Sharing this post again as a reminder:
Therapy is amazing, *and* it's not the only path or space to find healing.
Adding to the list... what helps you heal?
Who helps you heal?
What supports your growth?
What empowers you?
What holds space for connecting to yourself?
What would you add?
What might you try to make room for today?
What's most important is finding what works for YOU.
Happy Saturday, my friends. My healing for the weekend: logging off social media. Take care.✨
Trying to satisfy everyone ends up with no one being satisfied – including yourself. Ultimately, when you refrain from pleasing people, you lose them. However, I find that when you try to please everyone around you, you lose yourself even more – and you still lose people.
Social media is making it clear that we are heading towards a world that requires more validation. A lot of us seek social approval through likes, comments, shares, followers, or whatever else you may use to measure your likability and worth. As an online influencer, it may be even harder because your content’s engagement may be critical to the endorsements you receive – and therefore, how you live. For this reason, you may be trained to care what others think of everything you post, obsessively.
It’s easy to accept other people’s opinions and behaviours towards you, as a reflection of your own identity. In our rational minds, it’s obvious. If you get no likes, no one likes you. If someone DM’s you saying you’re beautiful, you must be attractive. If people are sharing your work, your work must be decent. Right? No, and you already know why.
Even if it’s passive, we tend to let other people control our lives. For this reason, we allow them to control our happiness. Acceptance at any given moment is vital to happiness, yet some of us never seem to accept ourselves and our lives, unless others do.
No text back? No swipes on Tinder? No likes on your video? No problem. As much as this world is developing to encourage us to look for validation externally, you must remember that only you can validate yourself. Furthermore, if you believe in a Creator, do you think they are going to label you “ugly” because no one is liking your selfies or showing interest in you? Do you think your existence developed with the label “ugly” in mind? Don’t forget your worth. Ever.
11,48629716 hours ago
Being human is a complex, multi-layered, ebbing & flowing mess of an experience. We spend so much time avoiding the mess, trying to hide the mess, fixing the mess, running from the mess, feeling guilty for the mess, feeling less than for the mess, beating ourselves up for the mess, staying quiet about the mess... you get the point.
What if being human means sometimes being messy? What if our humanity includes our messiness? What if we are lovable even when shit is messy? What if our messiness isn't something to feel ashamed for but is instead something to embrace and befriend?
In case you need it: this is your permission slip to be a mess, because guess what? We all are. Even @brenebrown. Even @beyonce. Even (insert your person-on-a-pedestal here). It's a part of being human. I don't want to tell you what to do but here's an invitation: Embrace the mess. Allow the mess. Own the mess. Spend less time trying to clean it up and more time accepting it as part of being alive.
I'm no expert on you, but I believe your messiness is okay. Being in the middle of it is okay. *You* are okay. There is so much more to you than your mess, but your mess is accepted here.
Happy Wednesday, sweet friends. ❤️
Good morning :) so I won't be able to exercise for a week, therefore will have to be super careful and aware of what I'm eating and trying to as active as possible and as allowed.
What I usually like to do when I don't exercise for any reason or when I'm in a plateau is: FASTING.
I fast 2 or 3 days a week to ensure an overall calorie deficit. And this worked for me several times before. So this is what I'll be doing this week.
If you would like to know how i manage my fasting days check out my IGTV video about fasting.
✨Beautiful girl, you were born to do great things so believe in yourself ✨
We spend so much time and energy worrying about what others will think of us, what our parents, partners, friends, teachers, bosses, colleagues, society ... etc will think.
I truly believe that we lose ourselves, we disconnect from our own selves, our own intuition, our mind, our bodies, our soul, our thoughts, our feelings...
We dishonour ourselves just to please other people. People even do harm to their physical bodies just to be accepted by others. Either by drinking, taking drugs, eating certain things, putting themselves in danger to avoid being rejected by others and to ‘fit in’. ✨
We have such strong need to be accepted and loved by others, but we can’t accept and love ourselves? The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves; it is why we don’t accept ourselves the way we are.
Drop a 💖 in the comments below if you are ready to start loving and accepting yourself exactly as you are 💖
Reaching out is NOT weak at all so if you’re struggling reach out to someone who supports you.you can also dm me💜
9146 minutes ago
Very nice list or advices from @journey_to_wellness_ for me to send you #mondaymotivation vibes 😉. Monday is just another day!!! Keep going, one moment after the other. Protect your peace as much as you can. Be proud to show up for yourself no matter what it is for you; show up for yourself can be honor your sickness and take a sick day; it can be jump in the new day full of energy; it can be go slow and postpone some stuffs. Do what is good TO YOU at THIS MOMENT. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Do the work, the best you can, and keep going. Take care 💜💚🧡💙💛❤️
13149 minutes ago
No needed make someone feel useless because you’re feeling useless!!! The truth is if you are scared of your own capabilities, you must work on your self esteem rather than make someone feel dumped, because you are! .
You only have to prove something to yourself not to others, until you are trying prove anything to orders you are failing, however, when you change it and begin to prove for yourself things that you’re capable, things in life will change for you!
Trusting yourself is the most important keys to achieve your goals!!!
Dresses that make you feel this good in your own skin 🥰
So grateful to be able to be working with the guys at @featherfoxboutique they’ve helped me realise my dreams of becoming a model at my true size and not once have they asked me to change or alter my appearance to suit the “norm” standards of the modelling world,
You don’t need to have a 6 pack and tiny arms and legs to be beautiful or to be a model!! So to any girls on here who follow me and have always wanted to pursue a career in modelling or anything else that you have put off because of fear of failure,
Skin so smooth like butter,lips so soft and juicy, my eyes shine like stars on a full moon night.honey I'm so beautiful with or without makeup. I love me because self love is important and its starts from within. Smile and spread love but most importantly love yourself because you can't give what you don't have.
[ WARNING - LONG POST AHEAD WITH AN EMOTIONAL BUT IMPORTANT MESSAGE ]
It broke my heart that every day I was living by these labels and more. Every decision I made was either to try and hide these labels or to prove that I wasn't what I thought I was.
I so desperately wanted to fit in that I no longer fit in with myself and that was an empty space where I thought I would never get out of.
Although I hated the thought of other people thinking this of me or saying anything negative about me what took me the longest time to realize, was the reason I hated it so much was because I deep down believed I was these labels.
Everyday I wasn't actually trying to prove to anyone that I wasn't these labels I was actually trying to prove to myself that my deepest fears, beliefs weren't true.
I limited myself and who I was based on the in-print of what I perceived everything and everyone in this world to be.
The relationship with myself was in shambles, I isolated myself, pushed away friends, family, co-workers and more because well I believed that one day I would be left alone when they too found out the truth and abandoned me.
I desperately just wanted to be accepted so I molded myself, wore masks and became a huge people pleaser just so one day I could finally feel blessed enough to feel love.
Nothing I did or ever did was right anyway so the best option was to change myself. Little did I realize that trying to be someone I am not, that isn't who I am was what actually lead me to some of the darkest places I've experienced in my life.
If it wasn't for the day I looked in the mirror after hiding the shame of who I was through my food addiction, over eating compulsion and body obsession stacking on 55kgs post comp in absolute disgust I cried in the bathroom of a retreat I went to because If hating my body got me no where then what if I started to like my body?
That moment changed my world forever... I tried to change but it was a lot harder to think nicely of myself so I kept trying and trying to understand how to like myself and the body I am in right now.
Until after an emotional retreat sharing my journey in-front of people for the first time my mentor
Pregnancy is hard
With pregnancy it naturally comes with some worry, fear and anxiety but sometimes that fear and anxiety becomes consuming and starts to take away the joy that should be had with having a baby.
A couple of weeks ago I was lucky enough to speak on the @hellovaginapodcast podcast all about prenatal anxiety and my experience with it.
I talk about why I developed prenatal anxiety, how it isn’t spoken about enough, what help I sought for my second pregnancy and how that pregnancy was so different because I was aware of it and was getting the necessary support!
This episode is now live over at @hellovaginapodcast or you can also listen to it on Spotify ❤️
M e n t a l H e a l t h 🧠
It’s easy for someone who suffers with a mental health illness to feel insecure, abnormal, out of place, unworthy. I know that is how I used to feel when I first noticed I was thinking and feeling differently to how I used to. That I felt overwhelmed more often, I felt sad more often and I would struggle with panic and anxieties that I didn’t before. Simple tasks became harder, being social was tough and I didn’t have motivation for things that I used to. For a long time I tried to ignore these thoughts and emotions, repressing them feeling unable to ask for help and support through fear of judgement.
Over time and therapy I realised that the things that were happening to me were normal reactions to very traumatic events. That the things that had changed in my behaviours and mood could improve. My worth hadn’t changed, my purpose hadn’t changed, I wasn’t unlovable or damaged beyond repair; it just felt that way but I could change my reactions and thought process to have a healthier view and process things to be able to heal.
Having a mental illness or having times of struggle does not change your value. It does not make you less of a person or make you unworthy of the things you dream of or need. You are not alone and it’s okay to not be okay, asking for help and support does not make you weak it makes you courageous and strong. Its important to treat mental health with the respect it deserves, it could be any of us who struggles so be kind always 💙
Hier soir il s'est passé quelque chose de spécial pour moi...
J'étais dans un mood spécial, sur lequel je n'arrivais pas à mettre de mots.
Je n'arrivais pas à me sentir à ma place.
J'étais épuisée, mais il y avait autre chose.
Je sentais ma gorge se serrer au fur et à mesure de la soirée.
Je sentais que mon copain voyait que quelque chose n'allait pas, mais je ne savais pas quoi lui dire.
Et plus je me sentais mal, plus je culpabilisais car il n'y avait pas de raisons apparentes.
Puis je me suis mise sous l'eau presque brûlante, avec une musique. Apres, je me suis mise à lire en pensant que ça allait m'apaiser, je continuais le livre de @veroniquedelacochetiere
et en quelques lignes, je me suis mise à pleurer. Ces lignes disaient "vous n'avez pas à porter le poids de votre famille".
Mon chéri l'a remarqué et m'a demandé ce qu'il se passait, je lui ai dit que je ne savais pas, que j'étais mélangée entre plusieurs émotions sur lesquelles je ne savais pas mettre de mots.
Je me suis excusée... et il m'a dit cette phrase qui m'a beaucoup marquée : "ne t'excuse pas d'être triste, tu ne t'excuseras plus jamais d'être triste d'accord?"
S'en sont suivies de grosses larmes pendant longtemps, sans vraiment savoir ce que j'avais.
Je voulais te parler de cette soirée parce que je suis la première à dire "c'est ok de ne pas être ok", mais lorsque la situation se présente, c'est la culpabilité qui a montré son visage en premier.
Alors je me dis qu'il n'est jamais trop lourd de le rappeler encore :
C'EST OK. C'EST OK DE NE PAS ÊTRE OK.
du love ❤
157191 hour ago
There is no right and wrong food, if you trust and listen to your body 🖤
“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” - Brene Brown
Self-acceptance isn't always easy, but having a supportive community can make it a little less challenging. Tag a friend who accepts you just as you are!
Good Morning world.
Remember that literally anything is possible today and everyday.
So lean in.
Pay attention to your triggers.
Look for opportunities to shift your thinking from a habitual robotic pathway to one that serves you better.
It will take some effort but there is joy and honey in the effort.
I believe in you. And I know that if you are reading this, you have at least some level of privilege that will allow you to practice this in some way.
Shifting our perspectives toward healing, acceptance, starting where we are and working with what we have, building faith and trust in ourselves and others to recreate culture and society will enable us to make change in this world.
We do not have to love the lives mapped out for us by those who came before us.
We do not have to live in pain out of habit.
It will be a big challenge but we can heal and grow.
Take on the challenge.
It’s the meaning of your life.
I love you.