to come from a family where dealing with uncomfortable conversations looked like yelling, belittling, and criticising. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    Clearly, my dad’s been waking up to how his childhood moulded him as a person, and how, for all these years, he used work as a distraction from anything that was uncomfortable. ⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    In that moment, I felt this strong yet subtle intuitive hit that maybe this is what I’m here for. To be the first one to choose the path of healing, ending generations worth of toxic patterns in both sides of my family, and to create a ripple-effect. First, onto my brother, and then, onto my dad. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    I knew, right there, that my awakening to the generational dysfunction and choosing to heal, was a beginning of something new and hopeful for all of us. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    I was led onto the path of healing not because of the childhood trauma I experienced, but because of a life-altering illness. It took falling apart (physically) to realise how I was already wilting for years (mentally).⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    If you’re sensing that you are here to heal your family line, or that you can no longer allow toxicity to run in your family, be courageous and choose yourself first. Others will follow if they’re meant to. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    I’m here for you. We’re in this together. ⁣⁣⁣
    ⁣⁣⁣
    Love,⁣⁣⁣
    Manasi
    🌙🤍
  • 45 17 4 February, 2020
  • 🏒🇺🇸RRCF AND OPERATION HAT TRICK TO SUPPORT SIX WARRIOR ICE HOCKEY PROGRAMS IN A TWO-YEAR COMMITMENT https://operationhattrick.org/articles/2020/02/operation-hat-trick-and-red-river-charitable-foundation-to-support-six-warrior-ice-hockey-programs-in-a-two-year-commitment.php
  • 🏒🇺🇸RRCF AND OPERATION HAT TRICK TO SUPPORT SIX WARRIOR ICE HOCKEY PROGRAMS IN A TWO-YEAR COMMITMENT https://operationhattrick.org/articles/2020/02/operation-hat-trick-and-red-river-charitable-foundation-to-support-six-warrior-ice-hockey-programs-in-a-two-year-commitment.php
  • 20 2 4 February, 2020
  • 💌LIMITED EDITION! 💌

For the first time ever, Blue Star has Valentines available for purchase! On behalf of someone you love..buy a valentine (or 6 😉) to support the veterans, dogs and inmates that make our program possible! ••
This is only the front side...because the back has *exclusive* photos of our teams in training and our inmate handlers in action! We have limited quantity and have already had people purchasing theirs at recent events! 😍
••
You can order yours at our online store: 
http://www.bluestarservicedogs.org/shop 💌 Valentines will also be available at our event this Wednesday! The film “To Be of Service” will be showing at the Emagine Theatre in Canton! Event starts at 630p! This event is FREE so be sure to RSVP to see this film and get your Blue Star merch! We will be giving out goodies to attendees as well!! 🌟
••
Don’t miss out on these adorable Valentines! What a great, and easy, way to show your support! ••
#bluestarservicedogs #rescuingonetohealanother #february #valentines #showsupport #veterans #invisiblewounds #servicedog #giveback #love #hearts #dogs
  • 💌LIMITED EDITION! 💌

    For the first time ever, Blue Star has Valentines available for purchase! On behalf of someone you love..buy a valentine (or 6 😉) to support the veterans, dogs and inmates that make our program possible! ••
    This is only the front side...because the back has *exclusive* photos of our teams in training and our inmate handlers in action! We have limited quantity and have already had people purchasing theirs at recent events! 😍
    ••
    You can order yours at our online store:
    http://www.bluestarservicedogs.org/shop 💌 Valentines will also be available at our event this Wednesday! The film “To Be of Service” will be showing at the Emagine Theatre in Canton! Event starts at 630p! This event is FREE so be sure to RSVP to see this film and get your Blue Star merch! We will be giving out goodies to attendees as well!! 🌟
    ••
    Don’t miss out on these adorable Valentines! What a great, and easy, way to show your support! ••
    #bluestarservicedogs #rescuingonetohealanother #february #valentines #showsupport #veterans #invisiblewounds #servicedog #giveback #love #hearts #dogs
  • 14 0 3 February, 2020
  • I tell this to my clients all the time:
Before we knew about germs and physical healing we used to treat physical wounds different. Giant gash on your leg? Pack that sucker with dirt, tie it up and keep on going....
Until you get an infection and  lose your leg or worse eventually your life. 
We know now that you need to clean the wound, stitch it, wrap it, take care of it, treat it a little different until it gets closed up itself and starts to feel a bit better. It's itchy, uncomfortable, even painful healing. We know the signs of infection and seek help if it's not healing properly. 
Invisible wounds are not much different- except a lot of us still pack those soul wounds with dirt and can't figure out why it doesn't get better. Depression, anxiety, addiction, compulsions are embraced as "the problem" when they are actually SYMPTOMS to trauma. A sign of infection to the invisible wound. 
Here's the thing- invisible wounds need cleaned and taken care of also AND It's itchy, it's uncomfortable, it's painful and annoying. 
But next it gets better... and like the gash on the leg it may leave a scar- but that's just another story about your experiance- not a definition of you. 
You can heal invisible wounds. A good therapist can guide you through the process. 
#selflove #trauma #invisible #wounds #healing #mentalhealth  #therapy #therapist #life #mindfulness #mindful #love #msw #daily #struggle #heal #emotions #value #writing #invisiblewounds #care
#mentalhealthawareness #loveyourself #illness #wellness #trauma #treatment #definingyou #process #trusttheprocess
  • I tell this to my clients all the time:
    Before we knew about germs and physical healing we used to treat physical wounds different. Giant gash on your leg? Pack that sucker with dirt, tie it up and keep on going....
    Until you get an infection and lose your leg or worse eventually your life.
    We know now that you need to clean the wound, stitch it, wrap it, take care of it, treat it a little different until it gets closed up itself and starts to feel a bit better. It's itchy, uncomfortable, even painful healing. We know the signs of infection and seek help if it's not healing properly.
    Invisible wounds are not much different- except a lot of us still pack those soul wounds with dirt and can't figure out why it doesn't get better. Depression, anxiety, addiction, compulsions are embraced as "the problem" when they are actually SYMPTOMS to trauma. A sign of infection to the invisible wound.
    Here's the thing- invisible wounds need cleaned and taken care of also AND It's itchy, it's uncomfortable, it's painful and annoying.
    But next it gets better... and like the gash on the leg it may leave a scar- but that's just another story about your experiance- not a definition of you.
    You can heal invisible wounds. A good therapist can guide you through the process.
    #selflove #trauma #invisible #wounds #healing #mentalhealth #therapy #therapist #life #mindfulness #mindful #love #msw #daily #struggle #heal #emotions #value #writing #invisiblewounds #care
    #mentalhealthawareness #loveyourself #illness #wellness #trauma #treatment #definingyou #process #trusttheprocess
  • 6 2 3 February, 2020
  • HERIDAS EN LA ADVERSIDAD 
En tus ojos se perciben destellos de una larga lluvia de recuerdos,
Que ahora se juntan y dejan paz a manera de arcoiris.
 En tus mejillas aún quedan frescos rastros de humedad, 
Que poco a poco se van convirtiendo en un relieve imperceptible. 
Sobre tu espalda cargas tu pasado cubierto de grávido invierno,
Y aún así eres capaz de hacer florecer incontables virtudes.
En tu corazón ocurren constantes cataclismos ocasionados por quienes carecieron de tu bondad, 
Y aún así puedes transportar coraje y valentía en las venas. 
En tu piel ves con desaprobación las pequeñas capas de erosión que se encuentran,
yo veo reflejada una corteza construida por vigor y dinamismo. 
Das tan dura batalla,
que olvidas descansar.
No sigas las huellas de los demás,
Porque en sus pasos te perderás. 
Olvidate del tiempo,
Pues siempre da antes de quitar. 
Mantén tu ritmo,
Y tu alma harás sanar.
Camina a ciegas,
Teniendo confianza llegas.
Diluvia cuando sientas que te secas,
Florece cuando creas que sea hora. 
Y sin dar importancia a la futura demora,
Debes estar orgulloso de quien eres ahora.
❥Zaira Janet 
#zairajnt #inspirational #broke #sadgirl #peaceful #textosreflexivos #textospoeticos #textosbonitos #escrito #writer #invisiblewounds #pride #motivacionpersonal #emotivo
  • HERIDAS EN LA ADVERSIDAD
    En tus ojos se perciben destellos de una larga lluvia de recuerdos,
    Que ahora se juntan y dejan paz a manera de arcoiris.
    En tus mejillas aún quedan frescos rastros de humedad,
    Que poco a poco se van convirtiendo en un relieve imperceptible.
    Sobre tu espalda cargas tu pasado cubierto de grávido invierno,
    Y aún así eres capaz de hacer florecer incontables virtudes.
    En tu corazón ocurren constantes cataclismos ocasionados por quienes carecieron de tu bondad,
    Y aún así puedes transportar coraje y valentía en las venas.
    En tu piel ves con desaprobación las pequeñas capas de erosión que se encuentran,
    yo veo reflejada una corteza construida por vigor y dinamismo.
    Das tan dura batalla,
    que olvidas descansar.
    No sigas las huellas de los demás,
    Porque en sus pasos te perderás.
    Olvidate del tiempo,
    Pues siempre da antes de quitar.
    Mantén tu ritmo,
    Y tu alma harás sanar.
    Camina a ciegas,
    Teniendo confianza llegas.
    Diluvia cuando sientas que te secas,
    Florece cuando creas que sea hora.
    Y sin dar importancia a la futura demora,
    Debes estar orgulloso de quien eres ahora.
    ❥Zaira Janet
    #zairajnt #inspirational #broke #sadgirl #peaceful #textosreflexivos #textospoeticos #textosbonitos #escrito #writer #invisiblewounds #pride #motivacionpersonal #emotivo
  • 32 0 31 January, 2020
  • The jeans at the bottom of my drawer didn't bring me the satisfaction I was hoping for.

So then what?
I had waited years for this moment, to fit into jeans I deemed would be make me worthy.

So when there's nothing more you can push, nowhere else to sacrifice, then what?

I focusing on myself.
Looking at food to support me rather than starve me.
Find movement that made me feel alive rather than drained.
Which created an aliveness in me that no amount if weight loss ever could.

It gave me the drive and strength and want to do more and improve myself.
But this time, only for me.

And I know you've lost that.
The focus if yourself, in your own life.
Because you thought you needed to earn the worth before it was given.

Rather, it's realizing you are worthy enough NOW for the life you want, you know enough to make it work, and all that's left to do, is trust.

Which can be extremely hard when you've followed plans and rules and trends all your life, even without realizing it.

What I help you do is change this cycle forever, support you while your control back, hold you to the best version of yourself, and give you permission to rebel and rest as you learn to do it yourself.

Those jeans won't lift this block of worthless need to excel.
Only you can do that.

THEN any pair of jeans you crave will fit.
And this will just be your existence.
Without you needing to starve yourself first.
  • The jeans at the bottom of my drawer didn't bring me the satisfaction I was hoping for.

    So then what?
    I had waited years for this moment, to fit into jeans I deemed would be make me worthy.

    So when there's nothing more you can push, nowhere else to sacrifice, then what?

    I focusing on myself.
    Looking at food to support me rather than starve me.
    Find movement that made me feel alive rather than drained.
    Which created an aliveness in me that no amount if weight loss ever could.

    It gave me the drive and strength and want to do more and improve myself.
    But this time, only for me.

    And I know you've lost that.
    The focus if yourself, in your own life.
    Because you thought you needed to earn the worth before it was given.

    Rather, it's realizing you are worthy enough NOW for the life you want, you know enough to make it work, and all that's left to do, is trust.

    Which can be extremely hard when you've followed plans and rules and trends all your life, even without realizing it.

    What I help you do is change this cycle forever, support you while your control back, hold you to the best version of yourself, and give you permission to rebel and rest as you learn to do it yourself.

    Those jeans won't lift this block of worthless need to excel.
    Only you can do that.

    THEN any pair of jeans you crave will fit.
    And this will just be your existence.
    Without you needing to starve yourself first.
  • 21 1 30 January, 2020
  • This hustle built you, pushed you past your limits and showed you what's possible.
But it was someone else's version that you tried to make your own.

And now you're exhausted.
You feel like you're slowing down.
And your mind is running rampid with things you fear but could never be true.
ie. Losing muscle on rest days and gaining weight by just looking at the cereal isle.

You aren't weak or not trying hard enough.
You've put years towards this.

And it doesn't work for you.
But there IS a hustle, a drive, a motivation that is completely your own and doesn't feel hard.

It IS possible and you don't need to sacrifice pieces of you for it

It's not just for the "lucky".
It's for YOU.

And this is what I do.

I supoort those athletically driven, those competitive minds that have big things to do in this world, but are run down and exhausted with what's gotten them to this point.

Life is startijg to change and its freaking them out.
Because their diet routine is getting harder, their workouts are becoming more sporadic, the little sleep they were getting is becoming less and less and they keep chasing this validation they feel unworthy to give themselves.

Because the dream body isn't doing it.
The perfect fridge and meal prep isn't doing it.
The outworking everyone isn't doing it.

Because they hate to admit it, but they don't even like themselves anymore.
But they dare not say they're struggling because everyone relies in them to keep it together.

But it's time to let go of that perfection you can't obtain, and actually start LIVING.

The life you have in your mind is completely doable, and I want to support you in making that dream your true REALITY.

We dive deep into this in my 1:1 coaching.
And you get the exact support, accountability and high expectations for your life you crave.

You've done good with their hustle.
Now, let's make it your own.
  • This hustle built you, pushed you past your limits and showed you what's possible.
    But it was someone else's version that you tried to make your own.

    And now you're exhausted.
    You feel like you're slowing down.
    And your mind is running rampid with things you fear but could never be true.
    ie. Losing muscle on rest days and gaining weight by just looking at the cereal isle.

    You aren't weak or not trying hard enough.
    You've put years towards this.

    And it doesn't work for you.
    But there IS a hustle, a drive, a motivation that is completely your own and doesn't feel hard.

    It IS possible and you don't need to sacrifice pieces of you for it

    It's not just for the "lucky".
    It's for YOU.

    And this is what I do.

    I supoort those athletically driven, those competitive minds that have big things to do in this world, but are run down and exhausted with what's gotten them to this point.

    Life is startijg to change and its freaking them out.
    Because their diet routine is getting harder, their workouts are becoming more sporadic, the little sleep they were getting is becoming less and less and they keep chasing this validation they feel unworthy to give themselves.

    Because the dream body isn't doing it.
    The perfect fridge and meal prep isn't doing it.
    The outworking everyone isn't doing it.

    Because they hate to admit it, but they don't even like themselves anymore.
    But they dare not say they're struggling because everyone relies in them to keep it together.

    But it's time to let go of that perfection you can't obtain, and actually start LIVING.

    The life you have in your mind is completely doable, and I want to support you in making that dream your true REALITY.

    We dive deep into this in my 1:1 coaching.
    And you get the exact support, accountability and high expectations for your life you crave.

    You've done good with their hustle.
    Now, let's make it your own.
  • 27 4 30 January, 2020