Many "chase after" that narcassistic trauma in early childhood experiences... parent, sibling, relative, friend again & again & as adults chase in their next relationship always trying to heal within, yet hopefully before too much harm, realize to start loving themselves & healing from the trauma that's happened.
Don't block yourself from happiness.
When you are ready & able to be loved & can find yourself compatible to your own being...
Hey... that's a good thing to let love in.
LOVE vs TRAUMA... ALWAYS ALWAYS ALLOW LOVE TO WIN.
This means in trauma; hard decisions.
In the positive; this allows you to love yourself, grow, & love again.
En cadeau d'anniversaire, ma talentueuse amie @melisande_illu m'a offert ce superbe dessin. J'ai une passion pour les reines et ce sont mes couleurs. J'y tiens beaucoup et merci encore ❤
Dans un rêve récent, une personne que j'ai pu avec le temps découvrir sous un tout autre jour le prenait et l'ensevelissait sous des couches et des couches de peinture pour le faire disparaître.
Je me suis déjà retrouvée dans cette situation et je suis épuisée de m'y confronter à nouveau. Ça m'a hanté jusque dans mon sommeil de me sentir démunie face à ce stress post traumatique que je n'avais pas ressenti depuis longtemps. Au-delà des symboliques très fortes qu'est celle de détruire un visage en rêve par une personne toxique, au-delà de la malveillance il y a la loyauté des gens qui ne vous quitte pas. Ceux qui vous entendent.
Je n'utilise pas ce mot à la légère. Je reconnais ses traits et je connais son prix. Je ne suis ni introvertie, ni réservée, ni particulièrement discrète. Je sais ce qu'on peut en penser. S'il y a une chose que j'ai retenue c'est qu'on ne peut pas gagner. Qu'il faut passer son chemin aussi vite et du mieux possible. Je suis heureuse de ne pas m'être corrompue, d'avoir cerné le jeu malsain et d'avoir quitté la table. Je sais que le temps donne raison au respect et à l'intégrité. Je sais que rester fidèle à ses principes est ce que l'on retient quand le miroir se brise.
Je ne cache pas mes émotions et je ne tolère plus ces comportements. Je place des drapeaux rouges. Je mets mes distances. De ces choix, je ne doute plus. C'est la brèche par laquelle on vous atteint et vous brise. Aujourd'hui je suis plus que bien entourée pour faire face. Le fruit d'une leçon durement apprise.
Je ne veux pas fermer mon coeur encore une fois face à la trahison comme j'ai pu le faire. Pourtant j'érige les frontières nécessaires pour me protéger. J'espère que vous n'aurez jamais à vous déguerpir d'une situation pareille, mais surtout rompez l'isolation. Il y aura toujours des gens l'ayant vécu prêt à vous écouter. Parlez de vos doutes. Trouvez vos alliés. Trouvez vos piliers.
J'ai trouvé les miens.
3732 hours ago
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you neglected everything about your needs, wants, wishes, and dreams in order to fit to the mold of what your partner wanted you to be so that you would be “good enough” for them?
Have you ever lost yourself?
Looked in the mirror and didn’t even recognize who you are?
Felt so out of alignment with your body that you stared at yourself in pure disgust because you find yourself ugly, fat, etc?
I HAVE. For most of my late teens and early 20’s I bounced from toxic relationship to toxic relationship.
If you have experienced this or are currently experiencing this I want to reassure you that YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE SUCH A VALUABLE SOUL.
When we compromise ourselves in order to please someone else whether it is to make the other person happy, to feel needed/wanted, or simply because we don’t want to be alone we are causing ourselves to SUFFER.
When we aren’t truly being ourselves we are constantly betraying ourselves. This leads to low self confidence, low self worth, low self esteem, no trust in ourselves, anxiety, and depression.
YOU DO NOT NEED SOMEONE ELSE IN ORDER TO FEEL NEEDED OR WANTED.
You are fucking amazing.
It is time that you start giving yourself the love and attention you’ve deserved all along beautiful.
If you are on the other end of a situation like this: YOU ARE FUCKING POWERFUL AND I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR TAKING YOUR POWER BACK.
If you are still in a situation like this don’t beat yourself up, make small steps, be gentle with yourself, and REACH OUT if you need support. Isolation is the biggest reason why people feel that they have to stay in a toxic situation.
I’m here if you need any support, feel more than welcome to reach out to me.
If you've struggled with ending toxic relationships, procrastination, setting boundaries with dysfunctional family members, feeling unworthy, depression, anxiety and low-self worth...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you've struggled with trusting your feelings, confusion, self-doubt, hidden anger, secret frustration, and the inability to LIVE your truth, know⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*You can heal the beliefs that are holding you back! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*You can be set free and tell your truth in spite of what others want for you!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*You can go through a reorganizing of your own life and SURVIVE!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*You can CREATE the life you DESIRE--face the CHALLENGING times--cry if you need to--feel the grief of loss--and THRIVE anyway!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
One of most significant reasons I want to do what I do--is because it just strikes me as so UNFAIR that abused adults, most of the time, do not even know they were ABUSED in childhood. ABUSE and living in survival mode was their NORM.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
OH HELL NO!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That bothers me so much! It bothers me to think, that there is this beautiful light inside of people like you and me--who--by no fault of our own--were born to people who were asleep--and may have abused us either covertly or overtly--and as adults--we throw blankets over those lights--tone ourselves down--allow other people to push us around--we fear rocking the boat and making others angry--ALL WHILE OUR LIFE IS PASSING US BY!!!!!!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
NO WAY and NO MORE!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Okay--I will stop here because I get really FIRED up over the idea that so many AWESOME people out there are ASLEEP and don't know it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You get the picture...
It took over a decade for me to break out of abusive relationships. During that time, I developed friendships with women also suffering in toxic relationships.
I formed what I thought were lifelong bonds with these women, as we had each other's backs over the years. When I broke out of the toxic relationship pattern, I hoped to inspire my friends.
I fully expected that sisterhood to cheer for me, but they became oddly silent. They became guarded and cautious toward me, as though I had betrayed them in finding my self-respect.
In hindsight, those friendships offered comfort in situations I should've never gotten comfortable in. Those trauma bonds helped me rationalize abuse. If 85% of my tribe were experiencing some form of abuse, it must have been normal.
On the other side of abuse and trauma bonds is more fulfillment than we can imagine when were still mentally stuck in that place. You will lose people when you take to self-healing. You need to shed these bonds as gracefully as the trees shed their leaves. Your growth depends on it.
This is so important. We need to be teaching our kids and also being aware our self that not everybody is nice and good. We don’t have to be bitter or think the whole world is a scary place but we have to be cautious, create boundaries and create space away from toxic people.
That's right. The Rising Woman's Coaching sessions are open!!! To celebrate Galentine's Day I've opened up a launch special.
1 x 75 minute session
1x The Consult work book
1 x week of Voxer access so I can be your personal cheerleader!
Why do you need this?
I was you, not long ago. I lost my confidence, my personality, my drive and my dreams. I knew I had to power through. I had to keep going for my daughter. It was hard. It was awful. I had no direction. No idea what to do or how to do it. That's why I've created Rising Woman Coaching. To show you how to do it. How to regain your confidence and trust in your self again.
You see worth every investment. You deserve to receive every opportunity 2020 has to offer.
You deserve to be you again.
I know this sounds like you. I know you're nervous and unsure. You've got this!
Link in bio.
Offer ends midnight 29 Feb.
Launch special price $120NZD
Normal price $200NZD
She is a rare soul, she has this infectious energy that makes you want to run next to her, she belonged to no one but herself & to anyone that was yet to understand themselves, found the missing pieces in her presence.
- Nikki Rowe 🌙💕, art by: @indg0
Made a little valentine's day story? Not a fan of the idea of looking for another half... You don't need someone to complete you, you are already whole... Often we forget part of who we are to please other because we feel that we are not worthy to be loved... But the whole of you is worthy! And the best partner is the one that love the whole of you, not asking you to change or be less you.
If you feel stuck or unsafe in your relationship, please reach out... #youarenotalone@womens_aid.
Found this gem today and though it was very fitting for the events of my day!! Divorce signed and filled...after nearly a 5 years I can wash my hands of quite possibly the most toxic person I have ever had to deal with! Not that people didn't try to tell me, not that Ineadnt aware of red flags, not that I don't regret it...I sighed a heavy sigh of relief when the judge handed me my signes copy!! Its been a rough road towards healing and recovery, but slowly, one day at a time I am becoming the woman I was meant to be m, the mom my kids need me to be! I'm a long ways from where I want to be, but a heck of a long ways from where I was!! Just know it you are in a toxic relationship and feel like there's no way out please know its possible!! Is it easy? God no!! If you need to support or to talk through things just know I'm here and willing to share my experiences! Keep your head up you can to this!! #narcissistsurvivor#anxietyawareness#depressionawareness#singlemomlife#YOUGETWHATYOUGIVE#findyourpeace#findyouwhy#fitERnurse#fitmom#fibrowarrior#healthy#toxicrelationshipsurvivor