Dear Me, Today is different from ever. A dark melancholy mood of you with lots of regrets and pain. Things went to the edge for you. You're crying and dying inside but remembers to smile like always. You failed to be a good friend, a best-friend and even a good son. You're the cause of numerous problems the person who loves you have. You're rude with your family. You don't understand their struggles, their efforts and considers yourself the number one priority. You just blame people for the reason you did to them. You've been rude, arrogant and indiscipline and it's because of you people left you. No one's fault but you. You want the things in your way with your perspective, everything according to you by your will, that will kill you. But this doesn't matter, does it?? You're already dead. You've always been wrong and wrong. You made mistakes but trying to fix that you made another one and fixing those, you made another mistake and so you do. You pushed away people and blamed then for not being for you. You're nothing but a psychotic evil person that gets everyone and everything you want for yourself and only yourself. And once you get that, you start destroying just like a monster. All you did was being selfish, desperate and greedy for things you want. Never ever you thought off the grid, about how people want to be with you, how things happened in other's perspective. You acted like none of these mattered to you. You thought about being you. So now you have to live with that, all of that. The Pain, The Ignorance, The Heartbreak, The Darkness, The Selflessness, The Arrogance, The Regrets, The Loneliness and mostly a Loveless Life. This is your ending, your doing and your fate because of you.
In the end you're left infinitely and utterly all alone.
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Day 69: it is well with my soul
Sang this hymn today, and was reminded of the history of the song in which the author wrote this on a ship sailing to his wife amidst incredible tragedy and sorrow.
Even when life crumbles, we can still find a place to rest our souls in Jesus.
This quote says so many things that resonate with me. Grief is the way the absence of your loved one manifests in your heart. Wow. I love that. Grief is a constant dance of sorrow and joy, pain and sweet love. That couldn’t be more true. I think this whole thing is my new mantra. 🖤
68516 September, 2019
✏️ painting from the heart is like losing something you love so much and after some time you find it but it’s not the same as when you first lost it. 🌹💀🌙
We often forget to be patient with ourselves. We forget to praise our achievements, no matter how small; yet we never forget to give ourselves a hard time. To put ourselves down for the slightest mistake.
Each day we walk with our heads high, and wear a smile should be celebrated.
Each second we choose to carry on.
So we take it a day at a time.... we reiterate our goals.
We go to sleep with the intention of being better, doing better.
We wake up in the morning with hope, peace, drive.... and appreciation for simply waking up.
Join me Mondays for a healing yoga practice.
Included with our asana(physical practice) you will explore meditation, mudras and mantras.
End the evenings practice with a cup of tea and some mindfulness journaling.
Monday evenings 815-945pm. Send me a DM to register and hold your spot. Limited spaces available. $20.00 drop in or 6 weeks for $110.00
Why do we play better when we are sad?
Is that why musicians turn to booze and drugs and sex and these vices that destroy rather than build?
Can you be addicted to getting your heart broken?
Is there a fierce relationship between the level of hope you have and the level of sorrow when that hope is taken away?
Anyways, here's a portion of a cover that never fails in reminding me to call MOM.
“I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.” ― Agatha Christie, who was born September 15, 1890. 📚