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  • Note to self:
I can't change people. I can only love and accept them.
Today I chose freedom from exercising control over other people...😃🦋❤️
  • Note to self:
    I can't change people. I can only love and accept them.
    Today I chose freedom from exercising control over other people...😃🦋❤️
  • 27 3 16 hours ago

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  • 🥳 Happy 91st Birthday to my Grandmother!! 👵🏻 #grandma #gg #greatgrandma 💗 ••• {If you consistently watch my stories... you may recognize that balloon from about a week back.🎈😂 Inside jokes with my followers. Love it! 🙌🏼}
  • 🥳 Happy 91st Birthday to my Grandmother!! 👵🏻 #grandma #gg #greatgrandma 💗 ••• {If you consistently watch my stories... you may recognize that balloon from about a week back.🎈😂 Inside jokes with my followers. Love it! 🙌🏼}
  • 27 2 16 March, 2019
  • “I ain't got time to waste
I gotta go high 
I gotta elevate 
They wanna fight 
I'm just gon' let 'em hate 
I gotta go high 
I gotta elevate”
- DJ Khalil
  • “I ain't got time to waste
    I gotta go high
    I gotta elevate
    They wanna fight
    I'm just gon' let 'em hate
    I gotta go high
    I gotta elevate”
    - DJ Khalil
  • 29 3 16 March, 2019
  • #saturdaythoughts #saturdaze
••• Yeah, we’ve heard it before (hell, I’ve said it many times myself) that we are not for everyone and “our people” will never abandon us... well, I feel like that’s not always true. If we don’t fix the shit that’s running rampant in our minds when those triggers are set off, we will push those very people away. •

It’s not always their fault. Unless we communicate with them, they won’t know why we are doing the things we do or reacting the way we react. •

Here’s something I’ve learned to do (before I react) when someone does something that hits me in the core and stirs up old feelings: • ✨ Acknowledge the feeling. Sit quietly with it, breathe, and ask myself “what is it that I'm feeling right now and why am I feeling this way? What is it that I want? What need isn’t being met?” ...and then I let the answers come to me. •

You have to go deep. Describe the actual physical sensation that is happening in your body. At what points in time have you felt that same feeling? Go wayyy back. Chances are, the pain you’re feeling is coming from your childhood and multiplied along the way because you didn’t know what it was or how to deal with it back then. •

Writing it out helps me a lot. If you’re not a writer, talk it out — out loud to yourself or to a friend or therapist. You just have to get it out of your head; out of your body. It’s wreaking havoc. Just like when a bad germ gets inside of you and your body needs to purge to get it out. Same thing. Get it out. Holding it in is detrimental to your well-being. •

Annnd if I screw up and react before processing those emotions and realize later on that maybe that person wasn’t actually trying to hurt me (maybe it’s not always about me 🤯 ), I apologize to that person. We are all human after all. ✌🏼😘
  • #saturdaythoughts #saturdaze
    ••• Yeah, we’ve heard it before (hell, I’ve said it many times myself) that we are not for everyone and “our people” will never abandon us... well, I feel like that’s not always true. If we don’t fix the shit that’s running rampant in our minds when those triggers are set off, we will push those very people away. •

    It’s not always their fault. Unless we communicate with them, they won’t know why we are doing the things we do or reacting the way we react. •

    Here’s something I’ve learned to do (before I react) when someone does something that hits me in the core and stirs up old feelings: • ✨ Acknowledge the feeling. Sit quietly with it, breathe, and ask myself “what is it that I'm feeling right now and why am I feeling this way? What is it that I want? What need isn’t being met?” ...and then I let the answers come to me. •

    You have to go deep. Describe the actual physical sensation that is happening in your body. At what points in time have you felt that same feeling? Go wayyy back. Chances are, the pain you’re feeling is coming from your childhood and multiplied along the way because you didn’t know what it was or how to deal with it back then. •

    Writing it out helps me a lot. If you’re not a writer, talk it out — out loud to yourself or to a friend or therapist. You just have to get it out of your head; out of your body. It’s wreaking havoc. Just like when a bad germ gets inside of you and your body needs to purge to get it out. Same thing. Get it out. Holding it in is detrimental to your well-being. •

    Annnd if I screw up and react before processing those emotions and realize later on that maybe that person wasn’t actually trying to hurt me (maybe it’s not always about me 🤯 ), I apologize to that person. We are all human after all. ✌🏼😘
  • 19 3 16 March, 2019

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  • 6 1 15 March, 2019
  • See that smile? Genuine Happiness.. But what’s behind it you ask? The answer.. Real Gratitude and Excitement!
Nobody, 3 years ago would have convinced me that I could possibly feel this content just taking a relaxed walk down the beach right at my doorstep, discovering some history about my own backyard with some great company and Living Life on My own Terms 😊! 3 years ago I was miserable.. behind every smile was pain, self doubt and feeling worthless. All self limiting beliefs that came from experiences and values passed onto me from the day I was born from loved ones who were just doing their best with what they knew out of love and others through using my loyalty and kindness to fuel their own self worth which lead me to accepting toxic relationships in my life because I thought it was the best I could do...up until the day I finally realised that the only way I could give myself a fighting chance to find happiness and stop hating my life, was to find the courage to take action and start believing I could do better. I packed as many belongings as I could in my SUV and left my toxic relationship/alcoholic husband.. It was time to prove to myself that he was wrong! I could survive on my own.. and I DID...not only did I survive! I Thrived 💪🏽💪🏽. Of course my life isn’t perfect all the time.. we all have our days where old beliefs can creep in sometimes.. but when I look back at how far I have come, what a strong, beautiful, loving, kind, supportive, loyal and creative person I am and will continue to become.. I not only smile.. but it’s what drives me to help win this Fight 👊🏼.
I want to Empower women and men who are or have been in any Toxic and/or abusive relationship around the 🌍 to recognise that they are NONE of those things they have been lead to believe. You are capable, You are not stupid, You are Not weak, You are Not too unattractive or stupid to find someone else to love you, You are Not crazy... You are NONE of those things!! I Will show you and I Will Prove it to you. Watch this Space!.. ❤️ #toxicrelationships #narcissist #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #toxicrelationshipsurvivor #gaslighting #smile #believeinyourself #youareworthy
  • See that smile? Genuine Happiness.. But what’s behind it you ask? The answer.. Real Gratitude and Excitement!
    Nobody, 3 years ago would have convinced me that I could possibly feel this content just taking a relaxed walk down the beach right at my doorstep, discovering some history about my own backyard with some great company and Living Life on My own Terms 😊! 3 years ago I was miserable.. behind every smile was pain, self doubt and feeling worthless. All self limiting beliefs that came from experiences and values passed onto me from the day I was born from loved ones who were just doing their best with what they knew out of love and others through using my loyalty and kindness to fuel their own self worth which lead me to accepting toxic relationships in my life because I thought it was the best I could do...up until the day I finally realised that the only way I could give myself a fighting chance to find happiness and stop hating my life, was to find the courage to take action and start believing I could do better. I packed as many belongings as I could in my SUV and left my toxic relationship/alcoholic husband.. It was time to prove to myself that he was wrong! I could survive on my own.. and I DID...not only did I survive! I Thrived 💪🏽💪🏽. Of course my life isn’t perfect all the time.. we all have our days where old beliefs can creep in sometimes.. but when I look back at how far I have come, what a strong, beautiful, loving, kind, supportive, loyal and creative person I am and will continue to become.. I not only smile.. but it’s what drives me to help win this Fight 👊🏼.
    I want to Empower women and men who are or have been in any Toxic and/or abusive relationship around the 🌍 to recognise that they are NONE of those things they have been lead to believe. You are capable, You are not stupid, You are Not weak, You are Not too unattractive or stupid to find someone else to love you, You are Not crazy... You are NONE of those things!! I Will show you and I Will Prove it to you. Watch this Space!.. ❤️ #toxicrelationships #narcissist #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #toxicrelationshipsurvivor #gaslighting #smile #believeinyourself #youareworthy
  • 27 2 15 March, 2019
  • Werrrrk 💪🏼
  • Werrrrk 💪🏼
  • 36 1 14 March, 2019
  • Social Media is life. 😜
  • Social Media is life. 😜
  • 16 7 14 March, 2019
  • Here’s another special text from my narcissist ex that I found saved on my computer.  I’ll keep it brief because I tend to end up writing novels.  I liked to send him pictures of the moon and tell him to go look. I’d sometimes even post it on Facebook telling everyone to go look, and I’d notice other people doing the same.  The night before I got these texts from the narc, I had sent him a text asking if he could see the beautiful, full moon.  I had done that many times before.  I didn’t hear from him until the next day when I got these accusations from him.  He was asking me who took the photo. It turned out that a male friend of his had also sent him a text with a picture, telling him to check out how cool the moon looked.  So because we both sent him moon texts, he assumed we were together, cheating on him in bliss and laughing about it behind his back.  And because a narc thinks his feelings are true, he believed this crap to be true and insisted he was right and that I absolutely was cheating and am that kind of person.  No communication about this...just accusations and threats.  Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first text of this kind from him, nor would it be the last because I did not dump him and walk away.  Fast forward a year to just a  couple weeks before I finally did dump him and he had his new supply lined up to fall madly in ridiculous love with, instantly (so she thinks), and he was sending me pictures of the moon, telling me how he always thinks of me when he looks at the moon.  Aw, isn’t that special?  I wonder if the new supply girlfriend knows the moon reminded him of me just days before he started the instant  relationship with her.  Or does he tell her SHE’s as beautiful as the moon now? I guess because she moved him in with her and gave him a house and a fresh start, he’ll trust her and not accuse her of cheating if she likes something that a male friend of his likes, too.  Haha, yea, right.  Good luck to her.  It’s her turn to dance with the devil in the pale moon light. #npd #npdabuse #narcissistawareness #narcissistsurvivor #textsfromyournarcissistex #narcissism #narcissistpersonalitydisorder
  • Here’s another special text from my narcissist ex that I found saved on my computer. I’ll keep it brief because I tend to end up writing novels. I liked to send him pictures of the moon and tell him to go look. I’d sometimes even post it on Facebook telling everyone to go look, and I’d notice other people doing the same. The night before I got these texts from the narc, I had sent him a text asking if he could see the beautiful, full moon. I had done that many times before. I didn’t hear from him until the next day when I got these accusations from him. He was asking me who took the photo. It turned out that a male friend of his had also sent him a text with a picture, telling him to check out how cool the moon looked. So because we both sent him moon texts, he assumed we were together, cheating on him in bliss and laughing about it behind his back. And because a narc thinks his feelings are true, he believed this crap to be true and insisted he was right and that I absolutely was cheating and am that kind of person. No communication about this...just accusations and threats. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first text of this kind from him, nor would it be the last because I did not dump him and walk away. Fast forward a year to just a couple weeks before I finally did dump him and he had his new supply lined up to fall madly in ridiculous love with, instantly (so she thinks), and he was sending me pictures of the moon, telling me how he always thinks of me when he looks at the moon. Aw, isn’t that special? I wonder if the new supply girlfriend knows the moon reminded him of me just days before he started the instant relationship with her. Or does he tell her SHE’s as beautiful as the moon now? I guess because she moved him in with her and gave him a house and a fresh start, he’ll trust her and not accuse her of cheating if she likes something that a male friend of his likes, too. Haha, yea, right. Good luck to her. It’s her turn to dance with the devil in the pale moon light. #npd #npdabuse #narcissistawareness #narcissistsurvivor #textsfromyournarcissistex #narcissism #narcissistpersonalitydisorder
  • 6 2 14 March, 2019
  • 2015 Shonna... lost about 30 lbs 🙌🏼; but still dealt with turmoil and feeling unsure of herself on the inside. Broke up with the douche bag ex 👋🏼 ...went back to him a couple months later (per yooj). 🤦🏻‍♀️ •

2019 Shonna... wayyy more confident (except in certain situations), knows she has more work to do - in and out - but that’s a personal choice, not because she doesn’t realize how far she’s come... but because she knows how far she has yet to go. •

She has dreams to actualize and goals to crush. And she’s not giving up without a fight. She’s no longer fighting to be loved. She is fighting because she loves herself. 💜💪🏼 •

Somewhere in between, she became a Beachbody Coach and decided to become a product of the product. Her  workouts became more consistent; she drank the shakes; followed the calendars; ate the healthier foods; focused on personal development books and podcasts; and her whole world began to change. •

Little did she know she would leave that douchebag ex AGAIN, but this time it would stick. FOR GOOD. It’s been over a year 🙏🏼 🙌🏼 and there’s no turning back. Despite the heartaches and the dark times, life hasn’t been all that bad. It’s been pretty freaking amazing. #thankful •

If you’re ready to take action and start making life changing decisions, comment or send me a message and let’s chat. ✌🏼
  • 2015 Shonna... lost about 30 lbs 🙌🏼; but still dealt with turmoil and feeling unsure of herself on the inside. Broke up with the douche bag ex 👋🏼 ...went back to him a couple months later (per yooj). 🤦🏻‍♀️ •

    2019 Shonna... wayyy more confident (except in certain situations), knows she has more work to do - in and out - but that’s a personal choice, not because she doesn’t realize how far she’s come... but because she knows how far she has yet to go. •

    She has dreams to actualize and goals to crush. And she’s not giving up without a fight. She’s no longer fighting to be loved. She is fighting because she loves herself. 💜💪🏼 •

    Somewhere in between, she became a Beachbody Coach and decided to become a product of the product. Her workouts became more consistent; she drank the shakes; followed the calendars; ate the healthier foods; focused on personal development books and podcasts; and her whole world began to change. •

    Little did she know she would leave that douchebag ex AGAIN, but this time it would stick. FOR GOOD. It’s been over a year 🙏🏼 🙌🏼 and there’s no turning back. Despite the heartaches and the dark times, life hasn’t been all that bad. It’s been pretty freaking amazing. #thankful

    If you’re ready to take action and start making life changing decisions, comment or send me a message and let’s chat. ✌🏼
  • 30 13 12 March, 2019
  • Didn’t want to wake up before dawn to take Jackson to school for LGPE this morning... but then there was this beautiful sunrise 🌄 on my way home, and that extra time spent with my oldest son made it all worth while. 💗 Good luck today, @jacque_mayonnaise_
  • Didn’t want to wake up before dawn to take Jackson to school for LGPE this morning... but then there was this beautiful sunrise 🌄 on my way home, and that extra time spent with my oldest son made it all worth while. 💗 Good luck today, @jacque_mayonnaise_
  • 26 4 12 March, 2019
  • Cropping out all the weird shit that happens during my workouts is time consuming... and quite frankly, boring. So I kept some of it in there for ya. #noshame Pretty sure I was put here on this planet strictly for entertainment purposes only. 🤪 #thisismylife
  • Cropping out all the weird shit that happens during my workouts is time consuming... and quite frankly, boring. So I kept some of it in there for ya. #noshame Pretty sure I was put here on this planet strictly for entertainment purposes only. 🤪 #thisismylife
  • 38 5 12 March, 2019
  • Witchcraft, I tell you!! 🧙🏻‍♂️
  • Witchcraft, I tell you!! 🧙🏻‍♂️
  • 19 8 11 March, 2019
  • I find it curious that highly sensitive, empathic women are often the ones who find themselves starting over, well into life.
.
We are so contradictory in so many beautiful ways. ✨
.
We tend to stay in toxic situations for a really long time, but we’re seriously disinclined to settle. This is so important to say as it speaks directly to self-forgiveness: we see the hurt people beneath the people hurting us. Our hearts go out. We want to help. We  c a n  help, if only they would let us. If only they would try. (But we’re not supposed to do that. It feels right and it’s so easy for us, but it’s not our job to fix anyone. Boundaries). 💪
.
So, if and when we finally do leave, oh, the mountain of (ahem) *growth that awaits us on the other side.
.
Maybe you don’t have a career in place because they wanted to ‘take care of you’ (financial control=financial abuse). Don’t be ashamed of that.
.
Don’t be ashamed of any of it.
.
Coming out from below someone else, or even the weight of ‘normal’ expectations that never fit you is an exercise fraught with longing for how secure you used to feel (even if things sucked half the time), a sense of shame (we’re so different, we crave meaning not just a paycheck, we get overstimulated by seemingly inane office environments or people), helplessness (we’re scared and processing so much so constantly and develop or stay mired in physical illness or pain).
.
But we don’t let any of that stop us. 🌸
.
Sensitive, not weak. 💖
.
Do you relate?
.
I’m experiencing so much of this myself.
.
It’s a long slog; moving through the muck means acknowledging it and to say that’s not easy is a massive understatement.
.
I want to say that if you are here too, or staring down this road and feeling apprehension, I’m cheering you on. 💕
.
We’re so much braver than we get (or give ourselves) credit for. ☀️
.
Can you bring your attention to one teeny tiny thing you are doing to make your life better? Your health?
.
It may not feel like a big deal in the moment, but the act of showing up for ourselves changes things.
.
It can be scary. 10 minutes into it, though? You could be feeling all kinds of pride and excitement. Steady on. 💗
.
@thebehappyproject
  • I find it curious that highly sensitive, empathic women are often the ones who find themselves starting over, well into life.
    .
    We are so contradictory in so many beautiful ways. ✨
    .
    We tend to stay in toxic situations for a really long time, but we’re seriously disinclined to settle. This is so important to say as it speaks directly to self-forgiveness: we see the hurt people beneath the people hurting us. Our hearts go out. We want to help. We c a n help, if only they would let us. If only they would try. (But we’re not supposed to do that. It feels right and it’s so easy for us, but it’s not our job to fix anyone. Boundaries). 💪
    .
    So, if and when we finally do leave, oh, the mountain of (ahem) *growth that awaits us on the other side.
    .
    Maybe you don’t have a career in place because they wanted to ‘take care of you’ (financial control=financial abuse). Don’t be ashamed of that.
    .
    Don’t be ashamed of any of it.
    .
    Coming out from below someone else, or even the weight of ‘normal’ expectations that never fit you is an exercise fraught with longing for how secure you used to feel (even if things sucked half the time), a sense of shame (we’re so different, we crave meaning not just a paycheck, we get overstimulated by seemingly inane office environments or people), helplessness (we’re scared and processing so much so constantly and develop or stay mired in physical illness or pain).
    .
    But we don’t let any of that stop us. 🌸
    .
    Sensitive, not weak. 💖
    .
    Do you relate?
    .
    I’m experiencing so much of this myself.
    .
    It’s a long slog; moving through the muck means acknowledging it and to say that’s not easy is a massive understatement.
    .
    I want to say that if you are here too, or staring down this road and feeling apprehension, I’m cheering you on. 💕
    .
    We’re so much braver than we get (or give ourselves) credit for. ☀️
    .
    Can you bring your attention to one teeny tiny thing you are doing to make your life better? Your health?
    .
    It may not feel like a big deal in the moment, but the act of showing up for ourselves changes things.
    .
    It can be scary. 10 minutes into it, though? You could be feeling all kinds of pride and excitement. Steady on. 💗
    .
    @thebehappyproject
  • 132 23 11 March, 2019
  • “Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter
'Cause all my life I've been fighting.
Never felt a feeling of comfort;
All this time I've been lying.
And I never had someone to call my own;
I'm so used to sharing.
Love only left me alone,
But I'm at one with the silence. •

I found peace in your violence.
Can't show me. 
There’s no point in trying.
I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long... •

I'm in need of a savior, 
But I'm not asking for favors.
My whole life I've felt like a burden.
I think too much and I hate it...
Loving never gave me a home, so I sit here in the #silence “ — @marshmellomusic •

So much #realness in #thoselyricstho 
I’m not sad. I’m at one. 🙏🏼✌🏼 #foundpeace
  • “Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter
    'Cause all my life I've been fighting.
    Never felt a feeling of comfort;
    All this time I've been lying.
    And I never had someone to call my own;
    I'm so used to sharing.
    Love only left me alone,
    But I'm at one with the silence. •

    I found peace in your violence.
    Can't show me.
    There’s no point in trying.
    I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long... •

    I'm in need of a savior,
    But I'm not asking for favors.
    My whole life I've felt like a burden.
    I think too much and I hate it...
    Loving never gave me a home, so I sit here in the #silence “ — @marshmellomusic

    So much #realness in #thoselyricstho
    I’m not sad. I’m at one. 🙏🏼✌🏼 #foundpeace
  • 27 1 10 March, 2019
  • #aboutlastfriday ...well 2 Fridays ago... Sunrise breakfast in Scottsdale. I guess the chef was feeling a little stabby. 🔪😬🤷🏻‍♀️😉 •

I don’t remember eating a single thing I didn’t LOVE on this trip... even those Steak Rattlesnake Fries from Taco Bell were tasty. 😋😂
  • #aboutlastfriday ...well 2 Fridays ago... Sunrise breakfast in Scottsdale. I guess the chef was feeling a little stabby. 🔪😬🤷🏻‍♀️😉 •

    I don’t remember eating a single thing I didn’t LOVE on this trip... even those Steak Rattlesnake Fries from Taco Bell were tasty. 😋😂
  • 28 2 10 March, 2019
  • “...if you ever need a fool who will give you a love so true, you can always find me where the skies are blue...” @thelumineers
  • “...if you ever need a fool who will give you a love so true, you can always find me where the skies are blue...” @thelumineers
  • 34 16 10 March, 2019
  • 💜 Remember that time I wrote about purple skies?... yeah, that one was about you. •••
Of all the things I miss from this trip... I miss you the most. 
#thanksforthememories ✌🏼
  • 💜 Remember that time I wrote about purple skies?... yeah, that one was about you. •••
    Of all the things I miss from this trip... I miss you the most.
    #thanksforthememories ✌🏼
  • 45 1 10 March, 2019
  • “Love is blind only to the eyes. The heart sees everything.” 🌻✌🏼💜 •

I ate here TWICE... on the same day. That’s how good it was. So healthy and yummy. 😋 •

#takemeback
  • “Love is blind only to the eyes. The heart sees everything.” 🌻✌🏼💜 •

    I ate here TWICE... on the same day. That’s how good it was. So healthy and yummy. 😋 •

    #takemeback
  • 21 1 10 March, 2019