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  • I resonated with this quote from the book I am listening to. The Courage to Heal

I hate that I ever believed that. I believed men were so weak to this response and I made it too easy sometimes. Men’s egos too fragile. It’s my fault. I hate that I used to tell people I was just a hole. I was just a kid.

A kid taught to be highly aware of people’s body parts, the way they looked, and how they are dressed. Too aware of my own body parts.

When you say no, it’s no and a normal person will not protest, get violent, do it anyway or shame and guilt you into giving it up.

That’s not flattery, that’s abuse.

And girls weren’t safe either. I was just a body, so alien because I would never do that to you but how could the world do that to me? There must be something wrong with me

Nothing was wrong with me. Not yet.
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#sexualassaultsurvivor #thoughtsofasurvivor #mybeautifulmess #lovingmyinnerchild #itsgettingbetter #imgrowingup #iwasjustakid #inmybubble #neveragain #thecouragetoheal
  • I resonated with this quote from the book I am listening to. The Courage to Heal

    I hate that I ever believed that. I believed men were so weak to this response and I made it too easy sometimes. Men’s egos too fragile. It’s my fault. I hate that I used to tell people I was just a hole. I was just a kid.

    A kid taught to be highly aware of people’s body parts, the way they looked, and how they are dressed. Too aware of my own body parts.

    When you say no, it’s no and a normal person will not protest, get violent, do it anyway or shame and guilt you into giving it up.

    That’s not flattery, that’s abuse.

    And girls weren’t safe either. I was just a body, so alien because I would never do that to you but how could the world do that to me? There must be something wrong with me

    Nothing was wrong with me. Not yet.
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    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    #sexualassaultsurvivor #thoughtsofasurvivor #mybeautifulmess #lovingmyinnerchild #itsgettingbetter #imgrowingup #iwasjustakid #inmybubble #neveragain #thecouragetoheal
  • 6 2 21 February, 2020
  • 2 versions of @harrystyles 🎼 adore you 🎼
  • 2 versions of @harrystyles 🎼 adore you 🎼
  • 210 43 14 February, 2020
  • Still not able to work, week 4 after trigger finger surgery. Cannot use my hand properly due to the swelling. But it's getting better and better every day thanks to hand physiotherapy
  • Still not able to work, week 4 after trigger finger surgery. Cannot use my hand properly due to the swelling. But it's getting better and better every day thanks to hand physiotherapy
  • 11 9 13 February, 2020
  • First signs of Spring in the desert.
  • First signs of Spring in the desert.
  • 50 2 10 February, 2020
  • The Hotdog never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The Hotdog will always kick you the real deal. The Hotdog is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Hotdog to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Henry Rollins, The Iron And The Soul . Ok, don’t be pissed at me, Hotdogs have been helping me deal with shit since 71’ and Henry Rollin “The Iron And The Soul” has been helping me deal with shit since I read it years back in the late 90’s. I just combined two of my favorite things, sorry not sorry. #henryrollins #hotdogs #dealwithit #helper #smile #roughweek #eatme #sorry #sorryhenryrollins #roughyear #sofar #itsgettingbetter (I replaced the word Iron with Hotdog) #freshlook #lift @henryandheidi sorry I just love them both so much.
  • The Hotdog never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The Hotdog will always kick you the real deal. The Hotdog is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Hotdog to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Henry Rollins, The Iron And The Soul . Ok, don’t be pissed at me, Hotdogs have been helping me deal with shit since 71’ and Henry Rollin “The Iron And The Soul” has been helping me deal with shit since I read it years back in the late 90’s. I just combined two of my favorite things, sorry not sorry. #henryrollins #hotdogs #dealwithit #helper #smile #roughweek #eatme #sorry #sorryhenryrollins #roughyear #sofar #itsgettingbetter (I replaced the word Iron with Hotdog) #freshlook #lift @henryandheidi sorry I just love them both so much.
  • 24 2 7 February, 2020
  • Hello everyone, 
I wanted to make an update about the live here on our farm, our progress and a little bit about myself as well. 
As you can see on the first image, we sadly have only one kitten left. Lilly, the other grey kitten was hit by a car and we are all deeply saddened by the loss. She was very brave and bold, traits I had admired about her which have lead to her death. She crossed the stress without looking and was run over.
This had happened to us 2 years ago when our beloved cat Masson was run over. We try to look after rosy now, but cats are not dogs, meaning we can't just tie her down or follow her everywhere. We just have to hope that rosy will be more careful. 
Life takes and gives, that's what we've learned living here on the farm. Just this last week we have gotten two new lambs from our sheeps and we couldn't be happier, even if a little bit of sadness is still lingering. The new lambs are both girls, both seem to be healthy. 
The first one we called Lilly to honour out beloved kitty, the second lamb we call Stella because she has a white star on her forehead.
My brother and I have taken to the old stable as well, we are renovating it, putting big windows in so there will be lots of sunshine. We are planning on renting two rooms in combination with a self build sauna. Just for a weekend so people can relax a little in the steam and then spend some time in the guest rooms. We also offer little tours of our farm and maybe in some years even horse back riding tours. 
I haven't been in the best place mentally lately but I'm trying to get better, I'm even thinking about going to therapy. 
I hope you on the other hand, have a wonderful time, don't let fate beat you down. 🌻 The last two pictures owners are tagged in them.

#farmanimals #farm #farmlife #cats #animals #kitten #cute #animal #sheepoffinstagram  #agriculture #country #nature #love #babyanimals #countrylife #goat #sheep #pupper #animalcruelty #animallovers #mehh #cuteanimals #countryside #germany #uelzen #mindpositivity #itsgettingbetter #therapy
  • Hello everyone,
    I wanted to make an update about the live here on our farm, our progress and a little bit about myself as well.
    As you can see on the first image, we sadly have only one kitten left. Lilly, the other grey kitten was hit by a car and we are all deeply saddened by the loss. She was very brave and bold, traits I had admired about her which have lead to her death. She crossed the stress without looking and was run over.
    This had happened to us 2 years ago when our beloved cat Masson was run over. We try to look after rosy now, but cats are not dogs, meaning we can't just tie her down or follow her everywhere. We just have to hope that rosy will be more careful.
    Life takes and gives, that's what we've learned living here on the farm. Just this last week we have gotten two new lambs from our sheeps and we couldn't be happier, even if a little bit of sadness is still lingering. The new lambs are both girls, both seem to be healthy.
    The first one we called Lilly to honour out beloved kitty, the second lamb we call Stella because she has a white star on her forehead.
    My brother and I have taken to the old stable as well, we are renovating it, putting big windows in so there will be lots of sunshine. We are planning on renting two rooms in combination with a self build sauna. Just for a weekend so people can relax a little in the steam and then spend some time in the guest rooms. We also offer little tours of our farm and maybe in some years even horse back riding tours.
    I haven't been in the best place mentally lately but I'm trying to get better, I'm even thinking about going to therapy.
    I hope you on the other hand, have a wonderful time, don't let fate beat you down. 🌻 The last two pictures owners are tagged in them.

    #farmanimals #farm #farmlife #cats #animals #kitten #cute #animal #sheepoffinstagram #agriculture #country #nature #love #babyanimals #countrylife #goat #sheep #pupper #animalcruelty #animallovers #mehh #cuteanimals #countryside #germany #uelzen #mindpositivity #itsgettingbetter #therapy
  • 40 0 3 February, 2020
  • So lately i've had a lot of self hate I suppose it's mainly because I'm afraid of what's ahead, and I regret some decisions I have made up to this point in life. I'm not one who makes plans for the future, I am afraid of failing. I'm still trying to figure things out and sometimes it feels like I have a puzzle to complete but with no pieces.. Anyway thats enough sad vibes for now here's a rare selfie and some art I was working on for a future project. #imnotokayandthatsokay #someartimade #itsgettingbetter
  • So lately i've had a lot of self hate I suppose it's mainly because I'm afraid of what's ahead, and I regret some decisions I have made up to this point in life. I'm not one who makes plans for the future, I am afraid of failing. I'm still trying to figure things out and sometimes it feels like I have a puzzle to complete but with no pieces.. Anyway thats enough sad vibes for now here's a rare selfie and some art I was working on for a future project. #imnotokayandthatsokay #someartimade #itsgettingbetter
  • 19 3 3 February, 2020
  • Let the trouble begin.  We had our first successful play outside.  #itsgettingbetter
  • Let the trouble begin. We had our first successful play outside. #itsgettingbetter
  • 41 0 3 February, 2020