What happens to us in our childhood shapes up for who we become as adults. I do a lot of inner child work with my clients helping them recognise when it’s the inner child reacting or the adult. 9/10 it’s the inner child reacting to an unhealed wound. This could be from a major traumatic event in their childhood or something small but the inner child attached meaning that in some way it was their fault. Children never think it’s their parents fault if they are angry, neglectful, abusive or unable to show live. The child will always think it’s their fault, that in some way the parents or caregivers are behaving like that BECAUSE of them rather than it just happening TO them. When a child believes it’s happening to them, the brain needs to make sense of this so it can be a belief of “I’m not worthy” or “I’m not good enough”. This then gets wired in as a subconscious belief and becomes the blueprint for adulthood. It’s only when we change the underlying subconscious belief that we can heal the inner child so that it can merge into the adult and become one. Does your inner child need to upgrade its subconscious belief?
1,4254619 November, 2019
I’ve been talking a lot this week with my clients about holding trauma in the body. That could be in the form of pain in the joints, muscle tension or migraines etc...... Stress impacts our body and over 80% of disease is caused by stress!! When we’ve had some trauma in our life such as narcissistic abuse, it is not just a mind experience, it is also a body experience.
After trauma we often just keep going and going and going........ not listening to our body!!!! We think we are coping but our body can tell a different story.
There are two main categories of trauma commonly referred to as Big “T” and little “t.” Big “T” traumas are the events most commonly associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) including serious injury, sexual violence, or life-threatening experiences.
Little “t” traumas are highly distressing events that affect individuals on a personal level but don’t fall into the big “T” category. Examples of little “t” trauma include non-life-threatening injuries, emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, death of a pet, bullying or harassment, and loss of significant relationships, divorce and grief. People have unique capacities to handle stress, referred to as resilience, which impacts their ability to cope with trauma. What is highly distressing to one person may not cause the same emotional response in someone else. Whether a big “T” or little “t”, the effects of PTSD and CPTSD can be equally as debilitating. During trauma, the brain has stuck memories because the hippocampus in the brain hasn’t time stamped them to say they are in the past which keeps our fight of flight centre (the amygdala) in a constant state of alert like you are experiencing the triggers as if it was happening right now. This is why EMDR in my practice is so effect as it helps unstick the memories associated with trauma do the physical feelings are lessened so you can think about the trauma but in a safe way and not feel that immediate sense of danger and release of cortisol. Trauma in whatever form can be crippling in your life but there is hope out there ❤️ Thankyou to @crazyheadcomics for this great graphic about trauma 🙏
1,6159510 November, 2019
I think we assume that making a “good” choice should immediately produce a positive emotion. Especially when that choice is clearly in our best interest. But sometimes an uncomfortable response comes first.
It’s okay to miss someone you’ve had to cut off. It’s okay to feel low after setting a hard boundary. It’s okay to grieve the loss of something that was bad for you, whether that’s a partner or a friend or a substance or an environment. You can make space for your sadness while still trusting yourself and your decisions. You don’t have to doubt yourself. You don’t have to feel something else. You’re not a disappointment because of it. And I’m proud of you for doing the hard thing. For putting your growth first. You’re making room for the light. It will come soon.
Today, in my most real and raw video yet, I released 27 years of hate, pain and shame from my body.
Things are still sinking in, but I just had to take a moment to thank you for your presence in my life. There is no way I could have faced my darkness without you.
We are truly, truly in this together ❤️ #metoo#ptsdawareness
7182520 November, 2019
STUCK TRAUMA FROM CPTSD
When I was healing after narcissistic abuse, I really didn’t realise the depth of the impact on not just my brain but also in my body.
Suffering with CPTSD, depression, anxiety and self harm meant that I was in a constant state of hyper vigilance feeling tense and ready to react as my whole nervous system was highly charged.
As I started to self heal, I thought I was getting better and I’d start to have periods of time where I thought I’d fully healed but then I’d have someone or something trigger me and I felt like I’d taken twenty steps backwards again!!! I got angry at myself and angry at my ex thinking I’d got a life sentence with this. It was only when I realised that at the root of this was stuck trauma still in my body that I hadn’t been able to process because of the CPTSD.
The part of my brain responsible for stamping events into the past hadn’t done this so when I had a trigger, my body reacted thinking that I was in immediate danger again and needed to be in fight or flight mode.
It was only when I realised I needed to process these memories and time stamp them to the past that I could really start to move forward. This is why I trained in EMDR and am now implementing this with my clients because this helps just process any stuck trauma and it’s exciting seeing them being able to think about the trauma but with no physical feelings attached in the body.
Do you think you have stuck trauma in your body?
As seen on..... @officialcraigshoemaker who is wearing @bulletsnbeadz mens full bullet bracelet in socialite blue. It was great meeting you Craig and speaking about our work for veterans and Ptsd. If you haven't seen his comedy acts..... you are missing out. If you don't have a B n B piece yet... what are you waiting for? ********* Making bullets beautiful for a cause ********
Roleplay is often an escape, the same kind of escape many people experience in reading a book or playing a video game. But sometimes, it is also a window into the subconscious.
For me, roleplay can illuminate the different parts of my personality and how I have dealt, or not dealt, with the traumas in my life. Often. I revisit old pains and concepts I am still learning to understand. Viewing them through the lenses and minds of the different characters who interact with the world and other characters in different ways.
One of the most wonderful things about roleplay is that it is not just writing. It is a conversation, an interaction with others. Others who also see the world through a different lens. Whether they share experiences with me or my characters or not, many of my roleplay interactions have helped to illuminate new ideas, coping mechanisms, and feelings Indidnt know I had.
This year, a portion of my bedroom christmas tree is going to be dedicated to my roleplay characters, who are are so near and dear to my heart. They are alive inside of me because they are pieces of me. Ana, my soft spoken, open-hearted, noble who'd gentle kindness can't be suppressed no matter what challenges she faces, has a special connection with animals and often uses a stag as her personal signet. What's more beautiful and graceful than a Christmas stag?
2018 minutes ago
The truth is, there is no one way to pursue healing for your mind. Different people respond better to different things.
Similarly, it’s never too late to start that recovery process. Whether you’ve been in therapy since you were in grade school or are just starting to think about your mental health now, there is no “right path” for everyone. Your journey is your choice!
Debriefing can help.
For others it can re trigger the trauma especially if it’s done in the place where the birth trauma occurred.
BTR is gentle and effective in removing traumatic memories into normal functioning memories .
How often do you feel like you’re hitting your head against a wall?
Do you feel like everything is just falling apart?
As a trauma therapist for over the past decade, I can tell you that when we have had something happen to us that made us feel powerless, it becomes hard to let go and have faith that everything is going to work out.
Especially, when things look like they are falling apart.
When things are falling apart, it’s a sign that the way we have been “managing” things is no longer working.
We need to find a new way of dealing with situations.
Take a step back, PAUSE, breathe and see what is no longer working.
Ask yourself, what is behind me wanting to control this?
Most of the time it’s our FEAR or “I’ve seen this happen before”.
And that fear is why we are so hell bent on controlling the outcome.
The redirections, reroutes are all meant to get you to where you are supposed to be.
And the more you let go of control, the quicker you will find yourself in a place you never thought possible.
So, in the mean time, keep showing up each day, act with integrity, and go where it flows.
Drop a 🌊 for going with the flow. ✌🏻
THANK YOU to everyone who came yesterday! What an evening! ✨ I still have to process all that happened but one thing is for sure: we made a big statement in regards to trauma. By your presence at the reception, you entered the dialogue we opened with our exhibition. Together we took this dialogue out of the shadows and away from the whispers, we put a radical spotlight on it and spoke loudly. We see you, trauma. We hear you. We acknowledge you. We accept your reality and we are making it CHANGE.
When I decided to focus all my work on trauma, several years ago now, there was just me. I chose to speak out, whether with words or art or other means, because I had realised that trauma is not silenced because it's uncommon but specifically because it is common, so common that it is overwhelming to face, let alone tackle. You find it in individual experiences and you find it threaded through our society, precipitated by a culture that sustains violence and abuse of power in forms that range from the brutally visible to the intricately invisible yet very real. It was scary and the consequences were sometimes hard to deal with, I questioned whether my efforts did anything meaningful at all or if it was just another survivor's unheard cry, just another monologue. Today, not only do we have a dialogue, but we have a movement. Every artist and every person who came to the exhibition contributes to a march forward for trauma - or perhaps we should say; to a march away from trauma.
Thank you for every step taken and every step yet to take. We can do this. ✊
[The exhibition is open until the end of the month @willesdengallery]
A moment of authentic self-celebration. Against all odds, this piece of paper became mine in 2014. I received my graduate level education during a challenging time in my life. I was teaching full time in a school and working two part time jobs to pay for my full-time student tuition, deep in an abusive intimate relationship that resulted in ongoing PTS, and experiencing a most severe flare of my autoimmune disorder rendering me unable to move or walk without intense debilitating pain due to out of control inflammation and recurring respiratory infections , I survived..barely. A lot has changed since then and I’m feeling more alive through learning self-care and embracing an organic mindbody lifestyle. I’m ready to use this credential and education in a way that showcases my expertise without jeapordizing my physical health. #ptsdawareness#lupuswarrior#autoimmunedisease#survivor
The thoughts that float around in our head, daily, is what’s conditioning us on how to think and deal with life's situations. Sometimes when we are faced with life's hardships, the perceptions of our thoughts fuel our responses and the after-action.
When I was in middle school, I was so self conscious of my Latina figure. Growing up, I was raised in a strict catholic Puerto Rican home. So moving in with my atheist father in the Midwest as a teen, was a drastic culture shock. I wasn’t use to the attention, and on top of that, I had no one to talk to about it. Boys would make comments about my body which made me so self conscious and insecure. I had a father who would poke fun at my figure, and all of this together started the domino effect of wanting to be as small as I possibly could. I didn’t understand the beauty of having a curvy figure. Being a teen girl that was raised by a single dad had me looking for body inspiration in magazines, on tv, and MySpace. I can only wish I knew then what I know now. That no man has the right to define your worth. That your body is NO ONES property. And the reality is, that my body is so much more beautiful with its curves. Because that’s the ethnicity that I hold, and I am proud of it. My body was made for a figure. I’m so proud of how far it’s come over the last 10 years.
Thank you all so much for the love on my last post. The one positive thing about having an eating disorder is that I can share my recovery process in this safe place and hopefully help and inspire someone else. #edrecovery#bodypositive#bodytransformation#bodydysmorphia#bodydysmorphicdisorder#bodydysmorphiarecovery#ptsdawareness#ptsdrecovery#ptsdsurvivor