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  • 💗 Bringing this one back for Valentine’s Day – because ‘love bombing’ also happens in narcissistic families.
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💗 If you have identified someone in your family as a narcissist and they are ‘love bombing’ you after a long history of abuse, please know it is only done as a means to their ends. They have not changed so please keep your guard up!.
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💗 This post is also applicable to narcissistic in-laws.
.
💗 Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
♥️💌🎈🌹🍾🥂♥️💌🎈🌹🍾🥂
  • 💗 Bringing this one back for Valentine’s Day – because ‘love bombing’ also happens in narcissistic families.
    .
    💗 If you have identified someone in your family as a narcissist and they are ‘love bombing’ you after a long history of abuse, please know it is only done as a means to their ends. They have not changed so please keep your guard up!.
    .
    💗 This post is also applicable to narcissistic in-laws.
    .
    💗 Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
    ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
    ♥️💌🎈🌹🍾🥂♥️💌🎈🌹🍾🥂
  • 487 27 14 February, 2020
  • It’s sad for the #narc’s next victim obviously, especially given that the narc will react to the fact they weren’t able to truly break you down by seeking out a new victim who’s #LowHangingFruit and super impressionable/vulnerable.
This is the point at which you will see the #narcissist target the first male or female they find who responds to their greasy veneer of charm.  This may be the store clerk at their grocery store, the receptionist who checks them into their motel, a sex worker they met on the street, their next door neighbour, a random local drug addict, etc.  As long as the new target looks up to the narc and is impressed by the narc's lies, it's all good. 
If the new victim hails from a poverty-stricken country or is less educated than the narc, or much younger than the narc, doesn't speak the narc's language fluently, is looking for a meal ticket or a passport and/or is straight-up desperate, that's even better as far as the narc's concerned.  It's all about that narcissistic supply. .
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You -- the "rejected" former narc supply failed at your job of propping up the narc's dysfunctional ego.  Which means that actually you have won at life.
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#luckyescape #narcissistfree #narcissisticsupply #rejectionisgodsprotection #levelup #narcissisticabuse #lifeafternarc #notmycircusnotmymonkeys
  • It’s sad for the #narc ’s next victim obviously, especially given that the narc will react to the fact they weren’t able to truly break you down by seeking out a new victim who’s #LowHangingFruit and super impressionable/vulnerable.
    This is the point at which you will see the #narcissist target the first male or female they find who responds to their greasy veneer of charm. This may be the store clerk at their grocery store, the receptionist who checks them into their motel, a sex worker they met on the street, their next door neighbour, a random local drug addict, etc. As long as the new target looks up to the narc and is impressed by the narc's lies, it's all good.
    If the new victim hails from a poverty-stricken country or is less educated than the narc, or much younger than the narc, doesn't speak the narc's language fluently, is looking for a meal ticket or a passport and/or is straight-up desperate, that's even better as far as the narc's concerned. It's all about that narcissistic supply. .
    .
    .

    You -- the "rejected" former narc supply failed at your job of propping up the narc's dysfunctional ego. Which means that actually you have won at life.
    .
    .
    .
    #luckyescape #narcissistfree #narcissisticsupply #rejectionisgodsprotection #levelup #narcissisticabuse #lifeafternarc #notmycircusnotmymonkeys
  • 1,120 61 25 April, 2019
  • Yes!!
  • Yes!!
  • 1,051 17 15 February, 2020

Latest Instagram Posts

  • Spirituality is so nourishing and healing. Believing, trusting, surrendering has saved me and lead me to this place. It's expanded my heart and cracked open my soul. I love and live for all the woo. But spirituality has also led me down a path I wish I could have avoided. Becoming a person that was too soft, too trusting, too open, too forgiving, too accepting, too compassionate, too empathetic.

Spirituality has a dark side. I've been taken advantage of by so-called spiritual beings, lovers, teachers and guides. I've been an empath all my life and I'm highly sensitive; I've also endured C-PTSD and experiened anxiety all of my life. I've also always been a target for abusive people because of the covert and sometimes malignant abuse in my upbringing. I've chosen men like my father. I've accepted and loved people who have harmed me, betrayed me and used me. I've hired coaches who were inauthentic. I've worked with healers who have taken advantage of me.
This is the thing, spirituality can't be bought or taught. It's that thing within you, it's here to guide you. It's all around you.

The connection between mind, body and spirit says it all. As an adult, I first learned about the physical body - health, wellness, fitness, nutrition. I guess I leaned the basics as a kid. Once I started the separation journey from my ex-husband, I met my soul and stepped into spirituality. That lead me to an abusive relationship that I just couldn't escape or wrap my head around; which led me to learning about my mind and psychology. A healthy spirituality comes with being whole. If your mind is weak or uneducated, watch out. You're a spiritual narcissists greatest supply. Even if your mind is educated, but your spirituality is weak, ie. you're fresh on your path and seeking externally, your mind may be overtaken by your lack of the spiritual strength of knowing.
Learning about matters of the mind is equally as important as leaning into spirituality.
My gut knew. But my mind wasn’t there yet. I had to go through that to grow. I trust it happened for me, to educate on the dangers of psychopathy;  it’s way more common than we know and it’s something very few truly understand.
  • Spirituality is so nourishing and healing. Believing, trusting, surrendering has saved me and lead me to this place. It's expanded my heart and cracked open my soul. I love and live for all the woo. But spirituality has also led me down a path I wish I could have avoided. Becoming a person that was too soft, too trusting, too open, too forgiving, too accepting, too compassionate, too empathetic.

    Spirituality has a dark side. I've been taken advantage of by so-called spiritual beings, lovers, teachers and guides. I've been an empath all my life and I'm highly sensitive; I've also endured C-PTSD and experiened anxiety all of my life. I've also always been a target for abusive people because of the covert and sometimes malignant abuse in my upbringing. I've chosen men like my father. I've accepted and loved people who have harmed me, betrayed me and used me. I've hired coaches who were inauthentic. I've worked with healers who have taken advantage of me.
    This is the thing, spirituality can't be bought or taught. It's that thing within you, it's here to guide you. It's all around you.

    The connection between mind, body and spirit says it all. As an adult, I first learned about the physical body - health, wellness, fitness, nutrition. I guess I leaned the basics as a kid. Once I started the separation journey from my ex-husband, I met my soul and stepped into spirituality. That lead me to an abusive relationship that I just couldn't escape or wrap my head around; which led me to learning about my mind and psychology. A healthy spirituality comes with being whole. If your mind is weak or uneducated, watch out. You're a spiritual narcissists greatest supply. Even if your mind is educated, but your spirituality is weak, ie. you're fresh on your path and seeking externally, your mind may be overtaken by your lack of the spiritual strength of knowing.
    Learning about matters of the mind is equally as important as leaning into spirituality.
    My gut knew. But my mind wasn’t there yet. I had to go through that to grow. I trust it happened for me, to educate on the dangers of psychopathy; it’s way more common than we know and it’s something very few truly understand.
  • 21 2 2 hours ago
  • Malignant narcissists love putting their targets in one bad situation after another by design. They do this to feed off of the victim’s distress, and also garner Narcissistic Supply from playing the hero.
~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
  • Malignant narcissists love putting their targets in one bad situation after another by design. They do this to feed off of the victim’s distress, and also garner Narcissistic Supply from playing the hero.
    ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
  • 262 16 4 hours ago
  • Please note, in this post I’m talking about narcissistic parents. There is a world of difference between invading your children’s privacy out of genuine concern for their safety and well-being, and snooping with malicious intent. I totally agree that in some cases snooping is justified, such as when your child exhibits a worrying change in their behavior. Also, these days children’s online safety is paramount, so parents should be mindful about what their children are doing on the internet.
~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh 💞💞💞💞💞💞
  • Please note, in this post I’m talking about narcissistic parents. There is a world of difference between invading your children’s privacy out of genuine concern for their safety and well-being, and snooping with malicious intent. I totally agree that in some cases snooping is justified, such as when your child exhibits a worrying change in their behavior. Also, these days children’s online safety is paramount, so parents should be mindful about what their children are doing on the internet.
    ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh 💞💞💞💞💞💞
  • 991 120 10 hours ago
  • Staying out of contact with your ex is one of the most important things you can do when recovering from a breakup or from a divorce.

When a break up happens, a person feels hurt. In fact, it has been proven that the brain treats physical and psychological pain similarly. In essence, as a result of the breakup, the brain detects a wound. In order for the wound to be healed, it needs to be treated.

Think of No Contact as initiating the healing process, acting as the white blood cells and platelets found in a human's immune system. The white blood cells fight off negative emotions, while the platelets will clot the wound. Similar to a physical wound, the healing will take time. You have to be patient.

In addition, you should know that if you want to heal from the hurt created as a result of the breakup, you need to admit that you have a wound that needs to be treated. If you live in denial, your heart will continue to ache, which may lead to physical illness.

When you are no longer in contact with your ex, the images of them will begin fading day by day. Thoughts of them will begin dwindling, and you will stop missing them so much. In contrast, contact with your ex would keep you from healing and will keep reminding you of the failed relationship, and that you are no longer together.

When you’re not in contact with them, you’ll be in a good place to think clearly and know what is required of you in order to ease the pain. Eventually, you won't feel pain from the breakup anymore, and you'll be able to see your ex without falling apart. This also applies to your ex, who also needs time away from you in order to heal, no matter who broke up with who.

During the No Contact period, you will learn the importance of forgiveness and of dealing with negative emotions without your ex. 
#takebackyourlink #narcawareness #gaslighting #lifecoach #motivationalquotes #loveaddiction #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticsupply
  • Staying out of contact with your ex is one of the most important things you can do when recovering from a breakup or from a divorce.

    When a break up happens, a person feels hurt. In fact, it has been proven that the brain treats physical and psychological pain similarly. In essence, as a result of the breakup, the brain detects a wound. In order for the wound to be healed, it needs to be treated.

    Think of No Contact as initiating the healing process, acting as the white blood cells and platelets found in a human's immune system. The white blood cells fight off negative emotions, while the platelets will clot the wound. Similar to a physical wound, the healing will take time. You have to be patient.

    In addition, you should know that if you want to heal from the hurt created as a result of the breakup, you need to admit that you have a wound that needs to be treated. If you live in denial, your heart will continue to ache, which may lead to physical illness.

    When you are no longer in contact with your ex, the images of them will begin fading day by day. Thoughts of them will begin dwindling, and you will stop missing them so much. In contrast, contact with your ex would keep you from healing and will keep reminding you of the failed relationship, and that you are no longer together.

    When you’re not in contact with them, you’ll be in a good place to think clearly and know what is required of you in order to ease the pain. Eventually, you won't feel pain from the breakup anymore, and you'll be able to see your ex without falling apart. This also applies to your ex, who also needs time away from you in order to heal, no matter who broke up with who.

    During the No Contact period, you will learn the importance of forgiveness and of dealing with negative emotions without your ex.
    #takebackyourlink #narcawareness #gaslighting #lifecoach #motivationalquotes #loveaddiction #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticsupply
  • 279 23 18 hours ago
  • The Cognitive Dissonance of the "good" acts of a covert narcissist will confuse you about who they are, even when you're seeing the cracks in their mask. They always have plausible deniability. You will find yourself doubting your intuition and perception of reality.
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For more info, watch the video ‘2 Kinds of COVERT Narcissists’ on YouTube.
  • The Cognitive Dissonance of the "good" acts of a covert narcissist will confuse you about who they are, even when you're seeing the cracks in their mask. They always have plausible deniability. You will find yourself doubting your intuition and perception of reality.
    .
    For more info, watch the video ‘2 Kinds of COVERT Narcissists’ on YouTube.
  • 832 52 17 February, 2020
  • 🔵 The narcissists’ enablers/flying monkeys are just as guilty, and fully complicit in the abuse. They are usually somewhat narcissistic themselves, and secretly derive satisfaction from seeing the carnage unfold.
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🔵 In some ways, the enablers are actually worse than the Narcissist In Charge and here’s why:
➡️ They get off on the manufactured chaos and deviously feed off of the victim’s pain whilst pretending they’re ‘not involved.’
➡️ You often find the narcissist’s enablers are the ones deviously pulling all the strings behind the scenes.
➡️ They play the martyr with delight, and when it suits them, will leverage situations where the narcissist starts on them to play the victim.
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🔵 Please note, when I talk about enablers I don’t mean background characters in the narcissist’s life who usually have no idea what’s going on. Nor do I mean other victims caught up in the narcissist’s web of lies acting out of self-preservation. I’m talking about those who turn out to be covert narcissist’s themselves, which in my experience, is most of them.
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🔵 While an enabler can be anyone, it is typically someone close to the narcissist, such as their parent, sibling, friend, or spouse. Examples:
➡️ An enabling mother in-law to your narcissistic spouse – the dreaded enmeshed mother and son duo.
➡️ An enabling father to your narcissistic mother – the nightmare Mr & Mrs Narczilla pair.
~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
  • 🔵 The narcissists’ enablers/flying monkeys are just as guilty, and fully complicit in the abuse. They are usually somewhat narcissistic themselves, and secretly derive satisfaction from seeing the carnage unfold.
    .
    🔵 In some ways, the enablers are actually worse than the Narcissist In Charge and here’s why:
    ➡️ They get off on the manufactured chaos and deviously feed off of the victim’s pain whilst pretending they’re ‘not involved.’
    ➡️ You often find the narcissist’s enablers are the ones deviously pulling all the strings behind the scenes.
    ➡️ They play the martyr with delight, and when it suits them, will leverage situations where the narcissist starts on them to play the victim.
    .
    🔵 Please note, when I talk about enablers I don’t mean background characters in the narcissist’s life who usually have no idea what’s going on. Nor do I mean other victims caught up in the narcissist’s web of lies acting out of self-preservation. I’m talking about those who turn out to be covert narcissist’s themselves, which in my experience, is most of them.
    .
    🔵 While an enabler can be anyone, it is typically someone close to the narcissist, such as their parent, sibling, friend, or spouse. Examples:
    ➡️ An enabling mother in-law to your narcissistic spouse – the dreaded enmeshed mother and son duo.
    ➡️ An enabling father to your narcissistic mother – the nightmare Mr & Mrs Narczilla pair.
    ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
  • 609 59 16 February, 2020
  • Abusers are fully conscious when they abuse without a shadow of a doubt. I know this is a difficult truth to accept, but these behaviors are decisions; abusers really do hurt others intentionally, and they execute their despicable deeds with gusto.
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💜Always remember, there is NEVER any excuse for abuse!
💜The perpetrator is always FULLY RESPONSIBLE for their actions!
💜You’ve done absolutely NOTHING to deserve it!
💜Abuse is ALWAYS unjustifiable, and NEVER your fault!
~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
  • Abusers are fully conscious when they abuse without a shadow of a doubt. I know this is a difficult truth to accept, but these behaviors are decisions; abusers really do hurt others intentionally, and they execute their despicable deeds with gusto.
    .
    💜Always remember, there is NEVER any excuse for abuse!
    💜The perpetrator is always FULLY RESPONSIBLE for their actions!
    💜You’ve done absolutely NOTHING to deserve it!
    💜Abuse is ALWAYS unjustifiable, and NEVER your fault!
    ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
  • 664 44 16 February, 2020
  • They are masters of disguise. On the outside they appear generous, humanitarian, altruistic and decent. They are often philanthropists.
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But in reality they're extremely perverted. They manipulate people by offering their "help", but that help always has strings attached. They will use and abuse people to serve their agenda.
.
For more info, watch the video ‘2 Kinds of COVERT Narcissists’ on YouTube.
  • They are masters of disguise. On the outside they appear generous, humanitarian, altruistic and decent. They are often philanthropists.
    .
    But in reality they're extremely perverted. They manipulate people by offering their "help", but that help always has strings attached. They will use and abuse people to serve their agenda.
    .
    For more info, watch the video ‘2 Kinds of COVERT Narcissists’ on YouTube.
  • 545 25 15 February, 2020
  • Even if/when the abuser was nice to you, it wasn’t about you. 
They were simply projecting their happy feelings about having good #narcissisticsupply to feed off.
You were useful to them; they felt happiness.  Until they didn’t. 
Clinging onto any moments or even months or years when they were quite nice to you & waiting for those times to return is an effective way to throw your life away & deprive yourself of real love (self-love, love from people who aren’t unhinged, etc).
.
.
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If you were dealing with a pathological narcissist or a sociopath you will not have been the only person they’ve abused.
I was fortunate enough to hear from two women who’ve said the sociopath who abused me also abused them.
There were many similarities in the abuse he meted out to each of us, and some differences , and what’s important is that there is a pattern.
.
.
#NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder & #AntiSocialPersonalityDisorder are serious psychiatric disorders.  Individuals with these disorders have deeply ingrained maladaptive behaviours that are a permanent part of their personality (hence the term personality disorder). This is not just some individual simply choosing to be an asshole with certain people.  This is who they are. 
Theoretically the disordered person’s disturbed behaviour could be MANAGED (though not cured) via long-term psychotherapy.  However, this is a subject I’ve discussed with numerous  psychologist & psychotherapist colleagues & I’ve not  heard of a case where a person with NPD or ASPD managed to change their ways.
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.
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Narcs/socioapaths are fighting imaginary battles inside their own heads every day & if you stay around them you’ll simply get caught in the cross fire.  It’s not worth it.  They are not worth it. <CONTINUES IN COMMENTS>
.
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Life After Narc is a certified Life Coach offering online classes & coaching for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors & Empaths worldwide.  Click link in bio for further information
  • Even if/when the abuser was nice to you, it wasn’t about you.
    They were simply projecting their happy feelings about having good #narcissisticsupply to feed off.
    You were useful to them; they felt happiness.  Until they didn’t.
    Clinging onto any moments or even months or years when they were quite nice to you & waiting for those times to return is an effective way to throw your life away & deprive yourself of real love (self-love, love from people who aren’t unhinged, etc).
    .
    .
    .
    If you were dealing with a pathological narcissist or a sociopath you will not have been the only person they’ve abused.
    I was fortunate enough to hear from two women who’ve said the sociopath who abused me also abused them.
    There were many similarities in the abuse he meted out to each of us, and some differences , and what’s important is that there is a pattern.
    .
    .
    #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder & #AntiSocialPersonalityDisorder are serious psychiatric disorders.  Individuals with these disorders have deeply ingrained maladaptive behaviours that are a permanent part of their personality (hence the term personality disorder). This is not just some individual simply choosing to be an asshole with certain people.  This is who they are.
    Theoretically the disordered person’s disturbed behaviour could be MANAGED (though not cured) via long-term psychotherapy.  However, this is a subject I’ve discussed with numerous  psychologist & psychotherapist colleagues & I’ve not  heard of a case where a person with NPD or ASPD managed to change their ways.
    .
    .
    .

    Narcs/socioapaths are fighting imaginary battles inside their own heads every day & if you stay around them you’ll simply get caught in the cross fire.  It’s not worth it.  They are not worth it.
    .
    .

    Life After Narc is a certified Life Coach offering online classes & coaching for Narcissistic Abuse Survivors & Empaths worldwide.  Click link in bio for further information
  • 266 15 15 February, 2020
  • This question was submitted to the help desk and she needs advice.Please give suggestions in the comment section @self_esteem_rehab
  • This question was submitted to the help desk and she needs advice.Please give suggestions in the comment section @self_esteem_rehab
  • 85 5 15 February, 2020
  • Yes!!
  • Yes!!
  • 1,051 17 15 February, 2020
  • The narcissistic supply that they're looking for is status as hero or savior. They want to have control and power over others and they want to be admired. They will use their "help" to create a sense of debt in their targets and then feel entitled to use them at their will.
.
For more info, watch the video ‘2 Kinds of COVERT Narcissists’ on YouTube.
  • The narcissistic supply that they're looking for is status as hero or savior. They want to have control and power over others and they want to be admired. They will use their "help" to create a sense of debt in their targets and then feel entitled to use them at their will.
    .
    For more info, watch the video ‘2 Kinds of COVERT Narcissists’ on YouTube.
  • 554 43 15 February, 2020
  • 💗 In case anyone needs this reminder today: The Silent Treatment is pernicious calculated abuse inflicted by narcissists and other toxics, whereas No Contact is a boundary implemented by survivors to protect themselves from further abuse -- including the dreaded Silent Treatment -- from narcissists, and therein lies the difference.
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💗 Going No Contact is a huge step, and often an extremely difficult and painful decision for abuse survivors. There is no hidden agenda. It is usually put in place as a last resort so the target can start healing, and protect themselves from further suffering.
.
💗 Yet narcissists (and their fan club) love to rewrite history and play the victim, claiming that by going No Contact (or implementing any sort of boundary such as Careful Contact if strict No Contact isn’t possible), the victim is the one abusing THEM.
.
💗 To those of you who have recently implemented the No Contact regime with your abusers, please don’t second guess yourself. You did the right thing!
.
💗 I hope everyone is having a Happy Valentine’s Day! Much love,
~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
💗💗💗💗💗💗
  • 💗 In case anyone needs this reminder today: The Silent Treatment is pernicious calculated abuse inflicted by narcissists and other toxics, whereas No Contact is a boundary implemented by survivors to protect themselves from further abuse -- including the dreaded Silent Treatment -- from narcissists, and therein lies the difference.
    .
    💗 Going No Contact is a huge step, and often an extremely difficult and painful decision for abuse survivors. There is no hidden agenda. It is usually put in place as a last resort so the target can start healing, and protect themselves from further suffering.
    .
    💗 Yet narcissists (and their fan club) love to rewrite history and play the victim, claiming that by going No Contact (or implementing any sort of boundary such as Careful Contact if strict No Contact isn’t possible), the victim is the one abusing THEM.
    .
    💗 To those of you who have recently implemented the No Contact regime with your abusers, please don’t second guess yourself. You did the right thing!
    .
    💗 I hope everyone is having a Happy Valentine’s Day! Much love,
    ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
    💗💗💗💗💗💗
  • 717 27 14 February, 2020
  • Be like Squidward and nonchalantly ignore it! In case anyone missed my caption in yesterday’s post, here:
.
💌 Valentine’s Day presents the perfect opportunity for toxic ex lovers or spouses to execute a Hoover Maneuver.
.
♥️ They may test the waters by sending you a vague message laced with manipulation.
.
🌹 Or they might go all out with grandiose gestures, such as having a huge bunch of roses delivered to your home or work.
.
💌 Please remember they’re toying with you, and trying to ascertain whether you’re still a good source of narcissistic supply.
.
♥️ Also, the abuser sees your No Contact regime as a challenge.
.
🌹 They haven't changed no matter what BS they may tell you, so please be prepared to keep your guard up.
.
💌 If you're already No Contact with the narcissist, please stay strictly No Contact and nonchalantly ignore their manipulative Hoover attempts this Valentine’s Day.
.
♥️ If the narcissist sends you a gift (bait!), or a card, don’t panic, just throw it straight in the garbage without even opening it.
.
🌹 Remember, any reaction from you (even sending something back to them) is breaking No Contact, and also provides the toxic person with narc fodder, so please avoid 'returning to sender' or retaliating in any way. Responding will also delay your healing big time, so please stick with No Contact.
.
💌 For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, ‘Hoovering’ is when a narcissist you’ve previously gone No Contact with randomly touches base hoping to bait you into a response, and suck you back into the abuse cycle.
~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
  • Be like Squidward and nonchalantly ignore it! In case anyone missed my caption in yesterday’s post, here:
    .
    💌 Valentine’s Day presents the perfect opportunity for toxic ex lovers or spouses to execute a Hoover Maneuver.
    .
    ♥️ They may test the waters by sending you a vague message laced with manipulation.
    .
    🌹 Or they might go all out with grandiose gestures, such as having a huge bunch of roses delivered to your home or work.
    .
    💌 Please remember they’re toying with you, and trying to ascertain whether you’re still a good source of narcissistic supply.
    .
    ♥️ Also, the abuser sees your No Contact regime as a challenge.
    .
    🌹 They haven't changed no matter what BS they may tell you, so please be prepared to keep your guard up.
    .
    💌 If you're already No Contact with the narcissist, please stay strictly No Contact and nonchalantly ignore their manipulative Hoover attempts this Valentine’s Day.
    .
    ♥️ If the narcissist sends you a gift (bait!), or a card, don’t panic, just throw it straight in the garbage without even opening it.
    .
    🌹 Remember, any reaction from you (even sending something back to them) is breaking No Contact, and also provides the toxic person with narc fodder, so please avoid 'returning to sender' or retaliating in any way. Responding will also delay your healing big time, so please stick with No Contact.
    .
    💌 For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, ‘Hoovering’ is when a narcissist you’ve previously gone No Contact with randomly touches base hoping to bait you into a response, and suck you back into the abuse cycle.
    ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
  • 294 20 14 February, 2020
  • 💗 Bringing this one back for Valentine’s Day – because ‘love bombing’ also happens in narcissistic families.
.
💗 If you have identified someone in your family as a narcissist and they are ‘love bombing’ you after a long history of abuse, please know it is only done as a means to their ends. They have not changed so please keep your guard up!.
.
💗 This post is also applicable to narcissistic in-laws.
.
💗 Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
♥️💌🎈🌹🍾🥂♥️💌🎈🌹🍾🥂
  • 💗 Bringing this one back for Valentine’s Day – because ‘love bombing’ also happens in narcissistic families.
    .
    💗 If you have identified someone in your family as a narcissist and they are ‘love bombing’ you after a long history of abuse, please know it is only done as a means to their ends. They have not changed so please keep your guard up!.
    .
    💗 This post is also applicable to narcissistic in-laws.
    .
    💗 Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
    ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh
    ♥️💌🎈🌹🍾🥂♥️💌🎈🌹🍾🥂
  • 487 27 14 February, 2020
  • In this episode, Matthew will discuss the intelligence of the Narcissist. Intelligence is a quality that most people find attractive, and it just so happens that narcissistic people are Intelligent. 
For a full length episode tune in to Toxic to Triumph on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Iheartradio, Pandora or any other major podcast platform.

If you have a question you would like answered on the podcast or would like to work with me. Visit mattphifercoaching.com
  • In this episode, Matthew will discuss the intelligence of the Narcissist. Intelligence is a quality that most people find attractive, and it just so happens that narcissistic people are Intelligent.
    For a full length episode tune in to Toxic to Triumph on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Iheartradio, Pandora or any other major podcast platform.

    If you have a question you would like answered on the podcast or would like to work with me. Visit mattphifercoaching.com
  • 15 1 14 February, 2020
  • They tried to bury me, but they didn't realize I was a seed.
  • They tried to bury me, but they didn't realize I was a seed.
  • 26 2 14 February, 2020
  • The "victim" type of covert narcissist loves to masquerade as the empath. It's often their personal life motto.
.
Many times this kind of narcissist is confused with people who are actually codependents and empaths, since they will appear to be very accommodating at first.
.
For more info, watch the video ‘2 Kinds of COVERT Narcissists’ on YouTube.
  • The "victim" type of covert narcissist loves to masquerade as the empath. It's often their personal life motto.
    .
    Many times this kind of narcissist is confused with people who are actually codependents and empaths, since they will appear to be very accommodating at first.
    .
    For more info, watch the video ‘2 Kinds of COVERT Narcissists’ on YouTube.
  • 579 31 14 February, 2020
  • Please stay strictly No Contact with the narcissist on Valentine’s Day and don’t be like Cheer Bear! 🤣
~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh ❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕
  • Please stay strictly No Contact with the narcissist on Valentine’s Day and don’t be like Cheer Bear! 🤣
    ~ @dont_gaslight_me_bruh ❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕
  • 272 20 13 February, 2020
  • In this episode, Matthew will discuss parental alienation. The narcissist uses children as a part of their tactic to remain in control and to punish. 
A full length episode can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Iheartradio, Pandora Radio and any other major podcast platforms.

If you would like to ask a question to be answered on a future podcast or would like my help personally go to mattphifercoaching.com.
  • In this episode, Matthew will discuss parental alienation. The narcissist uses children as a part of their tactic to remain in control and to punish.
    A full length episode can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Iheartradio, Pandora Radio and any other major podcast platforms.

    If you would like to ask a question to be answered on a future podcast or would like my help personally go to mattphifercoaching.com.
  • 17 1 13 February, 2020
  • 46 1 13 February, 2020
  • As I discussed in my post from earlier this evening, victim-shaming and abuser-defending continue to flourish despite how fiercely protective I am of this community. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times I make it crystal clear that I have zero tolerance for this behavior, it still keeps happening. It’s disheartening how these narcissistic bullies have the audacity to screw with us, but please know I’m doing my absolute best to keep our community as safe as possible.
.
I think many narcissists know we’re onto them, and because narcissism information is spreading like wildfire they’re running out of targets. So what do they do? They wreak havoc in the survivor community by spreading misinformation, bullying survivors, defending abusers, and being extremely rude. I’m so sick and tired of dealing with it.
.
If you ever see anything like this happening anywhere in our community, please let me know ASAP if you feel comfortable so I can report and preemptively block the harmful people behind these toxic accounts. Thank you so much. I hope everyone is having a peaceful week! Love and hugs, 
@dont_gaslight_me_bruh 💜💜💜💜💜💜
  • As I discussed in my post from earlier this evening, victim-shaming and abuser-defending continue to flourish despite how fiercely protective I am of this community. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times I make it crystal clear that I have zero tolerance for this behavior, it still keeps happening. It’s disheartening how these narcissistic bullies have the audacity to screw with us, but please know I’m doing my absolute best to keep our community as safe as possible.
    .
    I think many narcissists know we’re onto them, and because narcissism information is spreading like wildfire they’re running out of targets. So what do they do? They wreak havoc in the survivor community by spreading misinformation, bullying survivors, defending abusers, and being extremely rude. I’m so sick and tired of dealing with it.
    .
    If you ever see anything like this happening anywhere in our community, please let me know ASAP if you feel comfortable so I can report and preemptively block the harmful people behind these toxic accounts. Thank you so much. I hope everyone is having a peaceful week! Love and hugs,
    @dont_gaslight_me_bruh 💜💜💜💜💜💜
  • 385 26 13 February, 2020
  • VICTIM-SHAMING A CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVOR – ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS?! The following incident actually happened over the weekend but I’ve been too upset to write about it until now. So a vile victim-blamer came in on their high horse to forgiveness-shame a childhood sexual abuse survivor. The survivor had previously commented on one of my posts talking about how she was immediately forgiveness-shamed after opening up to a trusted friend about the sexual abuse she endured as a child. So what did this vile troll do? They parroted back exactly what the so-called friend said about the importance of forgiving a peodophile, and proceeded to lecture her about holding onto bitterness. Absolutely no empathy for a childhood abuse survivor, no acknowledgement of the horrific abuse she endured, a toxic sense of entitlement to spew this harmful rubbish, & zero outrage at the abuser.
.
We all know how narcissists love to leverage our previous traumas & re-expose us by design to the very things they know caused us pain in the past, it’s sickening. I was absolutely appalled, and blocked them immediately.
.
Sadly, this is not an isolated incident. Another deplorable shame-shifter recently made a similar comment to another childhood sexual abuse survivor on their page.
.
Unfortunately our community is crawling with narcissists masquerading as victims who come out of the woodwork every now and then to upset the apple cart. Victim-shaming/abuser-defending continues to flourish despite how fiercely protective I am of this community. It’s disheartening how these types have the audacity to screw with us, but please know I’m doing my absolute best to keep our community as safe as possible.
.
I think many narcs know we’re onto them, & because narcissism info is spreading like wildfire they’re running out of targets. So what do they do? They wreak havoc in the survivor community spreading misinformation, bullying survivors, & defending abusers. I’m so sick & tired of dealing with it. If you ever see it happening, please let me know ASAP so I can preemptively block their asses.
.
Thank you for reading, I hope everyone is having a peaceful week! Love & hugs,
@dont_gaslight_me_bruh 💞💞💞
  • VICTIM-SHAMING A CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVOR – ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS?! The following incident actually happened over the weekend but I’ve been too upset to write about it until now. So a vile victim-blamer came in on their high horse to forgiveness-shame a childhood sexual abuse survivor. The survivor had previously commented on one of my posts talking about how she was immediately forgiveness-shamed after opening up to a trusted friend about the sexual abuse she endured as a child. So what did this vile troll do? They parroted back exactly what the so-called friend said about the importance of forgiving a peodophile, and proceeded to lecture her about holding onto bitterness. Absolutely no empathy for a childhood abuse survivor, no acknowledgement of the horrific abuse she endured, a toxic sense of entitlement to spew this harmful rubbish, & zero outrage at the abuser.
    .
    We all know how narcissists love to leverage our previous traumas & re-expose us by design to the very things they know caused us pain in the past, it’s sickening. I was absolutely appalled, and blocked them immediately.
    .
    Sadly, this is not an isolated incident. Another deplorable shame-shifter recently made a similar comment to another childhood sexual abuse survivor on their page.
    .
    Unfortunately our community is crawling with narcissists masquerading as victims who come out of the woodwork every now and then to upset the apple cart. Victim-shaming/abuser-defending continues to flourish despite how fiercely protective I am of this community. It’s disheartening how these types have the audacity to screw with us, but please know I’m doing my absolute best to keep our community as safe as possible.
    .
    I think many narcs know we’re onto them, & because narcissism info is spreading like wildfire they’re running out of targets. So what do they do? They wreak havoc in the survivor community spreading misinformation, bullying survivors, & defending abusers. I’m so sick & tired of dealing with it. If you ever see it happening, please let me know ASAP so I can preemptively block their asses.
    .
    Thank you for reading, I hope everyone is having a peaceful week! Love & hugs,
    @dont_gaslight_me_bruh 💞💞💞
  • 493 60 13 February, 2020
  • Your emotional state has to be their emotional state. Their emotional state is the state of the entire household.
.
For example, if you enter the room and feel the other person radiating heavy emotions, and you on the other hand are happy, the "victim" type of covert narcissist will do or say something to take you down to their emotional level.
.
This emotional extortion will be very confusing because they really look like a victim. This type of covert narcissist has both an element of victim + manipulator.
.
For more info, watch the video ‘2 Kinds of COVERT Narcissists’ on YouTube.
  • Your emotional state has to be their emotional state. Their emotional state is the state of the entire household.
    .
    For example, if you enter the room and feel the other person radiating heavy emotions, and you on the other hand are happy, the "victim" type of covert narcissist will do or say something to take you down to their emotional level.
    .
    This emotional extortion will be very confusing because they really look like a victim. This type of covert narcissist has both an element of victim + manipulator.
    .
    For more info, watch the video ‘2 Kinds of COVERT Narcissists’ on YouTube.
  • 823 51 13 February, 2020
  • Childhood trauma affects our emotions. Many times as children we had to either surpress too much or express too much how we feel to survive.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This got us through our childhood but unfortunately it can be difficult for us on others in our relationships.
  • Childhood trauma affects our emotions. Many times as children we had to either surpress too much or express too much how we feel to survive.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
    This got us through our childhood but unfortunately it can be difficult for us on others in our relationships.
  • 9 1 12 February, 2020
  • WOMEN liKe Us start REVOLUTIONS by simply eXisting. Which is why grownmen with bigEgos & uncleanHearts - those who moVe wit lowVibrations liKe immaturity insecurity Vanity #materialism lust enVy dishonesty & falsePride - haVe NO IDEA how to deal with or receiVe WOMEN liKe us. Rather than appreciate a REALQUEEN, a Beautiful intelligent Honest hardworKing FOCUSED SelfMotiVated humble CLEAN Woman on their team as a BLESSING some men will see WOMEN liKe us as a threat to their power, use & ABUSE us then try to destroy us. They BELIEVE that inauthenticity dirtyMoney toXicSeX manipulation Violence intimidation & faKe socialmediaOptics (instead of FAITH LOVE integrity EQUALITY originality Intelligence Consistency & PRAYER) issa better strategy to achieVe TRUE Success & GREATNESS.
🚨These lowVibing abusiVe men get their 'feminineFiX' & #NARCISSISTICSupply from stripclubs 'hoes'&sidechicKs YESmen & maleGroupies, NOT by nurturing authentic #DiVineFeminineENERGY from their wiVes/partners or worKing with emotionally stable #REALWomen on their Team. WeKnow from YEARS of obserVing&eXperiencing this unhealthy reality in the CARIBBEAN..where NO ONE addresses it. Fortunately, we can eaZily Discern&Transmute negatiVeVibrations. It's what maKes a #LIGHTWORKER the PhoeniXinTheFire.
💡In 2K17-18 we had the WORST eXperience of our LIFE&Career worKing with #NARCISSISTICMen in the selfish #CARIBBEANMusicIndustry. The badmind ineQuality dishonesty laZiness & lacKofFollowUP was BEYOND perpleXing. After MONTHS of dedicated hardworK & FOCUS on a proJect we were treated with disdain disrespect hatred betrayal scamming cyberBullying hacKing slander inJustice threats ABUSE & #Gaslighting - basic #NARCISSIST behaVior. 
CARIBBEANWomen continue to be oppressed by #Patriarchy SeXualABUSE EmotionalTrauma & #PsychologicalVIOLENCE from #NARCISSISTIC men. It's why the CARIBBEAN is imbalanced with poorEducation highCrime incarceration corruption POVERTY & #YOUTHViolence. WeGiVeThanKsForOurSOULFamily helping to HEAL this distorted socialDynamic. You are deeply AppreciLOVED! BLESSUP🙏💜👑🌎
.
#SPiCEDReasoning #RiseUPCARIBBEAN  #LEADwithINTELLIGENCE
🌊:#CLEANUPtheCARIBBEAN 🔌:#JeanilleBonterreEducation
  • WOMEN liKe Us start REVOLUTIONS by simply eXisting. Which is why grownmen with bigEgos & uncleanHearts - those who moVe wit lowVibrations liKe immaturity insecurity Vanity #materialism lust enVy dishonesty & falsePride - haVe NO IDEA how to deal with or receiVe WOMEN liKe us. Rather than appreciate a REALQUEEN, a Beautiful intelligent Honest hardworKing FOCUSED SelfMotiVated humble CLEAN Woman on their team as a BLESSING some men will see WOMEN liKe us as a threat to their power, use & ABUSE us then try to destroy us. They BELIEVE that inauthenticity dirtyMoney toXicSeX manipulation Violence intimidation & faKe socialmediaOptics (instead of FAITH LOVE integrity EQUALITY originality Intelligence Consistency & PRAYER) issa better strategy to achieVe TRUE Success & GREATNESS.
    🚨These lowVibing abusiVe men get their 'feminineFiX' & #NARCISSISTICSupply from stripclubs 'hoes'&sidechicKs YESmen & maleGroupies, NOT by nurturing authentic #DiVineFeminineENERGY from their wiVes/partners or worKing with emotionally stable #REALWomen on their Team. WeKnow from YEARS of obserVing&eXperiencing this unhealthy reality in the CARIBBEAN..where NO ONE addresses it. Fortunately, we can eaZily Discern&Transmute negatiVeVibrations. It's what maKes a #LIGHTWORKER the PhoeniXinTheFire.
    💡In 2K17-18 we had the WORST eXperience of our LIFE&Career worKing with #NARCISSISTICMen in the selfish #CARIBBEANMusicIndustry . The badmind ineQuality dishonesty laZiness & lacKofFollowUP was BEYOND perpleXing. After MONTHS of dedicated hardworK & FOCUS on a proJect we were treated with disdain disrespect hatred betrayal scamming cyberBullying hacKing slander inJustice threats ABUSE & #Gaslighting - basic #NARCISSIST behaVior.
    CARIBBEANWomen continue to be oppressed by #Patriarchy SeXualABUSE EmotionalTrauma & #PsychologicalVIOLENCE from #NARCISSISTIC men. It's why the CARIBBEAN is imbalanced with poorEducation highCrime incarceration corruption POVERTY & #YOUTHViolence . WeGiVeThanKsForOurSOULFamily helping to HEAL this distorted socialDynamic. You are deeply AppreciLOVED! BLESSUP🙏💜👑🌎
    .
    #SPiCEDReasoning #RiseUPCARIBBEAN #LEADwithINTELLIGENCE
    🌊: #CLEANUPtheCARIBBEAN 🔌: #JeanilleBonterreEducation
  • 120 10 23 December, 2018