Heyhey! This is my first post on this account, so, lemmie give you some basic info about me and my beloved!
•I will be referred to as M
•I prefer they/them pronouns
•I am 15 years old
•My beloved will be referred to as J
•My beloved prefers she/her pronouns
•My beloved is also 15 years old
I have been infatuated with my beloved for the past 2+ years. She didn't know about my obsession with her. The more recent half of that time, she had a boyfriend. We'll refer to him as G. Of course, I was furious with this. I harmed myself both mentally and physically over it, since I felt that if I told her, it would mess with her relationship. Of course, I didn't want them together, but I also didn't want to hurt her.
This past Thursday, she broke up with G. I was ecstatic about this, but I pretend to be upset about it. I knew they weren't right for eachother anyway. That same afternoon, though, I let it slip. I accidentally said I had feelings for her, and I knew I had to explain. I told her about how I had feelings for her for the past two years, maybe longer. She didn't give me much of a reaction to my confession.
Now, Saturday comes by. J was acting weird, and I could tell just through the texts. I asked her what the matter was, and she admitted she had feelings for me. Not just me, but two girls aswell. We'll call them C and S. When J told me this, I was mad, but I acted like everything was fine. I asked her if she would like me to ask C and S how they felt about J. C said no, and S gave a maybe, and when I asked her to elaborate on that, she ignored me.
I truthfully reported back to J. Of course, I didn't want to tell the truth and give S a chance, considering that she said gave a maybe, but at the same time, I didn't want to break apart J's feelings for me if she somehow found out I lied. Anyway, J just said "Got it!" and went on with her day.
Naturally, I really, really, wanna hurt S. I want to hurt C aswell, but not as much, since she gave a hard no. And that brings us to why I made this account. To talk about C, S, and of course, my love for J, aswell as some other minor things.
Thank you all for reading! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!
“They say love is blind...but it isn't. Love is perfect sight. Love is the ability to see a person, I mean really see him-his strengths, his weaknesses, his flaws, all his past triumphs and mistakes-and view that person not as the world says you're supposed to see him, but as you see him-as that special someone you know you will always embrace, body and soul, no matter what anyone else says or thinks
I know I can't tell anyone what I've been through. I know they wouldn't understand. They don't see him the way that I see him. All they know is the legend, the darkness. They don't know the inner beauty, the warmth and the joy more intense than anything I ever thought was possible to experience.
They don't know the truth behind the name.
17113 hours ago
“I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now.”
16113 hours ago
"I don't want to be a man.” "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead." ——
Happy spooky month y’all :))
spook month has been fucking amazing because of a certain someone <3
A letter to you. I need your soul next to mine. Your heart, touching mine. You are my favorite place. You saved me from the world. Crazy? I know. Always knew the world could be so cruel, but the world gave me you. You made someone like me so fragile and vulnerable. You make figuring it out worth it. You are worth it. I wish everyone knew how much of a soft spirit you are. Making eyecontact with you was the best decision my body has ever done. •